


Different Shades of Meyer

by PsychoCalixteLove



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Angst, BDSM, Dark Past, Dom/sub, Dominate, Dominate Beca, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, Fluff, Past Child Abuse, Past Sexual Abuse, Smut, Submissive, Submissive Kommissar, fifty shades of grey AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-17
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2018-12-16 14:37:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 77,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11830794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PsychoCalixteLove/pseuds/PsychoCalixteLove
Summary: When Beca Mitchell meets the Atlanta billionaire, Luisa Meyer, she's initially drawn to the woman from looks alone. Quickly, their relationship turns sexual and that's when Luisa is exposed for who she really is. As they progress as a couple, the dark secrets of Luisa's past threaten to tear apart the relationship they desperately fought for. But Beca knows in the end, she'll see all the different shades of Meyer before she knows how to love the sensually enigmatic woman.





	1. Chapter 1

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/151741305@N08/35869012333/in/dateposted-public/)

 

OFFICIAL RELEASE DATE: January 27, 2018


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dah Dah D-Dah! First chapter is here!
> 
> Since the books are longer than I anticipated, I’m going to combine chapters so they will be longer, but the whole book will be shorter because this will cover all the way through FSF (Freed). I am reading the novels as I’m writing this, so small insignificant scenes will be either summarized or cut out entirely. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> Psycho : P

**Beca**

 

God, I hated this. I hated Stacie. Why was this foisted onto me? Damn Stacie Conrad, for being sick with the flu so I had to fill in for her. I should’ve been studying for finals, which are next week, or even at my job at the hardware store, but not in front of my mirror. I looked up and down my outfit as I scrutinized my tiny form. Literally, all black skinny jeans, boots, and tank top with a blazer thrown over top to give some formality. I left my hair down because it wouldn’t obey me no matter how hard I tried. Putting it up didn’t work and I could barely get it unknotted. Damn long hair. I ran a brush through it one more time before walking out into the living room of mine and Stacie’s shared apartment and seeing the woman on the couch. She was wearing her special pajamas she only wore when she was sick, concentrated, or just lazy. I thought it was the latter until she told me she had come down with the flu and I had to fill in with her. She was supposed to do an interview of this billionaire who lived in Atlanta, a good 250 miles from where we lived in Savannah, but once she got sick, I was offered up as a replacement. “Please, Beca? It took me so long to even get the interview, and it’ll take me even longer to reschedule,” Stacie whined, standing in front of me. I huffed out a breath, stared at her, and finally committed. “Fine, but you owe me.”

She squealed loudly as she took me in her arms, her excitement nearly killing me. I stood there frozen in the jumping girl’s arms without a sense of what to do. When I decided enough was enough, I pushed her away and said, “Okay, okay. Calm the hell down. It’s not like I’m saving the world.” She backed off at my request, then laid back down on the couch and wrapped in the blanket with the remote in her hand. I collected my bag while she ran down the list of things I needed for the interview, except a simple biography. I had no idea who this Luisa Meyer was supposed to be or anything beyond a name. I didn’t know what I was going to do about it since I only had a few hours to get to the interview and it was already noon. I finished packing, threw my messenger bag over my shoulder, and kissed Stacie’s head. “Feel better,” I whispered, leaving the apartment to my car. He was a restored 1967 dark blue mustang with two white stripes down the back and his name was Keith. I found the name fitting so that was what I called him. He wasn’t reliable, nor was he entirely unreliable, but he has broken down a few times in the past few years. His white leather interior was my favorite part of him, which made me paranoid about getting it dirty.

I climbed in, started the car, and was on my way to Atlanta, more specifically Meyer House, the headquarters of his/her enterprise. By the time I got there, it was about two in the afternoon due to the bit of speeding I did on the Interstate and I was already done with this. A two-hour drive for fifteen minutes? Really great, Stace. Kudos to you. I tried to forget my disposition with this ordeal and pushed into the steel and curved glass building with MEYER HOUSE written on the doors. I was met with a gorgeous lobby with a small waterfall in the nearby wall, a backlit sign behind the reception desk, and a few elevators on the back wall. I gasped at the sight before remembering I had to do something. I made my way to the large desk I could barely stand at and was met with an immaculate blonde in a sharp suit. She glanced up at me once as her eyes widened in surprise like she wasn’t expecting a small, emo, and slightly annoyed woman. I mean, who is ever expecting someone with dark eye makeup, all black outfit, and a demeanor that said, “Fuck off,”? She composed herself, though she still looked mildly disturbed, and asked me, “May I help you?”

“Yes. Beca Mitchell for Stacie Conrad. I’m here to see Mr. or Ms. Meyer.”

“Ms. Meyer, and let me check that.” She gave me one more judgy glance before looking at a document on her screen. I became slightly self-conscious because of that, but I thought I looked fine enough, so I left it at that. “Alright, Miss Conrad is expected. You may go to the twentieth floor via the elevators,” the blonde gestured as if I was stupid to not use the elevators. I was not going to use the stairs simply because I hate stairs. I rode the elevator up the floors with nothing on my mind but the sound of my own breathing. My heart was racing surprisingly fast, yet I hadn’t even met the woman I was to interview. Her name just gave off intimidating vibes. Luisa Meyer. She must have been from somewhere else because she didn’t sound American. I mean, I had never met any American with the name of Luisa, besides that character from _The Fantasticks_ , but I doubt she was in a play in the 60’s. Unless she was, then I’d have to interview someone in their sixties, which I didn’t want to do. The ding of the elevator reaching the twentieth floor brought me out of my reverie and I snapped to attention, my boots clacking. The lobby resembled the ground floor only there wasn’t a waterfall, although there was another blonde behind the desk. She greeted me much like the other one and I wondered if every worker here was blonde. That is, until I saw a tall, black man with long dreadlocks walk out of what I supposed was Ms. Meyer’s office and tell her, “See you at the wall, Meyer.”

The man smiled at me with a fire in his dark eyes before waving bye to the blonde in front of me and leaving through the elevator. I pulled out my notebook, pen, and recorder that Stacie gave me as I was handed a tag that read, “Visitor”. It wasn’t long before my bag was taken and I was sent to the large office with the words, “Ms. Meyer will see you now.” I pushed open the door, stepped on my laces, and tripped onto my face. I dropped my materials but didn’t bother picking them up because I was flat on my face. The wind got knocked out of me as well as all the confidence I originally had. I caught my breath while hearing the sound of clicking heels against the hardwood floor coming toward me. I thought it was one of the receptionists, but when I looked up, all I could see were beautifully shaved, tanned, and moisturized shins. The accompanying small, grey heels gave me just a preview of who Luisa Meyer was. If the rest of her was anything like her shins, then I’d be in grave danger of embarrassing myself.

Pulling myself back to reality, I struggled to gather my things and stand up properly. A hand was offered to me and it was the same coloration as the shins with perfectly manicured nails. I took it to regain my balance, but the first thing out of my mouth wasn’t a thank you. “My God, you’re hands are so soft.” I immediately blush a deep scarlet before looking up at Ms. Meyer. I was right. Everything about this woman was perfect. Her oval face encompassed sparkling, sterling grey eyes, tantalizing, full, pink lips, and a peaking, delicate, deer-like nose. She was absolutely gorgeous. Her blonde hair (another fucking blonde!) was pulled back into a low ponytail that ran halfway down her back and her black, rectangular glasses were big enough to surround her eyes, but not big enough to cover her perfectly sculpted eyebrows. She wore simple, silver ball earrings and a grey business suit with a grey knee-length pencil skirt, grey blazer, and a white shirt. Her grey tie that was around her neck was loose enough for me to peek at her tanned chest and ends of her collarbones. There was a silver watch on her left wrist and a faint smile playing on her perfect lips almost as if she was silently mocking me for my comment. “Miss Conrad. How lovely to meet you. My name is Luisa Meyer,” she introduced, her voice low and mildly husky. Her voice was pure sex with the mellow tones of an accent that should’ve been obvious to me. It was something someone would want to hear in the middle of getting fingered.

Or so I thought. I was in my senior year of college and I still hadn’t had sex yet. I was never teased for it because no one ever knew, except Stacie. I stumbled on my words for a few seconds before being able to form a correct sentence. “I’m-I’m sorry. My name’s Beca Mitchell. I’m filling in for Stacie. I mean, Miss Conrad.” All the playfulness drained from the blonde’s face as she retracted her hand and explained, “I only have a few minutes. Come, Miss Mitchell. Sit.” I wanted to tell her so badly not to call me that, but I thought she got the idea when I visibly cringed at the name. I sat down in a chair across from her desk while she sat at her desk for a second, then stood back up as if she didn’t want to sit down. She walked around to the front of the glass desk and sat down on the edge with her hands next to her. I took a few moments to clear my head and set up the recorder, which was actually quite difficult to operate. My head was filled with images of her physique, mainly those lips, my God, those lips. So full, so glossy. I just wish I could—

“Alright! Set up. Do you mind if I record this?” I looked up at her nervously with my notebook and pen in my hand. I half expected her to say no because she just seemed touchy about that thing, but she simply said, “Not at all, Maus. It would be pointless if you didn’t since you already have it set up.”

“Right. So let’s get started then.” I breathed a few times to calm my shaky nerves about this woman. I’ve barely known her for ten minutes and I was super intimidated by her to the point where I could feel her penetrating gaze on me anytime I looked away. “Has Stacie, Miss Conrad, told you what this was about?”

She adjusted herself on the desk and said, “Yes. I’m going to be conferring the degrees at this year’s graduation ceremony at Barden University Savannah.” My jaw dropped a bit. That was my college. I didn’t know any of this.

“Oh, you are?” I asked awestruck. I realized that came off as unprofessional and that her little smile faded again. “I mean, you are. I knew that.” Sure you did Mitchell, sure. I took another deep breath, glanced at my paper, then read the next question. “You are so young to have this empire. To what do you owe your success?”

She looked at me like I had asked the most stupid question ever. To be fair, the question was really cliché and no one should ever ask that question again. She closed her eyes, exhaled gently, and answered. “Business is about people. I’ve always been good with people. What drives them, what discourages them, what . . . incentivizes them.” She dragged her gaze over me as she pulled part of her lower lip in between her white teeth and caught her breath. “I’ve hired a fantastic team and because of it, my business has been able to flourish the way it has.”

“Maybe you’re lucky,” I spouted before I had time to think. I was straying away from the vague script Stacie gave me and I didn’t mean to.

“Well, I don’t believe in luck, Maus. It seems, the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have. And by working so hard, I also find I can give up a lot of my power.”

“Why would you want to give up power? Aren’t business CEO’s like . . . control freaks?” The woman in front of me tensed slightly before swallowing hard and sharply inhaling.

“Let’s just say, I don’t like to be in control of some situations. When it comes to business, I like having control. Other things like pleasure activities, I prefer being told what to do.” I had no idea what to make of her statement because her voice was so sensual, but her expression was so stolid. Like I was getting mixed signals. I decided not to focus on what she was implying and moved to the next question. “What do you like to do when you chill out?”

“Well, Maus. When I, ‘chill out’ as you say, I enjoy various physical pursuits.” Once again, she bit her lower lip, but a little more fiercely this time as well as gripping the edge of the table. I felt my breathing hitch at the sight as if I knew she was getting turned on by what she was thinking. I, of course, didn’t know what she was thinking, but I assumed it had something to do with physical movement. I mean, with her? I would’ve loved to do anything physical. I snapped my attention back to her with a flush of my cheeks to see she had returned to her normal, intimidating stance, which made my thoughts seem like a dream. “As I said, I like to be active because it helps to calm me after a long day.” She stood and repositioned herself next to me in the other chair only two feet away. Her legs crossed at the ankles, her hands folded in her lap, and her head turned toward me. Her sly smile came back and I got lost in the way her lips curled upward. “Sounds like you’re talking more from your heart than your head,” I piped, surprised by my own words.

She chuckled a bit before saying, “There are some people who’d say I don’t have a heart.”

All I did was stare curiously at her. “Why do I get the feeling that is not true?” I could tell I surprised her with the question because her lips formed a tight line and her eyes widened a bit. To avoid the intention of my question, she went back to her desk and stood looking out the window with her back to me. Her hands clasped behind her back as I could see her light reflection against the darkening sky. Drizzle began coming down and sprinkling the window. She took a deep breath. “It’s just some people know me well, that’s all.”

My curiosity sparked enough for me to pursue, “Would they say you’re easy to get to know?” She turned around, leaned against the glass, and rested her head on her hand. One arm came across her stomach that her other arm rested on. A playful smile played on her lips while her eyes veiled her shyness. She blinked once and she was back to intimidating mode. “I’m a very private person, Maus. I go many distances to protect said privacy and I don’t give interviews often . . . “

“Then why agree to this one?”

“For one, Miss Conrad wouldn’t stop bothering me about it. Two, I felt I needed to try something different than my normal schedule.” That was Stacie for you, but what did she mean by that? Her answer was final so I moved to the next question. Since I hadn’t read the questions beforehand, I was left to suffer the embarrassment of the next few questions. “You were adopted. How do you believe that affected you?” I did a double take at my paper then cautiously looked at her. She stood up fully, tensed up entirely, and sternly told me, “I have no way of knowing, _Miss_ _Mitchell_.”

Though I know I shouldn’t have, I pressed forward, “How old were you when you were adopted?”

She stooped over her desk with her hands firmly pressed against the glass as she nearly scolded me, “That’s a matter of public record, _Miss Mitchell_. Now, I suggest we move to the next question.” Her voice was terse and demanding, which made me see what she meant by liking control in business situations.

Being as awkward as I am, I avoided her gaze to read off the next question. “Are you gay?” I regretted it as soon as I said it because I should’ve known Stacie would ask that. The problem of two bisexuals in one apartment. On the plus side, Ms. Meyer did seem to lighten up at the shocking question. She removed her hands from the desk, sat in her chair, and simply looked at me. Her lips pursed this way and that as she considered how to answer. It wasn’t until she bit her lip again and looked back out the splotchy window did she respond. “Yes, actually,” turning her head back to me, “I am gay.” A smile replaced her annoyed expression and I saw a few of her white teeth. Her tongue peeked out as she leaned toward me to jokingly inquire, “Are you gay, meine feisty Maus?” Her voice was low enough for the recorder to not pick it up, but I certainly did. I dropped everything in my hands, including the recorder, and nearly fell out of my chair. I assumed that answered her question because the next thing I knew she had picked me up and set me on my feet. Her hands remained on my biceps and burned through my clothes. Her hands were so warm and so soft, I basically melted into them. She let go of me to pick up my belongings and hand them back to me. I sat down calmly for not even a minute before the door opened. It was one of the blondes I had met at the reception desk. “Sorry to interrupt, Ms. Meyer, but your next meeting is in five minutes.”

“Cancel it. We’re not finished here, Andrea.” The woman left almost immediately with a nod of her head. I didn’t want to hold up her other meetings so I began to stand up again. “What are you doing, Maus?” Luisa wondered aloud, looking at me curiously.

“Um . . . I didn’t want to hold your other meetings.” I gazed back into her eyes to see fluctuations in her pupils and irises.

“Don’t worry about those. I want to get to know you some more.” She was barely two feet from me and I was dying for her to get closer to me.

“There’s not much to know about me.”

“Sure there is. What are your plans for after college?” Okay, when did this suddenly become about me?

“Stacie, er . . . Miss Conrad and I are planning on moving here, but not much else after that.”

“We have a fantastic internship program here. I’m sure you’d get into it.” Her eyes and smile were bright with optimism or was that . . . fascination? I couldn’t tell because I didn’t have either until now. Whichever one, I wanted there to be more of it. It would’ve been better if I was always the cause of her fascination, then I thought, “She couldn’t be captivated by me? The tiny, uncoordinated, mouse I am? Definitely not.”

“Well, I’m not sure if I’d fit in here.” Her light died out a bit and I hated myself for killing it, but she could just ask.

“Why not?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” I countered, gesturing down at myself with my self-deprecation made clear. She let her eyes wander down my small body to take in every curve before gazing back at me with the same gloss over her eyes as if I was a piece of chocolate and she was on her period. The blonde stepped closer, reached up, and brushed a piece of my hair behind my ear. She traced my ear with her fingertips and trailed them down the side of my neck until her hand rested gently against my cheek. She ran the pad of her thumb back and forth over my cheek as she pulled at her lip for like the third time. I was captivated by the subtle action, but I couldn’t explain why the image was engraved into my mind. “Not to me, it isn’t,” she whispered, allowing her lips to part slightly. I didn’t know whether she was being sincere or not because all I could feel was burn marks where she touched me. She was so warm I almost wanted to see what her lips felt like against my neck. I realized I wasn’t breathing and I nearly choked on the breath I took. “I-I’m sorry. I have a long drive home. I’ve got to go,” I observed, looking to check if I had all my belongings.

“If you’re driving to Savannah, be careful. The roads are probably slick now.” She removed her hand from my face and began clacking to the door. I followed after, although I couldn’t figure out why she’d be concerned with my safety. She opened the door for me before letting me go first. “So I make sure meine Maus doesn’t fall again,” she teased, closing the door behind her. I was about to walk into the elevator when I remembered I had to get my bag. I turned around to get it, but Luisa already had it and was going to give it to me. She held up the strap as I squirmed my way inside, trying to avoid her touch. The strap settled on my shoulder with her warm palm pressed against it, my breath catching again. I shouldn’t have been feeling like that and I knew it so I kind of shrunk away. Luisa’s face didn’t reflect the small pain I thought I caused her, but I could tell, she was hiding something . . . or everything. The question was too complicated for me to answer myself. I stepped into the elevator alone and watched the doors close.

“Luisa.”

“Maus.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize if these chapters are long. Let me know if they are too long.

**Beca**

 

The few days after I first met Luisa Meyer were like my regular schedule, but she was constantly in the back of my mind, ready to attack and invade my thoughts whenever I had even a moment to spare. All I could ever think about were her lips, her warming touch, and her deep voice. Her voice and her lip bite haunted me all the way back to my apartment where Stacie was still in her pajamas. I gave her my bag before heading off to work so she could work on her article while I was gone. Restocking the shelves really helped me concentrate and not focus on the hot blonde from earlier that day. I had to admit, I started to feel something different toward Luisa that I couldn’t explain because I had never been attracted to anyone in my life. It didn’t take long for Stacie to figure this out as I had barely gotten home when she teased me about how I sounded on the recording. “You know, she sounds quite taken with you,” the dark-haired girl pointed out, watching me as I walked into the kitchen. Who did she think this woman was? Some Romeo looking for a Juliet? That was one tragedy I’d be willing to skip out on. I left the conversation at that because I didn’t want to encourage her antagonizing though I couldn’t deny the dream I had when I went to bed: pure warmth, soft skin, and cinnamon scent splayed over my body with the reminiscent image of blonde hair and blue-grey eyes.

The next day when I had talked to my father, he seemed to know something was up the minute I responded to his call. “Hey, Becs. What’s up?” He sounded happier than I had known him to be in a long time. We had a good relationship like a father and daughter should, especially with his changing of partners every few years. First, it was Sarah, my actual mother. Then, came Raymond. I consider Raymond to be my, well, other father figure and mother figure because once my father moved on to Sheila, I stayed with Raymond. He was currently on spouse number four, Robert, and called because I hadn’t in a while. And my hesitation was noticeable. “Is something wrong?” he gasped, “Did you meet someone?” I huffed out a breath. I didn’t know how he did this. “No, Dad. It’s nothing. I’ll explain later when I figure it out.” I prayed to the heavens that he didn’t ask any further questions about it and my prayers were answered when he changed the subject. We finished our conversation not long afterward after I found out he couldn’t come to my graduation because Robert hurt himself playing a sport he said was “the hottest trend in the community”, meaning the LGBT community. What sport could that have been? Cardio because no matter who one was in the community, everything required stamina of some sort.

Later that night, my friend Jesse came over with a bottle of champagne. He was the first person I met at Barden that I wasn’t immediately put off by. Mainly because he was a guy and I didn’t make girl-friends too well because, well, I’ve had some bad experiences with friends who were girls. Anyway, Jesse was enrolled in the music program at Barden for scoring movies, but he had a passion for photography. I always told him he’d be the greatest director, but he always got shy with the sort of smile that hinted at more than friendship. I had to keep telling him we’re just friends, though I didn’t think he actually got the message because he kept doing small things for me I didn’t want done. “I have great news,” he said, holding up the bottle of alcohol. He smiled while his brown eyes lit up in excitement then finished, “The Savannah Street Gallery is displaying my photos next month.” I gasped before giving him a hug in congratulations and telling him, “Congrats, Jess! You deserve this. You really do.” Stacie gave her congrats as she took the bottle from Jesse and opened it. We spent the rest of the night drinking and I sent Jesse on his way with a taxi so he didn’t get arrested for a DUI.

********

I thanked heaven that the next day was Saturday. I had work at eleven, but by then I still had a pounding headache. I put on my sunglasses that made me look like a stoner because they were square and green and I drove Keith to my job. I ate a bagel as I eased into the busy schedule for the day. I sat in jeans and a long sleeve shirt rolled up to the elbows with my apron on, my mind wandering through the first day I met Luisa. Her burning eyes and touch still lingered on me and I hated my body for responding when my mind couldn’t. I was brought out of my trance when the owner of the store asked me for help with recording the number of items we need based off what we had. I needed the distraction so I followed the order compliantly. I continuously glanced up and down between the book in my hands and the computer screen while recording what we didn’t have enough of. I saw someone turn the corner and stop to look at me from where they were through my peripheral vision before looking up and seeing a terrifying sight. Luisa was standing right in front of me a few feet away. I jumped enough to drop the book and nearly fall, but I caught myself in time. She chuckled a bit before stepping closer cautiously with a faint smile playing on her perfect lips I couldn’t stop staring at. I dragged my eyes over the rest of her outfit that was surprisingly tight on her. She wore a black long sleeve turtleneck with the sleeves pulled up to her elbows and the same silver watch on her left wrist. Her pants were grey and fit her waist and hips perfectly while the rest was left to loosely flow around her legs.

Her hair was left down to play around her shoulders, though it came down past her chest. It looked as though she had spent a long times brushing it because it was so delicate and light. She clearly saw me checking her out which prompted her to run her fingers through her hair and tease it over one shoulder to expose the gentle curve of her neck. I lost my breath at the sight and barely whispered, “Ms. Meyer.” She seemed to have heard me because she stepped even closer and said back, “Hello, Maus. What a surprise.” Why the hell was she here? She was barely three feet away with her hands on the desk in front of me, but they were laid flat on the surface. She scanned my now red face for something I didn’t know and tilted her head to the side before pulling her lower lip in again. I was captivated by the sight (yet again) and wanted desperately to reach out and touch her. To remember the feeling of her skin against mine. To breathe in the scent of her body from before. To dominate the teasing of her demeanor toward me. I wanted desperately to show this woman that I was a force to be reckoned with and that I was not going to succumb to her ungodly good looks. The confidence in me spurred to life and suddenly, I was in control of myself in a way I only got sometimes. I stood up straight, let my face flush of the color, then asked, “What can I do for you today?” She lifted an eyebrow at me in questioning before leaning back up with her arms crossed over her chest. “Ja, Feisty Maus is definitely more suiting.”

“Maus if just fine,” I pointed out, completely forgetting my own name for a second. She smirked in triumph as if she won, but I knew I was going to win. “Anyway, I was in town on business and I needed to pick up a few things. Since you seem to be familiar with this store, you can help me,” Luisa explained, her low voice sounding like rich and melted, dark chocolate. I bent over to pick up the book I dropped and calmly placed it back in its place in the cubby underneath the keyboard of the computer. “Alright, so what do you need first?” I proposed, looking her dead in the face. She seemed to be aroused by my confidence and I ignored it as she responded, “I need cable ties.” Cable ties? Why did she need those? Whatever.

“Okay, follow me then,” I started to lead her to the section with cable ties and I could hear the boots she was wearing hit the ground gently. Her step was light but made a sound which helped me know when she was close behind me. I could almost feel her eyes assess my body from behind and I walked with more of a domineering attitude. It was like I could smell the pheromones she was secreting because she walked closer to me as if she wanted to turn me on. I stopped by the cable ties and motioned to them. “Take your pick.” She gingerly picked out the package of a hundred count that was entirely black. Should’ve guessed. Though I had no idea what she was going to use them for, I couldn’t help the thought of her actually being a do-it-yourselfer. She examined the package a second then held them at her side to say, “Next is masking tape.” I stopped questioning the abnormal requests and just went along with what she was asking for.

I sauntered over another two aisles to the various tapes and picked up two different widths off the wall. I made sure they were both black since I was expecting her to ask for it anyway. I showed them to her and after some hesitation, she decided to go with both. Our fingers brushed slightly and my breathing slightly hitched at the warmth and softness just emanating from her. I tried not to make it noticeable, but my unknown desire for her to touch me came through. She simply smirked, took the tape, and concluded, “Finally, I need some rope.” We walked to the rope and once she specified she wanted natural filament, I instantly went for the black rope. She saw the color and reached out to hold my wrist. Her hand was strong but not hurtful and I couldn’t help myself from snapping my head to the side with wide eyes, most of my confidence leaving my body. I looked her up and down to see a new shade overtake her. She saw my reaction and her eyes widened slightly before she removed her hand quickly and looked down at the ground. She seemed to be scolding herself for what she did, but I didn’t know why. “I’m sorry Ms. Meyer. I didn’t mean to—”

“Nein Maus. I’m the one who should be sorry. I should’ve told you I needed red rope and not black,” she answered, motioning her head to the red rope above the black one I had. I glanced back and forth between the rope and her as I tried to figure out what I was seeing right then. She kept her eyes downcast and never looked at me, even when I tried to coax her to. Finally, taking her chin between my thumb and forefinger firmly but cautiously, I lifted her gaze to mine. I used a comforting yet dominating tone that seemed to communicate to her. “Ms. Meyer calm down. It’s not your fault. I just assumed you wanted black. Now tell me how much you want.” At this, Luisa followed my instructions and returned to her normal, serious but playful shade. She pointed at the red one and said, “Fifteen yards please.” I measured out what she wanted and used the hot knife to cut and seal the rope ends. Like she was sensing some need to fill the dead air between us, she interjected with, “Were you a Girl Scout?”

I looked at her incredulously before answering, “No. Group activities aren’t my thing.” We began to head up to the register where I’d check her out and she continued to talk to me.

“Then what is your thing?” When did this become a Q & A about me?

“Music. More specifically, producing it.” I walked behind the counter and began ringing her things up. She considered what I said for a moment before she continued, “What kind of music?”

“I prefer _producing_ songs that are like electro-pop, but I love _listening_ to alternative, though I can appreciate the classics.” I finished ringing her items up and began to bag them when a co-worker of mine, Donald, came up behind me and held my waist. “Do you need some help with that, Bec?” he asked, coming closer into my proximity. I glanced up at him before declining and watching him walk away with a vague sense of fear surrounding him. I looked back to Luisa to see a warning glance fade from her. Was she jealous of Donald? Did she somehow feel in competition with him for me? Doubt it, but I liked to entertain the thought. “How is the article coming along?” Luisa asked, changing the subject again. I slid the bag across the counter to her with her items, then totaled her order. “Stacie says it’s coming along fine. She’s just sad she doesn’t have any original stills of you. Credit or Debit?”

“Oh. Debit and if she wants, I’m free tomorrow,” she said, handing me her card. I swiped her card, had her enter the PIN, and stared at her.

“You’d be willing to do photographs?”

“Ja, Maus. Think about it. Call me when you’ve made up your mind.” She handed me her business card as I handed her her debit card and examined its contents. So smooth from the lamination and so warm from her hand. “Thank you, I’m sure she’d love it.” I stared at her while she turned to walk out the door. But just before she left completely, she stopped, looked over her shoulder, and told me, “By the way Maus, I’m glad Miss Conrad couldn’t do the interview.”

********

I pondered over what Luisa meant by her statement the rest of the time I was at work that day and once I got home, Stacie was basically all over me. That girl could tell what happened. So after an awkward phone call Stacie so rudely eavesdropped on and a lot of convincing for Jesse, Stacie, Jesse, Travis (his assistant) and I were at Luisa’s hotel for the photo shoot the next morning. I drove everyone in Keith while Stacie drove the equipment in her car. The time was nine in the morning because I scheduled the shoot for nine thirty, which meant we had thirty minutes to get everything set up before Luisa showed up. Stacie was leading this show as usual and ordered people around. “Jesse, get the camera ready. Travis, handle the lights, and Beca . . . get some refreshments and Meyer here.” I followed her instructions and walked out to the main lobby of the suite Stacie managed to get us so I could call for some refreshments. Sooner rather than later, Luisa walked in with a taller man behind her who was dark haired, about her age, and in a black suit. She wore a white shirt and accompanying grey pants with slightly heeled boots. Her sleeves were rolled up to her elbows, her watch on her left wrist, and her shirt was unbuttoned enough to expose her collarbones and part of her chest. I found myself attracted to that particular spot of her simply because of how simple it looked. Tanned skin slightly damp from the shower and seemingly warm to the touch.

Her hair was now air drying from her shower but was pulled back in a messy, yet perfect bun with hair framing her face. She also wore her glasses and the same silver earring balls I first saw her in. She appeared to be a morning person because she had this natural radiance about her as she approached me. “Why hello Maus. Lovely to see you again,” she greeted, her voice caressing her words as a way to fluster me. It obviously worked because I didn’t respond and only motioned to Stacie with the color rising to my cheeks again. “This is—” Stacie cut me off when she lightly pushed me aside and held out her hand to Luisa. “Hi, I’m Stacie Conrad. I know you’ve already met Becs here.” Luisa looked mildly triggered at the sudden change of pace but went along with it. The blonde took Stacie’s hand in hers and shook it politely. The way Luisa went along with everything Stacie asked her to took my breath away and I silently wished I was the cause of Luisa’s submission. Luisa walked over to the spot where she was supposed to stand and faced Jesse when he asked her to. “I forgot to mention. This is Jesse Swanson. He’s the photographer,” I piped in, stepping up next to Jesse. Jesse smiled widely at me then looked back at Luisa who had a reminiscent shade of what she did the day before.

Her sterling grey gaze sharpen to complete silver as she watched Jesse’s interaction with me. Again, I wondered if it was jealousy because he was very friendly with me and I didn’t think she could pick up on the signs that I was clearly attracted to her or else she wouldn’t be this way right now. “Mr. Swanson,” Luisa nodded rigidly. Jesse responded likewise more out of awkwardness than nerves. To test my small theory, I moved away from Jesse and toward Stacie who was on the other side of the room. As soon as I stopped next to her, Stace gripped my arm out of excitement. “My God, Beca. She won’t stop staring at you. I really think she likes you,” she whispered, seeing me lock eyes with the blonde for about the sixth time. I blushed at the thought and gauged Luisa’s reaction. I assumed she saw the grip on my arm and the blush I got after Stacie whispered to me and thought the same thing about Stacie. Her gaze switched back and forth between Jesse and Stacie, giving the same steely look. I broke away from Stacie and stood alone between them. Luisa’s stare centered on me and softened up at me alone. A smile played on her lips as she stood with her hands half in her pockets, thumbs exposed. She leaned on one leg to allow the other to bend slightly before being asked to sit down for a few more photos. She sat on the stool, her gaze still on me, then placed her hands on her thighs casually like they were constantly there.

A few more photos later, Jesse thanked Luisa for her time and so did Stacie a thousand times more than he. I could tell Luisa wanted to get out of the suite but I didn’t expect her to say, “Follow me, Maus.” She stopped in the middle of the hall outside and waited for me with the man she came with. “I’ll call you later, Pieter,” she said to him, revealing his name. Pieter nodded his head and walked down the hall away from us. Luisa then turned to me with a serious look on her face and I expected her to scold me for some unknown reason. All she did was step closer and ask, “Would you join me for coffee?” Was she asking me out? Oh my God, a date with Luisa Meyer? The woman I can’t stop dreaming about? I wanted to say yes so badly but I had obligations to attend to. “I have to drive everyone home,” I whispered, fiddling with my hands.

“Are based at the university? Because we have a 4 x 4 that Pieter can drive them and the equipment back.” Luisa motioned for Pieter and the man was back by her side in seconds, which made me react quicker than I thought. “Wait. That’s not necessary. Let me trade cars with Stacie quickly.” I walked back into the suite, found Stacie, and explained the situation to her. For the first time ever, she was speechless. I guessed she couldn’t believe what I was asked because the first thing she did was bring me into the empty bedroom and tell me, “She’s gorgeous, I see that. But, I think she’s dangerous for someone like you.” When my confused stare urged her to expand, she huffed out a breath and then finished, “You? An innocent. Beca, you’re still a virgin.”

“I know, but Stacie, you’re overreacting. It’s just coffee. I won’t be long.” She seemed to consider my reasoning for a second before fishing out her keys and handing them to me. I gave her the keys to Keith, then went back to the hall where Luisa was waiting for me. Pieter had left to run some errands he had to do which left Luisa alone. She saw I was ready and began walking down the hall toward the elevators. When the doors opened, there was a couple in a passionate embrace with hands roaming bodies and sexual desire just seeping from them. They broke apart awkwardly, the two men standing side by side with red faces, and tried to cover their obvious erections. I wanted to tell them, “It’s okay. We both like girls and I know you’re gay.” Instead, the blonde and I stepped in the metal box with little space between us. I could feel the heat radiating from Luisa, but didn’t notice the way she kept inching toward me like she wanted to do something with me. It wasn’t until we reached the bottom floor that I knew what she was doing.

I suddenly found her fingers interlaced with mine and she was pulling me out of the elevator and through the busy lobby. I couldn’t believe it. Luisa Meyer was holding my hand and I was falling apart at the thought. She noticed how flushed I got at the action and reassured me, “Calm down, Maus. It’s only my hand.” We pushed out the door and walked the four blocks to the nearest coffee shop where Luisa held the door open for me. Only then did she let go of my hand. “You find a table. I’ll get the drinks. What would you like?” she offered.

“Um . . . Lady Earl Grey tea. Bag in with sugar.” She tilted her head to the side in confusion.

“I’m not keen on coffee.” She nodded her understanding before going to stand in the small line. I sat down at the nearest table for two and watched Luisa carefully. Now that her hair was dry, she reached up and pulled out the alligator clip holding her hair together. Her hair cascaded down her shoulders and back without a care until she ran her fingers through it and draped it over one shoulder with a wave effect near the top of her head. She still wore her glasses halfway up her gently arched nose and silver ball earrings, which added natural beauty to her already flawless face. I found it hard not to stare at her as she searched the cafe for something. That’s when she locked eyes with me. I was instantly paralyzed by her stare alone and she knew she could play that to her advantage . . . so she did. Her tongue peeked out to moisten her lips slightly before she pulled her lower one in for a small bite. A small gasp escaped me at the sight but she didn’t stop there. She broke eye contact for a second to stretch upwards and in doing this, she pressed her chest against her shirt. Tiny peaks revealed themselves under her shirt and I knew she wasn’t wearing a bra. I froze in an instant at the realization of my wandering thoughts.

I snapped out of them when Luisa sat down across from me with a small tray. She had gotten my tea, her coffee with the intricate milk design on top, and a blueberry muffin for herself. “Thinking of something?” she asked, an eyebrow arched sensually. Her voice, my God her voice, her voice was low with high quips to accent her German like grace notes in music. I certainly couldn’t tell her I was thinking about what lied underneath the thin silk shirt she was wearing. She just continued to stare at me curiously in a sexual way as if she thought I had experience in the flirting field. “No-um. I wasn’t thinking about you—I mean, I wasn’t thinking about anything,” answered, staring awkwardly down at my tea. She chuckled, glanced around her, and simply continued the conversation as she took sips of her coffee between lines. “It’s fine Maus. So . . . is he your boyfriend?”

This caught my attention. I snapped my gaze up to her and asked, “Who? Jesse? Hell, no. He’s more like family.” She seemed to accept my response but still had some doubts.

“Is the guy I saw yesterday your boyfriend?”

“Are you talking about Donald? No . . . he’s the brother of the owner so no. That’s weird. I don’t know why you’d ask that.”

“You just seem nervous around men.” She looked me directly in the eyes and I thought her eyes looked like liquid mercury with how grey and emotion full they appeared. That one look made me question if her earlier statement of not having a heart was actually true or if it was just a cover-up for a possible heartbreak underneath. The thought became too much for me so I just averted my gaze even further down onto my lap and continued talking like nothing was wrong. “It’s not that. I find you intimidating and I’m just awkward around everyone. Especially you . . . you gorgeous specimen.”

Her laughter was needed to lighten the heavy mood I got from thinking of her hurt. I didn’t know why I felt the way I did, but I couldn’t stop myself. Something was pulling me toward her and I couldn’t stop it. She reached out and cupped my cheek again to pull my focus back to her. She lightly caressed my cheek with the pad of her thumb and slowly eyed my face with the grey of her irises before she cracked a small smile. “You really shouldn’t find me intimidating. I don’t bite . . . much,” she chuckled, “And you’re very honest so please don’t look down. I like to see your face because it gives me a clue as to what you’re thinking. You’re such a mystery to me, Miss Mitchell.” I couldn’t stop myself from leaning into her touch slightly as she gazed at me through her rectangular glasses so perfectly placed on her face. “How am _I_ a mystery?”

“I don’t know that much about you besides where you work.” She removed her hand and I desperately wanted her to touch me again for some reason. “I mean, I know you’re self-contained. Except when you blush, that is, which seems to be more often than not.” At that instant, I blushed scarlet while she smiled and took a bite of her muffin. I took a sip of my tea to prevent her from being able to tease me for my discoloration. “Why haven’t you asked me to call you by your first name?” I thought aloud. I realized this after she called me Miss Mitchell and I didn’t correct her. She looked surprised to be asked the question but responded anyway.

“Only my family and a few close friends use my first name and that’s how I like it.” Once that air cleared, she asked me a bunch of questions about my family. I thought she was being a bit intrusive but she gave me a certain look that hinted at the “gay” question I asked her the week before. I knew the question wasn’t mine, but I still asked it. I explained to her my father’s romanticisms with his four spouses in the entirety of my lifetime and the whole deal with my other father Raymond. When I asked her about her family, she simply answered, “My father’s a lawyer, mother a pediatrician. Older sister Aubrey works in construction, the directing not building, and younger sister Jessica currently studying in Paris under some renowned chef.”

“I hear Paris is beautiful,” I peeped, just reacting to what she said.

“Would you like to go?” Was she propositioning me or something?

“Honestly, no, Ms. Meyer. I’d much rather see Germany or Austria, the homes of the fathers of classical music. You know, Bach, Beethoven, and Mozart.” Mentioning music reminded me that I needed to hurry home to study for my finals. My eyes widened exponentially and I stood rapidly, mildly alerting Luisa. I’m pretty sure she assumed I needed to go and she stood up with me after taking a final bite of her muffin. “Is Miss Conrad’s car at the hotel parking lot?” she asked quickly, looking at me directly.

“Yeah, sorry for alarming you. I just need to study.”

“That’s fine, Maus. You need to graduate.” She took my hand again and began pulling me out into the busy street. My heart pounded faster and faster at the soft contact from the seemingly hard woman as we progressed down the street. “Thanks for the tea,” I quipped, noticing how deep in thought she was. She shook her head slightly before turning to look at me. We were almost at the hotel and were just waiting for the crosswalk to become available.

“You’re welcome, Maus. It was my pleasure.”

Then, out of nowhere, my mouth formulated the question, “Do you have a girlfriend?” What the hell is wrong with me?! Why did I ask that? The emotion drained from her face momentarily and she became solid and dispassionate. Her response was straight-forward and matter-of-fact. “I don’t do the girlfriend thing, Maus. My tastes are very . . . singular.” What was that supposed to mean? Quite honestly, I was done with her cryptic answers and refusal to open up slightly to me so I was going to leave. I turned away from her and started to walk away only to be caught in a dangerous situation. A biker was heading right for me and I didn’t see it. Luisa apparently did because she yelled, “Damnit, Beca!” Everything else happened so fast. Luisa tightened her grip on my hand, pulled me back to her, and held me against her tightly. Her strong arms around my small body held me with a tenacity that suggested some form of care inside her. That was probably why I didn’t push away immediately. My hands situated close to her chest and my face landed in her chest. I looked up from the valley of her chest to see nothing but concern in her eyes. Her lips were parted as she heaved breaths and reached up to cup my cheek. She caressed my face gently and I was internally begging for her to kiss me. I wanted to feel her lips on mine.

Then like she was reading my mind, she shook her head and closed her eyes. When she opened them again, I could see small tears in her grey eyes like she made a decision she hated. Her breath was shaky as she stated, “You sh- . . . You should steer clear of me, Beca. I’m not the woman for you. B-But you need to breathe because I’m going to let you go now.” I breathed in sharply and she slowly released me. I knew something was wrong with her because she had tears threatening to overflow and her breathing was uneven, but she blinked the tears away as if she was forcing the emotion back inside her. I was trying not to show the hurt I was feeling inside, but I couldn’t stop the tears from forming in my eyes. She saw them and tried to reach out for me, but I took a step back and told her, “It’s fine. I’ve got it. Thanks for saving my life.”

At this point, she sounded like she was begging me to stay, despite her obviously rejecting me just then. “He was riding the wrong way, Maus. I’m glad I was here. I’d hate myself forever if I let anything like that happen to you.” Instead of giving her a proper response to what she said, I turned away and began walking across the street. She followed me until we got across and stopped at the corner. I faced her one last time without looking her in the face and wrapped my arms around myself. “Thanks for the tea and for doing the photo shoot.” I began walking away again, but she gently caught me by the arm.

“Um . . . Beca?”

“What?” She released me reluctantly like she was going back on what she wanted to do.

“Uh . . . g-good luck with your exams.” I thought she was crazy, but I looked into her eyes one last time. Her hurt was written clearly across her irises, but I didn’t care. I tore myself away from her and hunted down Stacie’s car in the parking garage. I could vaguely hear her scold herself as I walked away, saying, “What the fuck is wrong with you? Why would you do that?” When I knew I was out of sight in Stacie’s car, I broke down in tears. The first person I wanted to kiss me rejected me and I didn’t know how to handle it. I decided to just head home before I was spotted and started the car. I didn’t get two steps into the apartment before Stacie knew something was wrong. She tried questioning me about it, but I gave her answers that lacked detail. After I studied for hours, I went to sleep.

That night, I had another dream. All I could hear was, “I don’t do the girlfriend thing.” All I could see was teary grey eyes, long blonde hair, and me running. I was running through a dark place with ominous fluorescent lighting. I couldn’t tell if I was running into it or away from it, but I knew I had someone to save. I could hear their helpless whimpering, begging to be helped out, yet they keep suppressing their voice. Or someone else is . . .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> F O R E S H A D O W I N G ! ! ! ! !


	4. Chapter 4

**Luisa**

 

I was a fucking idiot. A complete dummkopf. How could I have been so stupid to agree to that interview? If I hadn’t done that interview, I wouldn’t be sitting in my hotel suite and worrying about what has happened to Maus. I barely saved her last time and only God knew what would happen to her. To just clear this up, I needed to finally admit it. I needed to finally admit it. At least to myself. She looks exactly like her. Maus looks exactly like that woman who almost single-handedly destroyed my life. From the moment she stepped in my office, I hadn’t been right. I tortured myself nearly every night with the mental image of her. And it didn’t help when I found out she was bisexual and also single. Great. Another life for  _ me _ to destroy with how fucked up I’ve become. For Christ’s sakes, I had even imagined what it would be like for Miss Mitchell to fully dominate me and put me in my place. Where I was meant to be. She saw me as intimidating though really, I found her intimidating. That single moment in the hardware store when she had a spark of confidence inside her just created more chaos in my mind. I was flooded with dark fantasies of her holding me down as she pleasured me or of her tying me up as she forced me to pleasure her. Forced wasn’t the right word so much as commanded would be because that was the thing no one understood. BDSM was based on trust and agreement on limits.

In recent days, those fantasies had been forcefully torn apart when I saw the romantic lust in Beca’s eyes after coffee. I had already ruined enough lives because they wanted more than sex and I wasn’t going to let that happen to Beca, especially since she seemed so innocent. I snapped my gaze from my computer screen to listen in to what my sister Aubrey was saying. She was rambling on about God knew what with her work while I was trying to distract myself from the thought of Beca. The thought alone was enough to get me off by this point. After the hardware store incident, I had tied my one hand down with a tie and actually touched myself until I was satisfied. Or in other words, I masturbated until I was humiliated with myself for continuing to pursue the brunette. Outwardly, I was ashamed of myself, though, on the inside, I knew that was what I craved and what would ultimately show to Beca if we went any further with our relationship. I kept trying to get away from her, but I simply couldn’t. She reminded me too much of  _ her. _ I couldn’t take it anymore. I shook my head to clear my head while Aubrey finished her complaining. “Definitely. You need to change professions,” I stated, pretending I was listening. Aubrey shot me a look that said, “I knew you weren’t listening.” I was about to apologize when my phone rang. It was Maus.

“Beca?” I answered, shushing Aubrey with a hand. Her mouth dropped open with a scoff and, “Excuse me?”

“H-Hey, Ms. Meyer.” Her speech sounded slurred and a lot slower than the typical ranting, which alerted me. “W-Why did you send me that sheet music?” she continued. I had sent her some of the first copies of Beethoven’s and Mozart’s most famous symphonies as an apology for what happened after coffee and as a warning to just stay away from me. She clearly didn’t understand that. Sure, the music cost fifteen thousand dollars, but then again, I made that in about half an hour. “Beca, are you alright? You sound drunk.”

“I’m not drunk . . . I meeeeerely had about four tequila cocktails and another shot of vodka. What’s it to you?” she drunkenly giggled.

“I’m . . . curious. Where are you?” I half-lied, fear striking a chord inside me.

“In a bar. In Savannah. Far away from Atlanta, that’s for sure.” Little did she know, I was still at my hotel in Savannah.

“Beca. How are you getting home?”

“I’m shhhhuuuuuure I’ll find a way.”

“Beca, so help me, where the fuck are you?!” I involuntarily raised my voice at her, catching the attention of Aubrey.

“Good night, Luuuu!”

“Beca!” With that, she hung up. Goddamnit, she was drunk and I didn’t even know where. I opened a new tab on my laptop quickly and tracked her phone. To my luck, she was less than four blocks away, well within running distance. My heart was unknowingly pounding out of my chest as I redialed her number and waited for her to pick up. “Hello?” She seemed to be drunker than before and I was eager to get to her. I stood up, phone clamped between my shoulder and ear, and swung my leather jacket around to pull it onto my body. “I’m coming to get you,” I said tersely, hanging up immediately. I memorized her location and took off in my black polo, jeans, and black hi-top Converse. Aubrey followed me, but she wasn't as fast as I was. Not wanting to wait for the elevator, I pushed through the door to the stairs and basically jumped down flights of stairs. I only stopped three floors down when Aubrey yelled, “Luisa! Slow down!” She was lagging about a flight and a half behind me and I impatiently waited for her to run her ass down next to me. She reached me and we hurried down the stairs to the lobby. I ran my hand through my hair a few times to calm myself and checked my watch on my left wrist. 9:23. Damnit. Not surprisingly, my watch had a black leather band with a plain face, but this was a gift from my mother, Grace. She was always caring because she was just that kind of person. But I could never tell her what I had become and because of who. One woman destroyed me mentally, the other turned me into a pain-craving sex fiend.

We got out to the street and on impulse, I began running in the direction of Beca. Aubrey once again yelled my name, but I didn’t care. Something inside me was pressing me on to see if Maus was okay. I ran three blocks before I stopped, barely out of breath. I glanced around and saw the small woman across the street. She was in the arms of that photographer from last week and i vaguely remembered his name. Jasper? No. Justin? Nope. Je-Jesse! That’s what it was. Well, Jesse was obviously kissing Beca in places I had only imagined at this point and I wasn’t having that. I made sure the road was okay to cross before running to Beca’s situation. As I neared, I could hear the conversation. “Jesse, stop!” she pleaded, but he wasn’t giving up. He leaned in to kiss her lips, but she kept saying, “No, Jesse! Stop!” I couldn’t control myself at this point so I stepped forward and pushed him away with a firm hand on his chest. “I believe the lady said no!” I shouted, anger boiling in my head. Both people looked surprised to see me, Beca more so, but Jesse looked offended. “Meyer,” was all he said before he wandered back into the bar. Beca appeared so confused and dizzy that I knew she was about to throw up. I held her hair back as she doubled over instantly and let the contents of her stomach pour out in front of me. For a small woman, she does heave a lot. She puked about three times before she was dry heaving. I reached into my pocket and pulled out a handkerchief to hand to her.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, wiping her mouth. I held her up in my arms as Aubrey came up to us. I directed her inside where I assumed Miss Conrad was and took Beca inside with me. I made her drink a glass of water while I went to tell Aubrey of my plan to take Beca back to my hotel so I could watch her. Aubrey nodded and told Stacie what was going on. When I saw the tall girl smile and wave to Beca, I knew it was okay to leave. I got back to Beca and not even two seconds after I set her up, she passed out in my arms. I picked her up bridal style and carried her over to her table where I grabbed her jacket and purse quickly. I carried her back to my hotel hurriedly and tried not to focus on how helpless she looked in my arms. She looked too much like  _ her _ . I rode the elevator back up instead of taking the stairs and as soon I got to my suite, I laid her on the couch for a second. I called Pieter for a second to have him pick up some new clothes for Beca since her pants wouldn’t be clean by the morning. For now, I had to worry about getting her to bed. Seeing the vomit stains on her pants and nowhere else, I decided to just take those off. I cautiously unbuttoned her jeans and pulled them down her slim legs. Her thighs were a pure pale and I had to concentrate on helping her so I wasn’t dragged back to the depths of my mind. I picked her up again and carried her to my bed.

At first, I wasn’t too keen on sharing my bed, but when I saw how cute she looked when she curled up in my sheets, I couldn’t stop the smile that cracked. Then I realized how innocent she must’ve been to be this cute without a single dark spot to her and I knew this had to stop. I was going to give her tonight, but after that, I had to give her up. I sighed and got ready for bed. I wore opposite of what she was wearing, pants with no shirt and undergarments. I crawled in next to her awkwardly and kept a distance. My back was to her as I deeply breathed to keep calm and stop myself from crying profusely. Suddenly, I felt her body pressed against my back and her arm wrapped around my waist. My God, she was spooning me. I wanted to check to see if she was awake but I knew she just had to be a cuddler. Great. I tried to ignore it and closed my eyes to the dark.

********

My lungs were on fire. I pressed on anyway. I needed to get everything off my mind. Work, Beca, and  _ her _ . I focused on the aching of my muscles more than anything else and that worked for a while before I had to leave. I finished my workout in my grey sweats and sleeveless tee before collecting my bag and heading back to the room. I had set a couple of Advil out for Beca with a glass of orange juice for the headache she was bound to have after the amount she drank so I hoped she took them. The clothes Pieter bought for her were sitting in the bag on the coffee table. I grabbed them and went to the bedroom. I knocked on the door twice, though I didn’t get a response. I walked in anyway to see Beca sitting up in bed in what I left her in last night. She seemed confused by her presence in my room and couldn’t say anything. So I began. “Good morning. How are you feeling?”

“Better than I deserve.” She looked down into her lap awkwardly like she was embarrassed and played with her fingers. I set both my bag and the bag of clothes down on the nearest chair before going over to her. I sat on the edge of the bed as she asked me various questions. “How did I get here?”

I lifted her head gently with two fingers under her chin. “After you passed out, I brought you here since I didn’t think you’d make it on your own at home.”

“Did you undress me?” Her eyes were wide and slightly worried.

“Yes. I had to. Your pants were splattered with vomit.” She blushed drastically at the idea of me seeing her naked then moved her legs away from me. They were still under the blanket, but she seemed uncomfortable. Another thought hit her and she instantly asked, “Did we? You know?”

“No, Beca. We didn’t. You were unconscious. I’m not into somnophilia. I prefer my women responsive and sentient.” I also added in my mind, “With a whip and blindfold.” The thought made me chuckle a bit, and I thought she took it that I was laughing at her because she looked away again and blushed harder. Damnit, I didn’t mean to make her feel bad. I shifted again and I was in a vulnerable state. I cupped her hot cheek again, looked into her eyes, and coaxed, “What is it, Maus? Did I say something?”

“N-No. It’s not you. I just . . . should have known better. I should’ve eaten something, but I didn’t. And I put myself in a compromising position. I should really thank you for saving me.” I needed to rectify this situation immediately and while I wasn’t aiming to fluster her, I ended up doing just that. On the plus side, she did seem to calm down. I inched closer and closer to her until she finally fell back on the bed and I was hovering over her. I straddled her tiny waist but kept our bodies at arm's length to keep the promise I made to myself. I brushed some hair out of her face as I felt her hands grip my waist tightly and told her, “Well, if I was yours, I shouldn’t be able to sit down for a week for allowing you to get so shitfaced.” I switched focus from each of her eyes and simply continued, “I let you put yourself at risk. I’m the one who should be sorry.” Unconsciously, I glanced down at her hands which were nearing the waistband on my sweats and bit my lip. I felt a pang of want in my clit and bit my lip to counteract that, but she just took over the situation. She lifted a hand to my face, ran her thumb over my bitten lip, and whispered, “I want to bite that lip for you.”

God, how I wouldn’t have minded that at all. I stopped breathing entirely for it was stolen by the Maus beneath me, but I had to live to see the end of this. She reached up and pulled my hair out of the ponytail it was in. She ran her fingers through my loose and sweaty hair that she found attractive because she took a deep breath and said, “Your sweat smells like cinnamon. I could do this forever.” There it was again. That romantic lust in her eyes. I had to get out of this situation and fast. I nervously jumped up out of her reach and stood by the bathroom door. “I’m going to take a shower. You can take one after I’m finished or before if you want,” I told her, keeping my face as straight as I wasn’t. The throbbing in my clit grew stronger by seeing her control over me and I wasn’t going to give her any indication that she had that kind of control over me out of fear that she’d want to relieve it for me. She simply turned on her side, which pulled the blanket down enough to expose her upper thighs, and kindly responded, “You can take one now. It doesn’t matter to me.” I made my face as impassive as I could and swallowed hard. I nodded my head rigidly and pushed my way into the bathroom. She couldn’t do this to me. She shouldn’t be doing this to me. I ran my hands over my face and through my hair. I needed a cold shower. I needed to get rid of this desire. I undressed and stepped into the freezing rain of the shower to hopefully calm myself down, but it didn’t work.

I was stupid to bring her here. I had to get her out of here before I did something drastic. I had already been asleep with her, had already been held by her, and had already been seduced by her. Well, half-seduced because we didn’t have sex, no matter how much I wanted to. If we were going to continue this relationship, she had to know the ground rules. And number one was that she couldn’t tell anyone of what we do. As the first draft of the contract was being mentally written, I felt myself calm down at the control I had. I turned the water back up to warm and finished my shower. I stepped out and dried my hair, body, and limbs with my towel before getting half dressed. I had a set of undergarments laid out for myself and put those on. When I walked into the bedroom again, towel drying my hair, I saw Beca out of bed. She still only had a shirt, bra, and underwear on, but she seemed to be looking for her pants. “They’re in the laundry,” I pointed out, watching her scramble out of surprise. She turned to me, nodded her head, and refuted, “Yeah, I knew that. I was just . . . looking for a towel! Yeah, I was . . . looking for a towel.” I walked to my dresser on the other side of the room, opened the second drawer down, and pulled out a shirt to wear. I motioned my head toward the bag I set down when I came in and told her, “Those are for you. I had Pieter go out last night and buy some clothes.” She glanced into the bag for a second before asking, “Are these brand new?”

“Yes, Beca. Now go shower and get dressed. I need to get you home.” More for my sake than hers. I pulled out a pair of mildly ripped skinny jeans and began to dress. She watched me cautiously as I pulled my pants on. I knew because I could feel her heated gaze drag down my body even with my back turned to her. So to get her to focus, I turned around to put my dark blue v-neck. My arms went over my head, which pressed my breasts together, and a slight scolding expression adorned my face. She caught sight of both and nearly sprinted to the bathroom for a shower. I knew I had some control over her because if I lost that, I’d be gone with the wind. The shirt I wore was tight around my chest and loose closer to my waist, but was short enough to tease at my stomach when I moved a certain way. I found some simple earrings, dangle silver twisted rhombuses, and put those in while slipping into my open toed heels that added a good three inches to my height. I buckled them and before long, Beca walked out of the bathroom fully dressed. I smiled at her, she stood awkwardly, and we headed out to the living area. We had a quick breakfast before leaving again. I had ordered  _ Charlie Tango _ for this evening since Maus had a few questions that could only be answered if I had shown her. So that’s what was to happen this evening. I was going to show her the start of how fucked up I am.

I pressed the button down on the elevator to call it up and was surprised to find it empty. We climbed in and I could feel my heart beat faster. I knew something was going to happen, I just didn’t expect her to do it. As soon as the doors closed, Beca had pushed me against one of the walls by the hips and kissed me fiercely like she had been suppressing the feeling for a while. She also tasted like vanilla mint. She must’ve used my toothbrush. I pushed her away slightly to tell her, “Wait. I’m not allowed to touch you without your written consent.” Her annoyed face mesmerized me because it held all of the frustration she felt with this situation that she wanted to take out on me. I couldn’t have been more turned on. She simply took my arms and held them above my head with one hand as she leaned up to harshly whisper in my ear, “Then you don’t get to touch me so fuck your paperwork.” I couldn’t speak. Her dominance left me speechless and I could only submit to what she did. We passed the sixteenth floor and I realized how slow this elevator was. Beca nestled her way in between my legs and attacked my lips with desperate kisses. Her tongue found its way into my mouth and claimed my mouth as hers with how she mapped every inch. The wetness between my legs was becoming too much to handle and I started to grind against whatever I could find, which was Beca’s stomach.

As if she could sense my sexual desire, she positioned her hips so the protruding part of her hip bone pressed into my core for me to have something to go off on. I didn’t know if she was doing this consciously, or if she was responding to me, but her hips began to grind into mine. Her kisses trailed up the side of my jaw and she latched onto my earlobe. She pulled at the earring I had in, causing me to moan lightly, and continued to suck at my pulse point. “God . . . you’re so beautiful,” she whispered, her hand sliding underneath my shirt. My head fell back against the wood paneling of the elevator and I didn’t think she realized it, but when her hand briefly entered my waistband, I came. I didn’t scream, I was too aware to do that. My release was simple and short with a small grunt as the  _ scream _ . That’s when the elevator stopped and the door dinged. Within seconds, Beca was away from me and composed. My face heated up slightly as three men walked in like they knew what we were just doing and I looked anywhere but them. I ran my fingers through my hair a few times before looking to Beca, who was uncharacteristically smirking at me devilishly. She sidestepped closer to me, held my hand, then whispered so only I could hear, “You even taste sweet like a cinnamon roll.” I couldn’t stop the quiet laugh I had as I remembered her earlier comment of how my sweat smelled of cinnamon.

Soon enough, we arrived at the ground floor and everyone stepped out of the elevator, but Beca began to drag me. I caught up with her and directed her to my car to take her home. We climbed into the SUV and started on the way to her apartment with a couple of calls from various people, including Andrea about the Non-Disclosure Agreement and Aubrey about my night. It was obvious her and Miss Conrad had slept together or else she wouldn’t have asked me if I had sex. Beca was thoroughly embarrassed by her roommate, but I found Miss Conrad to be quite endearing of her friend. When we arrived, Aubrey and Miss Conrad were sitting at the dining room table and Miss Conrad had a ridiculous grin on her face I internally cringed at. Miss Conrad stood and hugged Beca excitedly. “Hey, Becs!” the tall woman squealed, holding Maus at arm’s length. Miss Conrad examined her friend before looking to me oddly. “Good morning, Luisa.” Her tone was hostile in the slightest and I felt the need to slowly back out. “Miss Conrad.”

“Luisa, her name is Stacie,” Aubrey scolded, walking up behind  _ Stacie _ . Aubrey hugged Stacie around the waist and teased at her waistband right in front of both me and Beca. I remembered Beca’s hands under my shirt and just inside my jeans and squirmed uncomfortably. I looked anywhere but my sister’s hands and bit down hard on my lip to calm myself. I thought no one saw me, but Beca took some notice.

How I knew was because while Aubrey and Stacie were giving their goodbye kisses, Beca simply turned around, stuck her hands in my back pockets, and placed a gentle kiss to my lips. “That’s all you get until tonight,” she whispered in my ear, biting my earlobe again. Before I knew it, she had left my person and Bree was finished with her canoodling. Feeling my confidence return, I stared hard at Bree and told her, “C’mon, Bree. We have to go.” The blonde sighed, but collected her bag and gave Stacie one last kiss. She cupped the taller’s cheek and promised, “Laters, baby.” Aubrey got one more lingering kiss in before she walked out of the apartment while continuing to blow kisses. I knew I had to get one more kiss from Maus because I couldn’t hold out until tonight. I stepped forward, held her face in my hands, and kissed her quickly. “Laters baby,” I repeated, feeling a stupid smile come on my face. Beca scrunched her face up as I pulled away and walked out the door, pulling it shut. I walked down the hall to catch up to Aubrey, who was waiting for me, and she raised an eyebrow at me. “Have you found an actual girlfriend? Because from the way it looked, you two had done something,” she teased, falling into step beside me. I thought back to the elevator and all that came up was how submissive I felt in Beca’s arms. I could already feel myself falling off of something but I didn’t know what. And I knew I was taking her down a road of darkness, but with the way I was falling, I felt something spark inside me: hope.

It was an old feeling I still hadn’t reconciled, but I knew it had a tricky way of getting into one’s head. Then I had the thought: What if Beca was going to be the one to free me? I continuously told myself I didn’t want a romantic relationship, yet my heart yearned for that love. I purposefully pushed down my own feelings because the last time I opened my heart to someone, I ended up in a hospital half-dead. I subdued the intricate thoughts flooding my head and answered Aubrey’s question. “You have no idea . . . “ But then again, neither did I.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to post yesterday, sorry. But this is long and . . . well . . . dirty (smut).

**Beca**

 

The rest of my day consisted of a few things. The first being what happened in that elevator. The feeling of her skin against mine was probably the hottest thing I’ve ever felt. She was so soft and so warm that I had to taste her. I couldn’t stop myself. An inherent urge and confidence came over me and I didn’t know whether to be scared or be delighted that I had that side of myself. It was something about her that made me act that way, but I was hoping that urge didn’t escalate to new heights. Though I did believe I surprised her with my line about her paperwork, which I was super confused about afterward. Then the way she seemed to climax from me simply brushing the edge of her panties with a few hard presses told me one thing: she wanted me. Luisa Meyer wanted my uncoordinated ass to fuck her. I wanted her to do the same to me no doubt, but the way she submitted to my actions told me she was definitely a bottom, if not that, then preferring bottom. The second thing was the slight pain from Stacie’s scaping of all the hair on my body. Underarms, vagina, all of it. God, that wax hurt. She knew about my date with Luisa that night and made me get primped before having to go to work for a few hours. I was so lost in my thoughts that my boss had to call my name twice to get my attention on separate occasions. The third thing was the overwhelming anxiety of inevitably losing my virginity later that night. I knew what it was like to orgasm (Thanks, Masturbation), but I didn’t know what it was like to have someone else go down on me.

I almost shivered at the thought of Luisa’s soft, delicate fingers inside me. Not out of disgust, but out of pleasure because her hands were already heavenly. I took deep breaths to calm myself and stop the dirty thoughts coming to mind before removing my apron to end my shift. I grabbed my jacket and pulled it on. Just as I was walking out of the store, I was greeted with Luisa in what appeared to be business casual: navy blue sports blazer, skinny jeans, black hi-top Converse, and a dress shirt. I stopped and went to her. “I thought you were picking me up at my apartment?” I asked.

“Well, I thought you deserved a little surprise,” she responded cooly, holding the door open for me. I climbed in the back of the car and said hello to Pieter who was driving. Luisa climbed in next to me and held my hand gently, reflecting the simple smile on her face. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail as she reminded Pieter of where they were going. She was still wearing the earrings from earlier in the day and had the same look in her eyes like her desire was slowly rising. She sat back in her seat and the whole way to our first destination we barely said anything. When we arrived at the heliport, since  _ Charlie Tango _ was apparently a helicopter, I said thanks to Pieter and waited for Luisa to direct me. She took my hand and pulled me to an elevator. It seemed to me, she could read my mind because she told me, “Don’t worry, it’s only three floors.” I was brought back to our last elevator ride and the sensual feel of her lips on mine. Then, the doors opened and we were on the roof of the building. We stepped out and were met with a man at a desk. “Good evening, Ms. Meyer. Your flight plan is here and all external checks have been done. You’re ready to go,” he said, letting Luisa glance at a sheet of paper on the desk.

“Thanks, Joe,” she answered, pulling me out of the building and onto the helipad. The helicopter appeared small from the outside, but once we were inside, I saw that it could seat seven. She told me to sit in the passenger seat to the right of the driver seat and I complied, attempting to strap myself in. I was failing and she could see that so she hurriedly closed the door and came to my aid. She crouched next to me and made me hold my hands up so they weren’t in the way. Her face was inches from mine and I could’ve leaned forward and kissed her if I had enough strength to. I was almost paralyzed with the feeling of her deft fingers tightening the harness on me that I barely responded when she asked me, “Are you alright?” I shook my head to clear my head for a second and told her, “Right as rain, thank you for asking.” She giggled a little before placing a warm kiss to my forehead and getting in her own seat. We put on our headphones and she started the engine. She apparently has been a fully-qualified pilot for four years and has never taken anyone in this besides me. I felt so special, but subconsciously I wondered why.

She went through the whole talking to ground control thing and we were off to Atlanta. The setting was eerily quiet and dark, which I thought could’ve been used for a great metaphor I couldn’t point out. I thanked God that the ride lasted less than an hour because I was freaking out at the fact that she had to fly blind and rely on the instruments on the panel in front of her. The soft glow from the lights of the panel painted her face in a faint green and expressed the complete calm she had. I was in awe of her ability to remain calm in such a situation that requires such focus and concentration. We were soon at our destination that was her house as well and she landed flawlessly. Once the rotary blades stopped spinning, she unbuckled her seat belt and went to get the door open. “Are you coming, Maus?” she teased, opening the door. I snapped out of my reverie and got out of my seat. She jumped out onto the roof of the building and I hesitantly stood on the edge of the helicopter. She laughed at me and walked to me, turning her back to me. I wondered what she was doing until she told me, “Climb on.” She was telling me to climb on her back. “I’m not as small as you may think,” I warned, bracing myself on her shoulders.

“C’mon Maus, I know you’re not that heavy.” I held onto her shoulders and jumped onto her back. She caught me easily and held me underneath the thighs so she could hoist my weight onto her hips. She began walking to the door across the way and all I got was cold wind. I shivered and held tighter to her because she was warm. “Oh, Maus. You tiny little thing,” she observed. She switched one arm underneath my ass while she reached up to type in a passcode for the door that was actually an elevator. That domineering feeling took over again and just as we were stepping into the elevator, I whispered, “Oh Ms. Meyer, you don’t know how feisty I can be.” Then, I nibbled her ear a bit. She was visibly affected because her grip on my legs stiffened and she bit her lip again. I was getting annoyed with how often she did that. I didn’t think she knew it, but every time she bit her lip, I wanted to do  _ something _ . Anything to get rid of the small pang of desire I got every time. “Stop biting your lip. You don’t know what that does to me,” I commanded, my tone as dark as my thoughts. She deeply breathed, swallowed, and released her lip reluctantly. 

She typed in another key code and we descended down a few more floors. The doors opened to what I assumed was her apartment because the foyer was massive and monotone. She put me down after stepping out of the elevator and let me discover places on my own. She went to the kitchen and I wandered the living room. One wall was pure glass that led to a balcony overlooking Atlanta and there was a couch big enough to sit eleven people facing a fireplace with a fire burning. I stood by the fire to warm up a bit and saw everything else. The grand piano across the room, the breakfast bar for six, and the grand kitchen Luisa was currently pouring glasses of white wine in. She recorked the bottle and brought the glasses of wine to where I was standing. She handed me one, lifted a toast, and we sipped our wine for a while. “Do you play?” I asked, suggesting the piano. She smiled, looked at the ground, and answered, “Yeah, I do. Very well, if I say so myself.”

I moved closer to her and raised her head to look at me. I caught her in a loving gaze, her freezing instantly, and watched her blue-grey eyes fluctuate at me. I traced her ear with a few of my fingers before allowing my hand to cup her cheek to see her melt into my touch. “You really are the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen,” I whispered, our faces inches away. I didn’t know whether it was me or her, but I glanced up and down her body to find she had bitten her lip again while avoiding eye contact. She hasn’t bitten her lip more often than now and it was starting to annoy me because I just wanted her to take me, but she continued to tease me with her action. I took her chin between my thumb and forefinger, forced her eyes to mine, and scolded her, “I told you before to stop that. It’s very distracting.” Those domineering moments were becoming more frequent as if I knew what was coming. She seemed to understand what I was saying with an underlying tension within herself because when she stopped, she took another sip of her wine before setting it down on a side table and going to her office. She came back with two papers and a pen. “This is a non-disclosure agreement. It says that you won’t talk about us with anyone,” she explained, laying the papers on the coffee table. I sat down next to her on the couch and took the pen in my hands.

“Why do I need to sign this?”

“My lawyer insists on it if you’re going to continue with this.” With that, I simply signed the dotted lines on both sheets then handed them to Luisa.

“You really should read things before you sign them.” She was admonishing me and I felt a wave of confidence go through me. I stared straight at her and flat out told her my reasoning. “I wouldn’t talk about us to anyone, not even Stacie. So it doesn’t matter if I sign it or not. But if it’s so important to you and your lawyer, whom  _ you _ obviously talk to, then I’ll sign it.” She nodded her head rigidly then admitted, “Fair point.”

“Does this mean you’re going to make love to me now?” Her face flushed of most of her color then she raised her eyebrows.

“First, I don’t make love. I fuck . . . hard. Second, there’s still a lot of paperwork to get through before we do anything. Third, you have no idea what you’re in for. You can still leave if you want. Follow me, I’d like to show you my playroom.” She stood, held her hand out to me, and took control over the situation. There was something about the way she said hard that sent a shot of adrenaline through my veins. But I wondered what she meant by playroom.

“You mean like your Xbox?” I took her hand and stood. She simply laughed and pulled me up the stairs in the foyer.

“No, Maus. My Xbox is in my room. Along with my games. Perhaps we can play Halo: Reach sometime.” I laughed at the specific game, as I had played it several times with Stacie, and watched her produce a key from her pocket.

“Remember, you can leave at any time. The helicopter is on standby—”

“Just open the damn door, Luisa!” She released my hand for a second to unlock the door and push it open. I stepped in front of her to get inside and stopped immediately. The first thing I sensed was the smell. Leather and citrus. An odd, but surprisingly calming scent. Then, I saw what was actually in the room. There was an easily identifiable sex swing across from where I was standing on the wall with a suspended iron grate in the middle of the room. A bed larger than a king was to the right of the room and while it didn’t appear to have bedsheets on it, upon further inspection, a plain white sheet made of presumably silk covered the bed with a couple throw pillows at the head. They canopy above held various cuffs, leather, metal, etc.. A dresser-like structure was behind me and had several drawers too thin to hold clothes, which made me question what was held in them. Luisa stood in the door frame with her eyes intently on me. She was watching for my reaction that I was surprisingly being cryptic about and requested, “Say something. You can ask any question. You already signed the agreement.” I could tell she was a bit scared for my reaction, just in case I left, and I saw her vulnerability come out again.

I went to her, pulled her into the room fully, and held her hands gently. It was then that I noticed the walls and the ceiling were a burgundy red with an unknown lighting source that gave the room a soft glow. She looked at me to await a response so I initially asked, “Have you been doing this for long?”

“Ja. I’ve been like this for quite some time.” Been like this? Like what? Into BDSM? I pushed the question out of my mind to get a good grasp on what I wanted to ask her. I let go of her hands and she followed me throughout the room as I asked questions. “Do you do this to women? Or . . . ?”

“They do this to me.”

“Are you a masochist?” The question seemed to shock her, but she collected herself quickly.

“No, Maus. I’m a Submissive. That means I fully surrender myself to whoever my Dominant is and I’m hoping that’ll be you.”

“Why would you do that?”

“To please you. And me, but that’s secondary.” Please me? She wanted to please me? Oh hell yes.

“How do you do that?”

“There are rules we agree on and I live by them. If I follow them, you can reward me any way you deem fit. If I misbehave, you can punish me.” I glanced around the room at the BDSM toys and settled my eyes back on her.

“And you’d want me to use these to do that?” I motioned to the various items. She chuckled, glanced down a second, and looked back to me.

“Once again, what you see fit. If it so pleases you to use these, then yes. I believe you’ll find that using them is much more rewarding for you.” She had a glint to her eyes that I hadn’t seen in anyone’s eyes, but I was so enraptured by it that I didn’t ask anything else. “Let’s go downstairs. It’s hard for me to see you in here,” she suggested, taking my hand. She led me out of the room, then closed and locked it again. We began to walk downstairs when she snapped her fingers and pulled me back down the hallway. “I almost forgot to tell you, if you agree to this, you’ll get your own room,” she explained, pushing open another door. The room was plain with a simple table, bed, and dresser. I misconstrued what she was telling me as that she’d want me to move in, but she clarified, “You’d sleep here Friday through Sunday and you can decorate it the way you want. Before you ask, I’ll sleep downstairs because I don’t like sleeping with anyone.” I nodded my head vaguely and she closed the door. We went back downstairs to her office where she sat on the edge of her desk and I sat in a chair in front of her. She handed me a couple of papers and told me, “These are the base rules and limits for me. You can change either, but all changes must be discussed with me.”

On the first document, which were the rules, the last line was:  **_Failure to comply with the above rules by the Submissive will result in immediate punishment by the Dominant._ **

“So, what if I don’t want to punish you?” I asked, looking to Luisa.

“If you don’t punish me, then what’s the point of having the rules?” She had a fair point. There was no point to having rules if they weren’t going to be enforced. That was non-negotiable. Then I read the other paper. These were the limits she had. They were pretty obvious like, “No activities involving children or animals,” and, “No activities involving defecation, urination, or the products thereof,” but I understood the need to make that obvious.

“These are only part of the contract that you can read as well. But, is there anything you’d like to add to that list?” she continued.

“I wouldn’t know.” Time came to tell her.

“What do you mean?” she narrowed her eyes at me in confusion.

“Well . . . I haven’t exactly . . . had sex. Before.” Her eyes shot open wide and her face drained of all color she had. She swallowed hard, stood up, and walked away from me.

“Why . . . didn’t you fucking tell me?!” she screamed, turning around. I knew she was surprised to hear it, but I had to tell her. I stood up and went to her.

“The subject never really came up. But . . . are you mad at me?” She looked down at the ground, breathed deeply, and released it slowly.

“No, I’m angry with myself. I just assumed . . . “ She unconsciously bit her lip out of embarrassment and I felt the same pang again. I lifted her gaze to mine and softly told her, “You’re biting your lip.”

She stopped biting. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. It’s just. I want to bite that lip too. Hard.” I echoed her earlier statement for a second to let her know I wasn’t going to leave. She seemed stuck to her place for a second before she took my face in her hands. “We need to rectify this situation. I’m going to make love to you now,” she whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to my lips.

“I thought you didn’t make love.”

“Well, for tonight I’ll make an exception or try to combine them, I don’t know. But, please Beca. Let me make love to you tonight.” There was something about the way she asked that I couldn’t deny and I held her waist to kiss her. “Yes, Luisa.”

Not even a minute later, we were in her room. She stood me in front of her bed at the foot while she went to her dresser. Her room was a plain white with pale blue furnishings and an eighty-inch flat screen TV with an attached Xbox. Her video games were on a shelf next to the TV and I internally laughed at the amount. She removed her watch, placed it on the dresser, and went to her jacket. She took that off and threw it over the back of a nearby chair. Next were her Converse. She padded toward me slowly and I waited for her to do something. She reached up to the zipper on my jacket and pulled down gently on it as she kissed me deeply. Why did she say she couldn’t make love? My jacket came off easily and she continued with my shirt. She trailed her hands up my body while taking off my shirt with her warm palms starting to burn everything they touched. After my shirt came off, she held my waist and stared at the perfect fit bra Pieter had gotten for me. “Absolutely beautiful,” she whispered, kissing down my neck. She occasionally sucked at points to rile me up and that worked when she got to my jeans. Undoing the button, Luisa slipped her hands into my pants and pulled them down while once again kissing down my body.

She kissed once on my inner thighs and I squirmed out of desire. She smirked and reached behind me to pull the duvet off her bed. She rose slowly, kissed me deeply, and pushed on my shoulders to move me backward. When my knees hit the bed, I fell back on my own accord and my arms landed by my head. She bit her lip as she slowly unbuttoned her shirt. “You want to show me how you pleasure yourself?” she asked, her hands moving to her jeans. Her voice dripped in seduction that my clit throb with want. She had her jeans off in seconds and all I could do was stare at her half-naked figure before me. I knew she was taunting me by hovering over me with her legs straddling my hips. She was careful not to touch me because I could feel myself dying to feel her against me with nothing but skin between us. She rested on her hands and knees, looked me in the eyes, and asked again, “You want to show me how you pleasure yourself?” As if my hand knew what she wanted, it drifted down my body and into the lace panties I wore. She watched my hand intently and copied the actions to herself. She rocked onto her one hand as her own hand found its place in her underwear. I circled my clit with two fingers slowly just to see what she did and I was surprised to hear myself moan lightly. She immediately bit her lip and picked up her pace. She couldn’t tear her eyes from my actions and I knew I had control over her. I knew I was going to have to get used to having this control over her so I thought I should have the practice.

Not getting myself there, I picked up my pace and ground my hips against my fingers. I let more obscene moans leave my lips as I saw her become desperate for some relief. I tangled my unoccupied hand in her hair and pulled to bring her gaze to mine. She didn’t stop, but I did because I wanted to surprise her. Her eyes were wild with untamed desire and I didn’t think anything was hotter. We closed our eyes when I pulled her lips to mine in a passionate kiss. That wasn’t the surprise though. I took my now wet hand and replaced her hand with mine. She was soft and throbbing hard. Her hand came out of her panties to support her weight so she didn’t smash me and I took over her pleasure. She moaned loudly into my mouth before I pulled her hair again and pressed aggressively on her clit. Her eyes closed tightly as her hands closed on the sheet by my head and she came with a loud moan. She moved against my fingers for a bit to calm herself down before she opened her eyes again, which had grown significantly darker. I removed my fingers from her and made her watch me lick them clean. “Don’t think this is over so soon, Maus,” she clarified, her voice low and husky from pleasure. “I don’t want this to be over because if you orgasm like that . . . then I’m in trouble of becoming a sex addict.” She smirked predatorily and eased herself down onto me. She was so warm I thought I was burning, and her soft lips placing hot, open-mouthed kisses down my body confirmed that I was burning. By the time she got to my chest, I was already so far out with how she ground into me. I wanted this, I wanted  _ her _ .

She was deliberately slow as if she wanted to torture me, but she took my bra off so quickly. She palmed my chest with both hands, though never giving up on her grinding, and played with me. The hand in her hair never left and my other one rested on her shoulder as she took one of my nipples into her mouth and sucked. I tensed at the feeling of her talented tongue going around my hard peak and reflexively arched into her. I could feel myself getting close so I moan lightly to let her know. She chuckled and went to my other nipple to repeat her actions. She positioned her legs so one was in between mine and her thigh was pressed against me. I came instantly and pulled at her hair a bit. “That’s one. How about another?” she inquired, hands on my hips. I desperately nodded my head, spread my legs farther, and held her head against me. Both hands weaved in her hair, I watched breathlessly while she removed my panties and kissed her way back up my thighs. “You want this?” She licked my clit once and I nearly released. “How about this?” She teased my entrance with two fingers and I closed my legs on her head. “God, please Luisa!” I moaned, tightening my grip on her head. Her mouth was on me in the next second and I basically died. I pulled her hair fairly hard like I was second-guessing myself, but then I felt her fingers inside me and I was grounded. She made quick work of unraveling me more with how she sucked and licked me while pumping in and out with three fingers now. Goodbye virginity.

I came not long after that and I had to admit, that was the greatest orgasm I had ever had in my life. She cleaned me up quickly and laid off to the side of me. She kissed me gently, held my face in her hand, and stared me in the eyes. She quirked an eyebrow up with a sly smile. “You definitely were a virgin. I don’t think I’ve had anyone react like that,” she taunted, kissing me again. I felt slightly offended by her statement, though I knew she meant nothing by it and remembered who she wanted me to be for her. I rolled onto my side and asked, “Didn’t one of the rules for you say that you had to respect your Dominant at all times?”

“Ja, Maus. But why do you need to know that?” She was genuinely curious to know what I meant and I didn’t hesitate to show her. I moved quickly for dramatic effect and had her on her stomach in the middle of the bed in seconds. I leaned down and whispered into her ear playfully, “Because Miss Meyer, you just broke the rules and now I’m going to punish you.” She seemed taken away with my sentence that her breathing hitched and she bit her lip again. By that time, I had enough of her tendency to bite her lip that I pulled her earlobe with my teeth and commanded her, “Make sure I can hear you. Or else.” I didn’t know what I meant by the “or else” part, but she got extremely turned on by all of it. She held her arms above her head and let me have at her. I moved her hair to one side so I could see the way her profile reflected what I was going to do to her. Leaning onto her back, I kissed and bit down her neck to her shoulder as I unclasped her bra. I removed the garment quickly because I didn’t she could hold out any longer and ran my fingers down her back.

She was coated in sweat, probably from anticipation, and shivered when I ran a single finger down her spine. She arched into me with a small moan and I pushed her hips down onto the bed again, kneeling behind her. “Don’t move.” She breathed quickly but followed my instructions like her life depended on it. I took off her panties before positioning myself between her legs behind her. I leaned down onto her and pressed my front against her back. She was so hot in this moment I could barely control myself. I left one hand where I knew she’d want it and the other went to hold down her arms above her head. I ran a few fingers through her folds to feel how wet she was but didn’t expect to be soaked in her fluids. She moaned tightly and buried her face in the bed sheet, slightly muffling her sounds. I didn’t remove my hand from her wetness and used my other one to pull her head back to the side by her hair. “I told you not to move. Now, I’m going to make you beg for it.” I could feel myself getting violent and a nominal fear sparked inside. “Keep those there and I’ll be merciful,” I whispered darkly, referring to her arms. I resumed my earlier stance between her legs with one hand in her wetness and the other in her hair. I had two fingers at her clit to begin slowly and drew lazy circles around it. She was throbbing to no end and I could feel her getting desperate. She moaned loudly every time I added substantial pressure to her, but she didn’t move. “Good girl. Now you get some.”

I turned my hand around and drove two fingers into her. She whined helplessly and begged in a voice tainted with desire, “Gott! Please! More!” I got a good pace going that was fast but not fast enough to get her there. I continued the circles with my thumb and pulled her head back. I fixed my eyes on the headboard in front of me and licked my lips before whispering, “Is that how we ask?” Her eyes closed and her eyebrows knitted in pleasurable distress as she whimpered, “Please, Master. Give me more.” I didn’t know how I felt about being called “Master” but I decided to figure that out later. I slid another finger into her and picked up my pace. She arched into me and pulled her head down, but kept her noises heard. She didn’t stop moaning after that, but when I added a fourth finger, which I didn’t think was possible and pressed her clit harshly, she came so hard that I had to hold tightly to her hair to prevent myself from falling off her. My hand was covered in her fluids though I didn’t remove it from her just yet. Someone who had orgasmed that hard definitely needed to calm down and my hand was there to provide that relief. I removed my hand from her hair and caressed her back for comfort. Eventually, her aftershock moans died down and she returned to a normal breathing process. I took my fingers out of her and turned her over onto her back. She instantly pulled me down into a fervent kiss with both hands clasped to the sides of my face.

“No one has ever done that to me,” she confessed, her eyes aglow with delight. “But, I don’t think that was really a punishment.” My face deadpanned and she chuckled. “Don’t worry, Maus. You’ll get the hang of it later.” She kissed me again, wrapped her legs around mine, and spotted my wet hand. She eyed it for a second before gently taking my wrist and holding my hand between us. “Do you want to do the honor, or shall I?” she asked. I separated my fingers so I looked like Spock and shoved my first two fingers in her mouth so she could taste herself. She sucked on my fingers and lightly moaned at the enjoyment. Her tongue split my fingers and ran up between them in an erotic move I raised an eyebrow to. She released my wrist and fingers and watched as I put the last two fingers in my mouth. She tasted of sweet sex, which was what just happened, and I quickly took out my fingers to kiss her passionately. She responded immediately by flipping us onto my back and sucking my pulse point. I was exhausted by the point so I lightly pushed on her chest to say, “Can we just go to bed now? You’re really tiring.” She pouted but settled on her side in front of me once I turned. “Alright, then, Maus, but that’s something we need to fix later. Now, cuddle me please,” she requested, nuzzling into my chest. This was complete hearts and flowers and I wondered if she actually meant what she said before about not having a heart.

********

I woke up later that night alone in bed with a sad tune vaguely playing in the background. I sat up and looked around for Luisa who was nowhere to be found. I got up with the blanket wrapped around me and wandered out to the living area where I saw Luisa at the piano. She was definitely playing a sad song, that much was obvious, and she had so much emotion behind her playing. It was close to dawn but the sky was still a medium blue. I stepped out from behind the corner I was hiding behind and saw a different shade of Luisa. She was wearing a simple bra with sweatpants and tears were running down her face. Her hair hung over one shoulder and her gaze was focused down on the keys, not me. A little lamp off to the side of her illuminated her playing and I quietly made my way to her. I stood a few feet from her and could just barely hear what she was singing. “So please, I know you, baby. I know, you baby,” was what soft soprano rang out from her tortured lungs. The way she sang the word please was so much different than the way she was screaming it earlier and I realized that she was hurt. She sounded pleading in a way that was begging for help.

It was as if I could see her heart beating in a broken manner that she was covering up from me. With every note she hit seemed to resemble a different time she was hurt. I saw this beautiful woman before me who was playing out the tragedy she knew and my heart yearned to help in some way. I took another step and she heard me. She sat straight up from her slouch and wiped away her tears quickly to hide what she was just doing. “I-I’m sorry for waking you, Maus,” she apologized, staring at the ground in front of me. I was too curious to even think about my disturbance and I stepped next to her. I cradled her face in my hand since my other was holding the blanket up and asked, “Why were you crying?” Way to be cryptic. She leaned into my touch, took my hand, and kissed my palm. She took me by the waist and sat me on her lap so I was straddling her legs. “Nein, Maus. I wasn’t crying. I just . . . had something in my eye.” She looked like she was trying to avoid the subject as much as possible, and knowing it was probably really personal, I decided to take a different approach. I held her face in my hands that had balled up blanket within, which exposed my front half, and told her, “You know, Luisa. It’s alright to cry. You don’t have to be strong all the time. It’s okay to admit weakness every now and again.” Her eyes were wide with disbelief. She couldn’t believe I had just said that. Her lower lip quivered before her eyes shut and she began crying again.

She buried her face in my chest and held me against her tightly. “I’m sorry . . . I’m sorry . . . I’m sorry,” she whispered, holding to me tighter. I consoled her for a while, just running my fingers through her hair, and when she seemed finished, I asked her, “Do you want to go back to bed?”

“Ja, Maus. Please . . . hold me.” She picked me up and walked us back to her room where she set me down. I wiped away the few tear streaks and kissed her sweetly. She cracked a bit of a smile and looked down at the floor between us. I looked down too, but my eye was caught by a scar on Luisa’s body. It was barely visible since she was wearing a bra, but if she wasn’t wearing a bra, I could see the whole thing. I reached up to run my fingers over the solid white line in her skin and barely brushed it before she removed my hand. “What was that from?” I questioned, looking into her eyes. She avoided my question and went to her dresser to pull on a plain white t-shirt. We moved to the bed with my unanswered question left in the air. As I held the older woman’s head in my arms, I wondered the same question: What happened to this woman?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Luisa is playing: "I Know You" by Skylar Grey


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is extremely long.

**Luisa**

 

By the time I woke up the next morning, it felt like a normal morning for me. Maus wasn’t in my bed, I was a bit sore between my legs, and a deep aroma of eggs and bacon permeated my room. I sat up in bed, looked around, and noticed my shirt from the night before was missing. I was still wearing the sweatpants and white t-shirt I had put on hours ago with my hair all mussed. I ran my fingers through it a few times as I climbed out of the pale blue sheets with a yawn and headed to the breakfast bar to know what was going on. Instantly, I saw the most absurd turn on ever. Maus was dancing ridiculously in the kitchen while cooking the bacon and eggs I smelled. I chuckled to myself and sat down at the breakfast bar to watch her for a few more moments. She turned around with a bowl in her hands that I assumed was pancake batter and spotted me. She jumped nearly halfway across the room yet managed to keep hold of the bowl so it didn’t fall. Great. That grip would come in handy later. I smiled again albeit teasingly, stood up, and went to her. She smacked me lightly on the chest before going back to what she was doing, which left me to watch her from behind. I wrapped my arm around her waist with the other one across her chest and pulled her against me gently. She was surprised no doubt, but she didn’t pull away. I kissed warmly behind her ear, popped out the earbud she had in, and whispered lowly, “How are you this morning?”

“How do you want your eggs?” she answered aggressively, ignoring my question. She was clearly annoyed by something, probably how I scared her seconds ago, and my comforting squeeze didn’t seem to help. I tried kissing down the side of her neck, but she turned to me, looked me in the eyes, and told me firmly, “Go sit down.” I cautiously backed off of her and did as she said. When I was sat back down, she seemed more composed than before and I had to admire how adult she looked now that I had taken her virginity. Damnit. I was totally fucked then and not to even mention I had told her about the Red Room, which put me deeper into the shit mess I had created. I internally scolded myself as I laid out the placemats and plates for breakfast. Soon enough, she had breakfast in front of me and I was dying of hunger. I didn’t realize how hungry I was until she had breakfast made, though I had a feeling the hunger I was feeling wasn’t just for her pancakes. Her mild dominance this morning made me want to kneel in front of her and beg to be fucked right there on the kitchen counter. I abide by the rules with everything I can and if I get rewarded for it, I’d choose for her to use me like I was nothing. Sounded self-degrading when I said it out loud to myself, but I couldn’t deny the urge I got to have her take me to the Red Room right then.

“Damn, you were hungry,” she observed, seeing that I had finished my plate. It had been less than five minutes since she placed the food in front of me, and I had just swallowed the last pieces of bacon and egg. I chuckled a bit and turned to her as she continued with her food. She was halfway finished with hers but went on as we talked. “Well, I am still hungry. Maybe not for food, but definitely hungry,” I retorted sexually, licking my lips. She went wide-eyed at my comment and swallowed hard. She quickly set down her fork and knife to turn to me and rest her hands on my thighs. Beca’s eyes read complete control and her body language read slightly turned on. With her hair pulled back into a ponytail, she explained sternly, “Now I understand that you want me to be your Dominant and all, but do not. I repeat, do _not_ turn me on while I’m eating because that’s a surefire way of getting your ass punished.”

“Is that a proposal for a new rule?”

“Know what? Yes, it is, in fact, a new rule I’m instituting. You are not allowed to entice me into any form of sexual encounter at inappropriate times. Such inappropriate times include when I’m at work, when I’m at a formal event, or when I’m eating.”

“I’ll be sure to add it to the contract.” She huffed out a breath before going back to eating calmly. I stood to take my plate to the kitchen, but she grabbed my waistband. “Stand here a second,” she commanded. She kept eating like nothing was going to happen, then she said, “This will be your punishment for now,” and slipped two fingers into my underwear. I gasped loudly at the intrusion and held myself up with a hand on the breakfast bar to the side of me. She watched me closely as she ate the rest of her breakfast and teased my clitoris with her two fingers. After a solid minute of her playing with me, I felt myself start to pulse and grind my hips desperately. I bit my lip hard with a light moan and she stopped. Her hand was gone as soon as I responded the way she wanted me to and she finished her food seconds later. She cleaned her fingers and watched me carefully. She quickly handled everything else since I was stuck frozen in my place and she came back to me. Holding my hips, she leaned up to whisper, “Now let’s get you cleaned up.”

Next thing I knew, we were in the bathroom and she was running a bath. I was standing dumbfounded in the center of the room in awe at the woman in front of me. She was serious, powerful, and gentle at the same time. I knew she was perfect for me. Little did I realize then, that statement would be true. When she stood in front of me with a confused expression, she looked me up and down before telling me, “Undress. But do it slowly.” Being compliant with her orders, I stripped off my shirt with no rush, despite my clit begging me to be naked. I let it fall to the floor next to me and went to my sweatpants. I stepped out of them and stood in front of her half naked. I reached across my body to take off my sports bra the way I did my shirt, but her hands stopped me. “I’ll do this. You stand in the water,” she instructed, her eyes burning with fire. I did as I was told and stood in the nearly burning water that was scented with lavender oil. She took out her ponytail, shook her hair out, then unbuttoned her shirt. I was dying to touch her at the sight of her pale skin against the morning light but throbbed harder at the darkness in her eyes. I barely recognized the woman I had spent the night with because of how much she looked like pure sex in the early daylight. She walked to me naked and observed me fully.

She reached up to hold my chin with her thumb and forefinger so she could pull my lip out from between my teeth and scold me, “I know how delicious that is, but you really need to cut it out.” I averted my gaze like I typically did when I made a transgression and apologized, “Sorry, Master.”

“Don’t be sorry. Be obedient,” she affirmed, staring me in the eyes. “Now, when I finish undressing you, would you prefer to wash me or I wash you?” I knew I wanted to touch her so I went with the latter and she began to take off the rest of my clothes with kisses. She pressed a kiss to each of my hard nipples and lined my stomach with her lips before sliding my underwear down my legs. She managed to press one kiss to me between my legs and I came suddenly. I clenched my fists so I didn’t upset her by holding her hair while a moan rang from me. “Good girl. Do well with this, and maybe I’ll reward you,” she teased, motioning to sit down. Not letting go of eye contact, I lowered myself into the water and watched her climb in in front of me. She backed up against me and on instinct, I wrapped my arms around her. The water came up to our waists and she held the sides of the tub in anticipation of what she wanted me to do. Without needing to be told, I kissed down her neck whilst running my hands down her body. One disappeared under the surface of the water and found its way to the inner part of her thigh. The other stayed at her chest to palm her breast and tease her nipple.

Her hands came to cover mine and also direct them. This was what I wanted. To be used for her pleasure. She pushed three of my fingers inside her while she ground her clit into my palm. Her head fell back onto my chest and airy moans began to leave her mouth, which was getting me excited again. She was close soon after, but that was when she stopped and pulled my fingers out of her. I wondered what she was doing until she pulled my head down so she could whisper into my ear breathlessly, “Use your tongue.” I knew what she meant so I positioned myself in front of her and met her eyes with parted lips. “Do you want to do this?” she asked sincerely.

“Anything to please you.”

“Deep breath then,” she whispered before pushing my head underwater to her clitoris. Luckily, I was able to hold my breath for extended periods of time so this was nothing. I licked and sucked her a few times, then she came. I knew because she pulled my hair to bring me back up for air. My hair was dripping wet but she didn’t care. “Oh, Beautiful,” was all she whispered as she pulled me into passionately tender kisses. I moaned into the kisses because she pulled my lower lip fiercely with her teeth. She pulled away after a while and told me, “I want to hear that so much right now. Get up. Dry off.” Doing as she said, I stood dry in the center of the room and waited for her to get out of the bath. When she stood in front of me completely dried off, she took my hand and pulled me out to my bedroom. “Oh you definitely are getting rewarded now,” she decided, leaving m to stand in front of my bed. She went into my closet and came back with one of my ties. I knew where she was going with this so I held my hands out with my wrists together and she tied them together tightly. Just how I like it. I hoped they left marks on my wrists so she’d have physical evidence of what pleasure she caused me.

She took my hands and pushed them until I fell back onto the bed with my bound wrists above my head. She slowly dragged her eyes up and down my body in the most erotic fashion I had seen from anyone, and she stopped to stare at _me_. It was as if she could see the throbbing pain I was in from her delaying and she just wanted to see how long it took for me to beg her for it. She spread my legs to fully expose me to her and crawled her way up the bed. I was so in awe of this moment that when she came face to face with me, I could barely see her bite her own lip. I swallowed hard, avoided eye contact, and tried not to bite my lip, but ended up doing just that. She traced the curve of my face with her fingertips and continued down my body to where I wanted her most. My body tingled wherever she touched me and I couldn’t stop the shiver that shot down my spine. The gasp gave it away, which she responded with the sultry comment of, “I could get used to this.” We met eyes and I fell prey to the dark fantasies lurking behind her dark Parisian blue of her irises which the only proper response to was, “Take me, Maus. Make me your bitch.” The ominous light that sparked in her eyes nearly put me over the edge, but I had to control myself. She began with a light kiss to my lips and a gentle stroke of my desperate clitoris. I moaned loudly as my head reflexively went back and my body arched up into her. I was a heated mess that was starting to come undone with every touch.

I knew not to grind or else she’d get upset so instead I clenched my fists and bit hard on my lip to counteract all of what I was feeling. She licked her lips and stroked again, a bit harder this time. I screamed again and breathed raggedly to help myself. She repeated her actions, being harder every time until she paused before a stroke to whisper, “C’mon Kitty Kat. Let me hear you purr.” She pressed so hard into me I had to let go and I screamed so loud my vocal chords hurt. I arched so far off the bed, I was still squirming in her arms when I fell back. She allowed me to grind into her hand to ride out the last bit of my orgasm as my sounds became a mixture of obscene moans, heavy breathing, and breathless, “Yeah!” When I had calmed enough to be normal, I looked into her eyes to for instructions on what to do next. She didn’t say anything but, “Guess what Kitty Kat?” leaning down to whisper into my ear, “This is mine now. So don’t you ever forget it.” She ran her whole, wet hand over my vagina as a way of indicating what was hers now and I was willing to let her have it. All of it. She just had to sign the contract and I’d be hers whenever she wanted me. She kissed me gently and then continued to kiss down my body. I watched her carefully, tracking her lips with my eyes until she reached my own. She let her nails graze my skin as she dragged her hands down my body and I felt more desire creep into me.

“This time, I want you to move all you want, but don’t move your arms,” she informed, positioning her head between my legs. I knew what she was going to do and I could almost feel her mouth on me. The thought alone made me arch into her face for some relief of the aching feeling for more. She smirked at me and spread my legs further apart with her hands firmly on my inner thighs. I shivered at the sudden cold air to my wetness and gasped. Not removing her hands from my thighs, Beca traced my lips with her tongue and intentionally brushed my clitoris to see what would happen. Given the freedom to move, I arched off the bed. She chuckled before she went to work and flicked my sex with the tip of her tongue erratically. She interchanged sucks with the flicking, which soon made me desperate. I bucked against her mouth to get any friction I could and found a steady rhythm we were both content with. I moaned lightly with every movement and began to feel my orgasm coming on when we heard dialogue out in the hall. _“I know Luisa. She’d be sick if she was still in bed this late.”_ My mother.

 _“Mrs. Meyer, I wouldn’t.”_ Pieter. Beca paused for a second and looked at me. I whispered, “My mother. Untie me.” Like the defiant person she was, Beca just continued to suck my clitoris. I wanted to tell her to stop, but at the same time, I knew I couldn’t greet my mother with a throbbing in my clit. I let her continue, but then I heard the worst thing ever. “Luisa? Are you in there?” my mother asked, knocking softly. I had two options: Answer and pretend to not be having sex or not answer and risk her walking in on us. I had to make it quick so I answered, “Ja, Mutter. I’m . . . I’m here.” My voice sounded a bit strangled and lower than it typically was, but I blamed that on how turned on I was.

“Are you alright? You sound strange.” Beca smirked up at me but continued anyway. I felt myself getting close and decided to get it over with, my mother be damned. I ground against Beca’s mouth harder than before at the same tempo and kept my noises to heavy breathing. “Ja! I’m! I’m fine! Ah!” I screamed back, hoping that didn’t alarm her. She seemed to understand when Pieter added, “She’s with someone.”

“Oh . . . “ My mother was left speechless and I was on the brink of coming all over Beca’s face if she kept at it. I was squirming helplessly under her ministrations until finally she jabbed her wet thumb into my clitoris and commanded, “Come for me, Kat.” Forgetting my mother existed for a second, I orgasmed hard and my body tensed at the ferocity while an ear-splitting shriek left my body. Beca licked me clean while I breathed heavily down from my climax and mouthed curse words at her. “I’m going to wait in the living room, okay Luisa?”

“Ja. I’ll meet you there.” Beca crawled up my body again, but this time, she kissed me as she untied my wrists. As soon as my hands were free, I held her face in place and bit her lower lip hard. Payback for probably scarring my mother. “Now get off me. I need to get dressed and you do too if you want to meet my mother,” I explained, flipping the two of us over. I got up and got dressed in less than a minute before looking at Beca. She was sprawled out on her back on the bed with a sly smirk on her face. This was one of the times I loved having control because the situation (my mother) was personal and Beca hadn’t met her. In fact, none of my other doms had met her now that I thought about it. I motioned my hand around the room and told the tiny woman, “Get dressed!”

“Why don’t I stay in here?”

“Oh no you don’t,” I scolded, going to my dresser. I pulled out some underwear, shorts, and a t-shirt for her to wear. Atlanta in March was surprisingly hot. I took them to the bed and as if she knew I was going to force her into the clothes, she tried squirming away. I managed to catch her and pin her to the bed with my weight on her waist. Straddling her, I got the panties and shorts on before she threw the shirt away in a fit of laughter. I couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped me at her childishness and once again forgot my mother was just outside. I got her bra back on with little fighting, but when I got up to retrieve the shirt, she got up and ran out of the room shirtless. She was giggling hysterically as I caught up with her and tackled her right at the entrance to the living room where my mother was standing. I quickly got the shirt on Beca before she turned us over and held my hands down above my head. She rested between my hips with our fingers intertwined and a devilish smirk across her face. “You naughty little bitch. I’ll have to punish you next time we go back to that room,” she joked, mouths nearly touching. We laughed at the joke and kissed tenderly a few times. I didn’t know what it was, but my heart began beating faster at the genuine happiness I felt seeing Beca happy.

We got up awkwardly when my mother cleared her throat. We stood next to each other holding hands and glanced at each other a few times. “Beca, this is my mother Dr. Meyer. Mother, this is Beca Mitchell,” I introduced, gesturing to each respectively. The two shook hands and exchanged smiles when Beca’s phone rang. She excused herself to answer it and as I heard, “What do you want, Jesse?” I couldn’t stop the pang of anger bolt through me. No matter what he did, he didn’t deserve Beca in his life after what he did. I had to focus on what my mother was saying so I turned to her and concentrated on her. “ . . . such a lovely girl. Where did you two meet?”

“We met when she interviewed me for her college’s newspaper since I’m conferring the degrees.” My mother’s face was something of shock. I had never been one for big social events, not even my birthday, and hearing I was voluntarily going to one came as a surprise to my mother. She brushed some of her sandy blonde hair out of her face and continued. “So she’s in college?”

“Ja, she’s 22. So she’s legal.” We shared a small chuckle at the joke and I glanced at Beca, who was coming back to us.

“Well, Aubrey told me you were in the area and I haven’t seen you in two weeks.”

“Did she now?” Maus curled up into my side and tentatively wrapped her arm around my waist. I smiled down at her and kissed her easily with the night before in mind. When we parted, our faces stayed within inches of each other’s and our eyes met in what could only be described as a lover’s gaze. The feeling that welled within my chest was a weird one I chose to ignore for the time being. My mother saw our interaction and concluded, “It seems you two have places to be so I’ll be on my way. Make sure to call me about lunch sometime, okay Luisa?”

“Alright, mother. I will.”

“And it was a pleasure meeting you, Beca. I hope to see you again.” She smiled at us before allowing Pieter to escort her out. As she was walking out, I could faintly hear her whisper to Pieter, “They’re such a lovely couple.” I smirked at my mother’s antics and turned to Beca. I held her face in my hands for a second before playing with her face like she was a toddler. I had to get rid of that light, adorable feeling inside me because I didn’t like it. I never knew what it was, but I wasn’t going to ponder it. “What are you doing?” Maus asked, feeling her face get squished around. I laughed, kissed her, and pulled her into a big hug.

“I honestly don’t know. I just feel the need to do this.” I placed her down after the emotion had dissipated, but I still had a stupid grin across my face. I remembered what I wanted to give her and went to my study to get it. I came back to her with a plain orange envelope that had the contract in it. I handed it to her and explained, “This is the contract. Read it. Review it. Know it. You may have to do some research, but I’m sure you’ll find it . . . entertaining.” She took the envelope, looked at it carefully, and nodded her head. We got back to Savannah and before she left the car, Beca asked, “Should I send you a bibliography? If so, should my sources be cited?”

I laughed, took her hand, and told her, “Only if you want to.” She smiled, took the envelope, and kissed me deeply. Then, swaying her hips, she walked to her apartment with a single glance back over her shoulder. If she agreed to this, I’d have a hard time controlling myself. But luckily for me, she’s the one who’d control me.

********

Later, when I got home, I made sure of a few things. The first being that Maus got a laptop to do her research on, second to send her an email, the third was the contract. I know I was the one who wrote it, but I had to review it myself.

 

* * *

**CONTRACT**

Made this day ______ of 2018 (“The Commencement Date”)

**BETWEEN**

MISS LUISA MEYER of 375 Edington, Atlanta, GA 30328 (“The Submissive”)

MISS REBECCA MITCHELL of 4086 Layman Avenue, Apartment 4, Cedar Bend, Savannah, GA 30329

**THE PARTIES AGREE AS FOLLOWS**

1  The following are the terms of a binding contract between the Submissive and the Dominant.

**FUNDAMENTAL TERMS**

2  The fundamental purpose of this contract is to allow the Dominant to explore her sensuality and her dominance safely, with due respect and regard for her needs, her limits, and her well-being.

3  The Dominant and the Submissive agree and acknowledge that all that occurs under the terms of this contract will be consensual, confidential, and subject to the agreed limits and safety procedures set out in this contract. Additional limits and safety procedures may be agreed in writing.

4  The Dominant and the Submissive both warrant that they suffer from no sexual, serious, infectious, or life-threatening illnesses, including but not limited to HIV, herpes, and hepatitis. If during the Term (as defined below) or any extended term of this contract, either party should be diagnosed with or become aware of any such illness, she undertakes to inform the other immediately and in any event prior to any form of physical contact between the parties.

5  Adherence to the above warranties, agreements, and undertakings (and any additional limits and safety procedures agreed under clause 3 above) are fundamental to this contract. Any breach shall render it void with immediate effect and each party agrees to be fully responsible to the other for the consequence of any breach.

6  Everything in this contract must be read and interpreted in the light of the fundamental purpose and the fundamental terms set out in clauses 2-5 above.

**ROLES**

7  The Dominant shall take responsibility for the well-being and the proper discipline of the Submissive. She shall decide the nature of such discipline and the time and place of its administration, subject to the agreed terms, limitations, etc. set out in this contract and clause 3 above.

8  If at any time the Dominant should fail to keep to the agreed terms, limitations, etc. in this contract or under clause 3, the Submissive is entitled to terminate this contract forthwith and to leave the service of the Dominant without notice.

9  Subject to that proviso and to clauses 2-5 above, the Submissive is to serve and obey the Dominant in all things. She shall without query or hesitation offer the Dominant such pleasure as they may require and she shall accept without query their discipline in whatever form it may take.

**COMMENCEMENT AND TERM**

10  The Dominant and Submissive enter into this contract on the Commencement Date fully aware of its nature and undertake to abide by its conditions without exception.

11  This contract shall be effective for a period of three calendar months from the Commencement Date (“the Term”). On the expiry of the Term, the parties shall discuss whether this contract and the arrangements made are satisfactory and whether the needs of each party have been met. Either party may propose the extension of this contract subject to adjustments to its terms or to the arrangements to its terms or to the arrangements they have made under it. In the absence of agreement to such extension, this contract shall terminate and both parties shall be free to resume their lives separately.

**AVAILABILITY**

12  The Dominant and Submissive will make themselves available to the other from Friday evenings to Sunday afternoons each week during the Term at times to be specified by the Dominant (“the Allotted Times”). Further allocated times can be mutually agreed on an ad hoc basis.

13  The Dominant reserves the right to dismiss the Submissive from her service at any time for any reason. The Submissive may request her release at any time, such request to be granted at the discretion of the Dominant subject only to the Submissive’s rights under clauses 2-5 and 8 above.

**LOCATION**

14  The Submissive will make herself available during the Allotted Times and agreed additional times at locations determined by the Dominant. The Submissive will ensure that all travel costs incurred by the Dominant for that purpose are met by the Submissive.

**SERVICE PROVISIONS**

15  The following service provisions have been discussed and agreed and will be adhered to by both parties during the Term. Both parties accept extenuating circumstances may arise that are covered by the terms laid out in this contract. In such cases, further clauses may be implemented by way of amendment, but must be agreed, documented, and signed by both parties and shall be subject to the fundamental terms set out in clauses 2-5 above.

**DOMINANT**

15.1  The Dominant shall make the Submissive’s health and safety a priority at all times. The Dominant shall not at any time require, request, allow, or demand the Submissive to participate at the hands of the Dominant in the activities detailed in Appendix 2 or in any act that either party deems unsafe. The Dominant will not undertake or permit to be undertaken any action which could cause serious injury or risk to the life of the Submissive. The remaining subclauses of this clause 15 are to be read subject to this proviso and to the fundamental terms in clauses 2-5 above.

15.2  The Dominant accepts the Submissive as hers, to own, control, dominate, and discipline during the Term. The Dominant may use the Submissive’s body at any time during the Allotted Times or any agreed additional times in any manner she deems fit, sexually or otherwise.

15.3  The Dominant may discipline the Submissive as necessary to discourage unacceptable behavior. The Dominant may flog, spank, whip, or corporally punish the Submissive as she sees fit, for purposes of discipline, for her own personal enjoyment, or for any other reason, which she is not obliged to provide.

15.4  In the administration of discipline, the Dominant shall ensure not permanent marks are made upon the Submissive’s body nor any injuries which require medical attention.

15.5  In the administration of discipline, the Dominant shall ensure the discipline and the instruments used for discipline are safe and not used in such a way as to cause serious harm, and shall not in any way exceed the limits defined and detailed in this contract.

15.6  In case of illness to either party, both parties shall care for the other and see to the health and care of the sick party. When medical attention is deemed necessary, the sick party shall seek immediately to maintain a risk-free environment.

15.7  The Dominant shall not loan her Submissive to another Dominant.

15.8  The Dominant may restrain, handcuff, bind, or suffocate the Submissive at any time during the Allotted Times or any agreed times for any reason and for extended periods of time, giving due regard to the health and safety of the Submissive.

15.9  The Dominant will ensure all equipment used for the purpose of discipline shall be maintained in a clean, hygienic, and safe state at all times.

**SUBMISSIVE**

15.10  The Submissive accepts the Dominant as her master, with the understanding that she is now the property of the Dominant, to be dealt with as the Dominant pleases during the Term in general but specifically during the Allotted Times and any additional agreed allotted times.

15.11  The Submissive shall obey the rules (“the Rules”) set out in Appendix 1 of this contract.

15.12  The Submissive shall serve the Dominant in any way the Dominant sees fit and shall endeavor to please the Dominant at all times to the best of her ability.

15.13  See clause 15.6

15.14  The Submissive shall accept without question any and all disciplinary actions deemed necessary by the Dominant and remember her status and role in regard to the Dominant at all times.

15.15  The Submissive shall not touch or pleasure herself sexually with permission from the Dominant.

15.16  The Submissive shall submit to any sexual activity demanded by the Dominant and shall do so without hesitation or argument.

15.17  The Submissive shall accept whippings, floggings, spankings, canings, paddlings, or any other discipline the Dominant should decide to administer without hesitation, inquiry, or complaint.

15.18  the Submissive shall not look directly into the eyes of the Dominant except when specifically instructed to do so. The Submissive shall keep her eyes cast down and maintain a quiet and respectful bearing in the presence of the Dominant.

15.19  The Submissive shall always conduct herself in a respectful manner to the Dominant and shall address her only as what is deemed appropriate.

15.20  The Submissive shall not touch the Dominant without her express permission to do so.

**ACTIVITIES**

16  The Submissive shall not participate in activities or any sexual acts that either party deems to be unsafe or any activity detailed in Appendix 2.

17  The Dominant and Submissive have discussed the activities set out in Appendix 3 and recorded in writing on Appendix 3 their agreement in respect of them.

**SAFEWORDS**

18  The Dominant and Submissive recognize that the Dominant may make demands of the Submissive that cannot be met without incurring any form of harm upon the Submissive. In such circumstances, the Submissive may make use of a safeword (“the Safeword[s]”).

19  The Safeword “Yellow” will be used to bring to the attention of the Dominant that the Submissive is close to her limit of endurance.

20  The Safeword “Red” will be used when the Submissive cannot tolerate any further demands. When said, the Dominant’s actions must cease completely with immediate effect.

21  In order for the Submissive to understand her duties for the time being are completed, the Dominant must assert, “You are free to go,” and the Submissive will exit the area.

**CONCLUSION**

22  We the undersigned have read and understood fully the provisions of this contract. We freely accept the terms of this contract and have acknowledged this by our signatures below.

______________________________

**The Submissive: Luisa Meyer**

**Date**

______________________________

**The Dominant: Rebecca Mitchell**

**Date**

 

I skipped over Appendixes 1 and 2 since I had already gone over that with Beca anyway and went straight to Appendix 3.

 

* * *

**APPENDIX 3**

Soft Limits

To be discussed and agreed upon by both parties:

Does the Dominant consent to:

  * Masturbation
  * Cunnilingus
  * Vaginal intercourse
  * Vaginal Fisting
  * Anal intercourse
  * Anal Fisting



Does the Dominant consent to the use of on Submissive:

  * Vibrators
  * Butt plugs
  * Dildos
  * Other vaginal/anal toys



Does the Dominant consent to Bondage on Submissive with:

  * Rope
  * Leather cuffs
  * Handcuffs / Shackles / Manacles
  * Tape
  * Other



Does the Dominant consent to restraining the Submissive with:

  * Hands bound in front
  * Ankles bound
  * Elbows bound
  * Hands bound behind back
  * Knees bound
  * Wrists bound to ankles
  * Binding to fixed items, furniture, etc.
  * Binding with spreaderbar
  * Suspension



Does the Dominant consent to blinding the Submissive?

Does the Dominant consent to gagging the Submissive?

How much pain is the Dominant willing to inflict?

Where 1 is crying and 5 is not at all:

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5

Does the Dominant consent to inflicting the following forms of pain/punishment/discipline:

  * Spanking
  * Whipping
  * Biting
  * Genital clamps
  * Hot Wax
  * Paddling
  * Caning
  * Nipple clamps
  * Ice
  * Other types/methods of pain



* * *

 

I finished reading the contract and booted up my laptop. I sent Beca an email that said:

_Dear Miss Mitchell,_

_I trust you slept well. I hope you find this laptop helpful to do your research._

_I look forward to dinner Wednesday._

_Happy to answer any questions, via email, if you want._

_Luisa Meyer_

********

The next morning I woke to find she had emailed me back and clearly read the document because she told me to call her Maus, Beca, or her personal favorite . . . Mistress. I giggled at the nickname but decided to use that primarily because of the way it sounded. We emailed a few more times before we had to go to work and then continued when we got back. I urged her to start her research so she could ask me any questions and I assumed she started because she didn’t email me back. A few more hours later and I found she emailed me back with her bibliography and the exact words she searched. Among the list were, “dominant”, “submissive discipline”, and my favorite, “hardcore dominance”. Just looking at the words she searched turned me on and I could only imagine what else she looked at. She included links to websites she went to and I was surprised to find Porn Hub was there. She wrote the title of the porn she watched, which was, “Dominant Female punishes her hot Submissive”. Admittedly, I watched a few minutes of it and I wanted to touch myself so badly afterward, but I knew I couldn’t because the contract said I couldn’t without Beca’s permission and she knew this. When I had gone through the whole list of websites she used, her message at the bottom said, “Go ahead and touch yourself. That’ll be the last time you do it alone.” I took a deep breath and shut my laptop before making my way to my bedroom where her scent still lurked. Never had I ever been more excited to orgasm on my own accord.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't rewrite the whole contract so credits go to E.L. James.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this is overdue. I am having a crazy schedule and a few personal issues that get in the way of my motivation/creativity. Hope you like!

**Beca**

 

**_To:_ ** _ Luisa Meyer _

**_Subject:_ ** _ Shocked of BUS _

**_From:_ ** _ Beca Mitchell _

_ Well, it was nice knowing you. _

_ Beca _

 

I clicked the send button on the lower right of my screen and shut my laptop. I had just gotten back from a run, which Stacie was shocked to find me doing, and I thought long and hard about this situation. Based off the thorough research I had done, it seemed to me that Luisa actually  _ wanted _ to be tied up, blindfolded, gagged, and tortured for some sexual desire. I knew I didn’t want to lose her for some reason, but I couldn’t help thinking that I’d only get hurt if I had agreed to this. She wanted me to hit her, humiliate her even, and I wasn’t sure if I could give that to her. I had some experience with at least topping, as seen by Saturday, but fully dominating her? Whips, floggers, and all? I wasn’t thinking straightly. I decided to work on other things while I awaited a reply from her and placed my earbuds in. I folded the laundry quickly and went back upstairs to my room. I was too lost in my mind to even notice that Luisa was standing in the kitchen with Stacie as I bounded up the stairs to my room. I placed the basket down on the floor by my dresser and turned around to be met with Luisa standing in the doorway to my room. She was wearing flannel pajama pants, a white t-shirt, and her Converse with her hair down. She also wore her glasses, probably because she didn’t have time to put contacts in, and she swung her car keys around one finger. 

I jumped in surprise before removing my headphones. “What are you doing here, Luisa? I thought you’d reply by email,” I quipped, becoming shy immediately. She rocked off the door, smiled slyly, and stopped in front of me. She brushed a piece of my hair behind my ear but paused when she felt how sweaty I was. “You’ve been working out,” she pointed out simply, giving me a quizzical look. I opened my mouth, then closed it because I decided not to comment on it. I just looked down to my feet and noticed how puffed up one of her pockets were. I wondered what was in there subconsciously. I looked back up to her, and she tilted her head to the side. Gripping both sides of my face, she plainly stated, “It was nice knowing me?” I wanted to say something in response, but her voice caught me. It was so dark that in the darkness of my room, I could feel the reverberations from her chest. I felt the muscles in my legs tense at the sound of her desire filled voice and couldn’t stop myself from begging her to go on. She bit her lip lightly before releasing it and whispering, “Must I remind you . . . how  _ nice _ it was . . . to know me?” She kissed me gently, causing me to reach up to her waist, and pulled away before kneeling in front of me. She sat back on her heels, left her palms up on her thighs, and stared down at the floor. I saw this position before and I knew she had fully submitted to me.

Innately, I felt my darker side overcome me like it was a personality shift, but I still knew my place in relation to her. I reached down and tangled my fingers in her long, blonde hair. It was silky as always, but I was going to be rough with it, with  _ her _ . I closed my fist toward the back of her head and pulled so she faced me. Instantly, I heard a small gasp escape her and saw her bite her lip reflexively. That damned action was going to send me over the edge itself. I reached down with my other hand, freed her lip, and scolded her, “I’ve told you before what that does to me. Don’t do it again. Now, stay here while I get something to drink.” I released her for a second and headed downstairs to the kitchen to find a bottle of champagne we had. I got some ice because I was going to try dominating her using the knowledge I had now. Plus, she had put Ice on the stupid contract, so why not try it now? Stacie didn’t question anything but the intimidating expression I had on my face. I never answered her and went back upstairs to where Luisa still kneeled on my floor in front of my bed. I shut and locked the door before placing the ice and champagne on my nightstand. I stood back in front of her and told her, “Look at me.” She did as I said, but didn’t look me in the eyes. I held up crossed fingers to tell her to stay silent unless I say otherwise. I thought she understood what I meant because she stayed where she was and even quieted her breathing so she was completely silent. She watched me as I pointed to the ceiling, twirled it around, then pointed to the bed.

Those hand signals would be the majority of our communication during these times and if she didn’t understand them, then I’d have to teach them to her. But probably not much because she did as I instructed with my hands. She stood, undressed to her bra and underwear, then laid down on my bed. Luckily I had washed my blanket so only my sheets remained. She remained silent as she laid on my bed half naked with her arms at her sides. I went to see what was in her pocket and wasn’t really surprised to find the exact same tie I used to tie her up previously. I cocked an eyebrow at her as I held it up for her to see. “Does someone want to be tied up tonight?” I asked, not expecting a response because I already knew it. She answered anyway with a shaky, “Y-Yes, Mistress.” I assumed that was because I hadn’t given her the instruction to talk again and consequently clarified, “If I ask you a question, you respond. Understand?”

“Yes, Mistress.” She swallowed and breathed deeply at the arousal in her voice. I could hear the throbbing in her clit from the way her voice staggered and I was so turned on by that, I hurried to pleasure her. I stripped my shoes, socks, and shirt before pulling my hair back into a ponytail. I mounted her at the waist with full intention to tease her before she begged. I held my wrists up together with the tie in my hand and watched her comply. I tied her hands together, then tied her hands to my headboard while staring her directly in the eyes. She shivered under my gaze, her lips parting, and she averted her eyes quickly. I leaned down, kissed her, and removed her glasses. Her eyes were so dark I could see the deep pools of desire forming in the blue. I caressed the side of her face as she bit her lip and dragged her eyes down my body. “I think you’ve seen enough,” I dictated, reaching down to her bra. She was wearing a sports bra so it’d be tight over her eyes when I blindfolded her with it. I was about to remove it when she shied away from my touch on her right ribs. I remembered the scar she had there and asked, “What is this from?”

“No, not now. Just use the other side to get it past.” I could tell she was pulling away from me because of this so I left it alone. I pushed up on the other side of her bra until it came up past her breasts. I continued pushing the garment until it covered her eyes and left her chest exposed. I kissed my way down each of her arms, starting at the wrists, and didn’t stop until I had taunted each of her nipples with my lips and teeth. She arched naturally and pulled at her restraints slightly with an airy moan. I ran my forefinger across her lips a few times and asked, “Is Kitty Kat thirsty? Then, maybe I should get you something to drink.” The weight on the bed shifted as I reached over and grabbed the bottle of champagne. I opened it calmly so it didn’t spill then took a swig. I leaned down and kissed her so I could deposit the liquid into her mouth. She drank desperately and arched into me for some friction, which she found none. “Don’t move,” I commanded, repeating my actions. She kept her movements to a minimal and I continued. I got off her for a second to remove the rest of my clothing and grab an ice cube. Time for experimentation. I mounted her again and kissed her while adding the ice. She whimpered helplessly and pulled at her restraints again. God, she was good at this.

I kissed down her body with the ice cube and placed the ice cube in her navel. She instinctively undulated at the coldness and I had to remind her, “Don’t move.” I kissed further down her body with my cold lips and pressed a frozen kiss to her heated center. She moaned at the feeling and breathed heavily. “Keep quiet or else I’ll gag you,” I threatened, looking up to her. She balled her fists then bit hard on her lip. I smirked evilly and kissed her center again, but she moved. The ice cube slid off her stomach and left a line of water on her stomach. I kneeled beside her on the bed with one hand between her legs and the other came up to remove the blindfold. “You moved. What should I do with you?” I asked angrily, staring into her eyes. I moved my free hand to her neck and turned her head toward mine. My grip was starting to tighten and while I didn’t want to suffocate her, I couldn’t stop myself from becoming as aggressive as I did. She made to say something, but I squeezed her throat and pressed into her clit. She whimpered at the contact. I could strangely feel myself getting wetter at the sight of this woman giving complete control to me. The way she moaned indicated she was very turned on by this dominance from me and I wanted to give it to her. I let go of her throat and leaned down to kiss her once. She didn’t need to tell me anything for her eyes were just screaming, “Please!”

Taking some pity, I started circling her clit with two fingers harshly while biting and sucking one of her nipples. She managed to keep her noises down but loud enough so I could hear them. I allowed her to grind her hips in time with my touching until she climaxed. Soon after, my own desire had become too much and I hurried to clean off my fingers. I kneeled in front of her to tell her, “I’m going to sit on your face, alright?” She simply swallowed, breathed deeply, and spread her arms so I’d fit in between. “Yes, Mistress.” I crawled up her body before settling my legs on either side of her face. I reached down and closed my fist in her hair to pull it back and confirm, “Are you ready, Kat?”

“Anytime, Mistress.” With that, I lowered myself onto her precious mouth. She made good use of everything she could give me. She licked, sucked, and even bit me, though not too much. I kept her head in place with my hand in her hair and I kept myself in place with my hand against the wall. I hadn’t realized how turned on I was until it took me less than a minute to finish on her face. She kept licking me to help calm me down until I dismounted her and untied her. Her wrists had small indentations from her tie but she laughed when she saw them. Her eyes seemed to light up at the sight of her patterned wrists and I found it adorable in a weird, kinky kind of way. She removed her bra and laid down on her side next to me. She rested her head on my chest with her arms wrapped around my body. I had one arm around her shoulders to keep her close while my other hand simply caressed parts of her body. Her leg was as soft as everywhere else but much harder due to her muscles. I wrapped that around my hips as I turned to face her. I gazed upon her tranquil face where her eyes were closed and lips slightly parted. The contrast between her dark eyebrows and her light hair was ever present in the darkness of my room.

The moonlight that shone in through the window behind me lit her face up in a bright, halo-like light. She looked so peaceful, I almost regretted disturbing her. I held the side of her face and whispered, “Hey, Luisa.” She slowly opened her eyes to have them sparkle in the lighting before her voice of pure silk spoke. “Yes, Maus. You summoned me?” I couldn’t stop the smile I got at her word choice but continued with what I was doing. I slid my hand down her arm and made an attempt to at least run my fingers over the scar on the right side of her ribcage, but she caught my hand. “Don’t,” she warned, her eyes suddenly hard and cold. I slowly drew my hand away with a slight annoyance growing in the back of my mind. “Why can’t I touch you there?” I asked, my curiosity becoming too much. She turned onto her back to prevent me from seeing it easily and explained, “Because I’m different shades of fucked up. That’s just the basic one. And no, I am not going to tell you how I got it.” She sounded overly critical of herself and while I knew some people had self-esteem issues every now and again, she seemed to be actually berating herself for being the way she was. She covered her face with her hands for a few seconds before I could see the dry heaves racking her body. I removed her hands to see tear streaks down her face.

One of the rare occasions I saw Luisa cry in front of me. This was different than last time though. Last time, she seemed hurt, but this time, she seemed regretful. Her tone certainly sounded as regretful as she looked. She turned to me, buried her face in my chest, and lamented, “I’m sorry. I just thought you would leave me. I know your email was a joke, but I seriously thought I’d never see you again.” I hugged her for comfort and kissed the top of her head.

“No, I just don’t know yet. It’s complicated, but I can’t decide whether I should collar you or not.”

“You had thorough research. I don’t know either. I’ve never been collared.”

“Oh. Have you ever collared anyone else?” She looked me in the face with a look like she was deciding on whether to answer.

“Yes, I have. They seemed to like it so I assume I will.”

“Who?”

“Mrs. Robinson.” I didn’t know who that was but vaguely remembered her mentioning her to me at some point. When my expression told her that I didn’t know Mrs. Robinson, she wiped away her tears with laughter. “Long story short, I was her dominate for six years when I turned sixteen,” she casually told, throwing her head back in laughter. Luisa as a dominant? I’d ponder the thought later. Despite my wandering mind, I couldn’t stop the pang of jealousy and shock that went through me. She clearly saw this or else she wouldn’t have teased me for it. “Is Maus jealous?” Being petulant, I turned my back to her with my arms crossed over my chest. She wrapped her arms around me and kissed the nape of my neck. “It’s alright, Maus. Besides, it’s not like I’m having sex with her,” she tried coaxing, only triggering me a bit more.

“You still talk to her?” I sat up in a rush. She followed suit but didn’t answer my question. I curled into a small ball with my knees to my chest and looked at her. “Are you staying?” I asked, hoping she’d give me the night. She heaved out a breath and ran her fingers through her hair. “I’ve already told you, Maus. I don’t sleep with anyone. Besides, I have a meeting tomorrow morning anyway,” she explicated, not trying to hurt my feelings. I nodded solemnly as I watched her get up and get dressed. I decided to walk her out so I got up and dressed quickly. I took her hand and checked to see that Stacie wasn’t anywhere she could catch me. I led Luisa out to the front door and stood in front of her. “Wednesday?” she peeped, running her thumb back and forth over the back of my hand. The gesture made me warm into her front and hug her around the waist. I reached up and kissed her on the lips. “Wednesday,” I confirmed, barely holding my emotions together. I didn’t want her to leave, but she always did and I was wondering if there was any way to change that. Propose a new clause? Maybe. She turned to leave the apartment with an air of sorrow around her as if she was second-guessing herself. Then, I found her hands on my face and her lips on mine in a gentle but passionate kiss. I tenaciously held her waist as I fought back tears. She pulled away and rested her forehead on mine. “Whatever you’re doing to me . . . please, Maus. Don’t stop,” she whispers, her voice shaky. I kissed her again before whispering back, “I don’t think I know how.”

She let out an airy chuckle and then left the apartment without another word. I closed the door and then fell to the floor on the door. I began crying obscenely and pulled my knees up to my chest. Stacie seemed to hear me as she was coming down the stairs because instantly, she was at my side. “What did that sick good-looking bastard do now?”

“Nothing I didn’t want. I just don’t think our relationship is going anywhere.” I lifted my head to look at her, and she saw my sex-mussed hair.

“Oh, Beca. You’ve got sex hair. Quite honestly though, I think she’s just smitten with you.”

“I guess it’s all just so overwhelming. But how’s Aubrey?” Stacie instantly changed from serious to awestruck and silently, I envied her for having what she did. It was irrational, but I couldn’t help it. “She’s coming over Saturday to help us move,” she stated, helping me up.

“David called by the way. He says he can’t make it Thursday because Robert hurt himself. But Raymond wants you to call him.”

“Okay. I’ll call both in the morning.”

********

“Beca, sweetie, I’m so sorry we can’t make it,” my dad whined, sounding sincere.

“Dad, it’s fine. Raymond will be there.”

“Beca, you sound distracted. Are you okay?” Damn my father’s ability to sense trouble.

“Yeah, Dad. I’m fine. It’s just something with . . . school,” I lied, hoping he’d get off the subject.

“Did you meet someone?”

“No, Dad. I didn’t meet anyone.” I met the most beautiful human in the world and they turned out to be a kinky ass mother fucker who somehow still has emotions. “Anyway, I’ve got to go, Dad. Talk to you later.”

“Okay, sweetheart. I love you, you know that, right?” Tears form in my eyes from his words but I blink them away quickly.

“Yeah, I know. Love you too. Bye.”

“Bye.”

I hung up with my dad, then checked my email. Luisa emailed me the definition of Dominant. From there, we got into a small argument of how I was getting to her hotel tomorrow. I wanted to drive Keith, but she insisted on Pieter picking me up. Finally, when I made fair points, she agreed to let me drive myself the few miles. I then called Raymond like I said I would and went to bed. The next day was going to be stressful.

********

When I arrived at Luisa’s hotel in Stacie’s tight-ass dress, I didn’t know what to expect because we were supposed to be negotiating a contract about our sex life together. Saying it in my head even felt weird. There was just something about the meaning behind all of it that I felt uncomfortable with. I pushed open the door to the hotel and headed for the bar area where Luisa was supposed to meet me. I looked around and caught sight of her at the bar. She was wearing a black suit jacket, white shirt, and a black, knee-length pencil skirt. Her tie appeared to be a simple black string tied around her collar and her heels were short and simple. All black, like the rest of her outfit. Her hair was in an updo that looked to be a low braided bun with a few straying hairs to hang in her face while she adjusted her glasses higher up on her nose and took a deep breath. She gazed around the room with her drink in her hand and saw me. I saw her tensity release and she walked to me calmly. “Good evening, Maus.You look stunning as always,” she greeted, minor tremors in her voice noticeable. I didn’t think I’d ever see the day that Luisa Meyer was nervous, but here it was right in front of me. She gripped her drink tighter, swallowed hard, and took another deep breath.

“Are you nervous?” she asked to move the conversation along.

“Kind of.”

She leaned down cautiously and then whispered in my ear, “Me too. Let’s go somewhere else.” She took my hand in hers and pulled me to a booth in a far corner of the bar. The booth was in public, but far enough away for no one to care or notice, which I was thankful for. I didn’t know what I would have done if someone overheard us talking about this kinky ass shit. We sat down with her across from me and a glass of wine was set in front of me. I quickly thanked the waiter, then pulled out the contract as he walked away. “How about we get to this now?” I proposed, pulling out the papers. Luisa was taken a bit by surprise, but she managed to pull on her confidence and out my email. I had emailed her with all the problems I had with the clauses in the contract and I supposed she printed it out. “Impatient as ever, Maus,” she whispered, reviewing what I said in the email.

“Well, there are some things I can’t wait on,  _ Ms. Meyer _ .” I knew I was being kind of invective, but I slightly annoyed with this situation. “Besides, it’s not like this contract is legally enforceable.”

“I know that. Which is why there are many clauses that allow you to get out of this relationship. This would be based on trust and honesty. Why do you think I didn’t ask you to stop the other night when you had your hand around my throat? That’s because  . . . I trust you, Beca. I can trust you with my body, to know my limits as well as yours. Plus, if we can’t be honest with each other, then this won’t work out. So, do you trust me?” I actually had to think about this. Did I trust Luisa? I mean, she helped me when I was alcoholically inebriated so I guess?

“Yeah, I trust you.” The look in her eyes gave almost no indication as to what she was thinking, but I could formulate a response based on her body language. She had pressed her thighs together because she always sat up straighter when she did, one hand was balled into a fist, and she was desperately trying to not bite her lip. But she failed and ended up pulling her lip with her teeth. She instantly looked down at the food that was put in front of us. We sat in silence while the waiter organized everything. Black cod and asparagus. Great. When he was gone, I reached over and pulled her lip out. “Don’t bite your lip,” I whispered huskily, glaring her in the eyes. She took a deep breath and then held my email in front of her as she took a bite of her cod. I took that as a sign that I could start so I began eating and she ran through my notes all at once.

“Clause 2. Agreed, this for the benefit of both of us. I’ll rewrite that. My sexual health is fine. I get tested every six months and my most recent ones were clear. About hurting me, the most I’ve been hurt was a long time ago when I was suspended from the playroom ceiling. She had tied the rope too tightly. And unless you really want to try it, I’d really make it a hard limit. I’m neutral about it so. Anyway, the ownership thing. It’s simply terminology that emphasizes my role in relation to you. You can fuck me anytime you want, anywhere you want, and any way you want. You can punish me when I misbehave and keep in mind we can build up to scenarios which involve serious punishment and such since I know you haven’t done this before,” she explains matter-of-factly.

I found myself inherently drawn to her. She had a passion in her eyes about this that she looked a million times cuter than she normally did. It was clear this was what she obsessed about when she was bored. She seemed to sense me getting lost in her words and clarified, “Still with me, Maus? Or did you get lost in some dark fantasy of me?” I snapped myself out of the peaceful but strangled reverie of mine and focused back on her. She smirked, took another bite of her food, and continued, “Because if you are, you know my suite is just upstairs.” I grimaced at her before eating some more and finishing my plate. I pushed that to the side and gazed at her. She leaned onto the table to match me and our faces were mere inches apart. I moved closer as if I was going to kiss her and whispered, “Oh, Kitty Kat. I wouldn’t give you the satisfaction of seducing me.” I pulled away in an instant and went on to soft limits. She was left where she was with a shocked expression on her face. She looked around before sitting back up. She squirmed in her seat and I could see her want veiling her eyes. I glanced at my notes on the Soft Limits section, then explained my problems with it while also answering the questions.

“With regard to anything involving the ass, including fisting, plugs etc., I demand to be removed. Neither one of us has a legitimate dick so it’s pointless to do anything there. To answer the questions, yes I will blindfold, gag, and occasionally hurt you. The genital clamps . . . I’ll try them on you, as long as you’re fine with them. On that scale, I’m willing to inflict enough pain to make you cry but not if I’m actually hurting you. Does that make sense?”

“You’ll make me cry, but not to the point where I am screaming for mercy?”

“Exactly.” With that sense of finality, I slipped the contract back in the envelope it came in and stared at Luisa. She had similarly folded the email up and placed it in her jacket pocket when I perceived her plate was empty as well. “Changes are noted. And I shall redraft,” she affirmed, looking to me for confirmation. I nodded and responded, “And I shall review the changes and let you know soon.” She seemed disappointed that she wouldn’t get a response immediately, but I still needed to think.

“What about dessert? Are you hungry for that?” she proposed, obviously stalling my departure.

“I wouldn’t mind unwrapping you for dessert.” I knew she had her own sexual game to play, and I just had to play along to beat her. She seemed unphased by my answer, but I knew she was imagining what I was telling her. She decided to enhance the fantasy forming in both our minds by adding in subtle details. “Is that so? I guess that means you’re staying,” she inquired, flashing an innocent look over the rim of her glasses.

“Not at all. But you know, I could be convinced.”

“If you were to stay, what would you do?” Her voice dropped about an entire octave and I felt so turned on. I thought for a second before coming to a consensus.

“First, I’d help you out of that tight skirt of yours,” I dictated, flicking the edge of her skirt with a few fingers. She gasped lightly and reflexively pulled away from my hand. Her lips parted and I continued. “Then, I’d bend you over the edge of this table.”

“Right . . . here,” she breathed, leaning down to place a hand on the table where she wanted to be fucked. Her voice was deeper than before and I found it difficult to concentrate on anything but the pleading begs and exasperated moans that would leave her if I did any of what I was saying. “Yes. I’ll fuck you with four fingers but won’t let you come.”

“What would you do then?” she half whimpered, the fantasy getting to her core.

“I’d fuck you until you just reach the edge and beg to be relieved. I’d want you sweating and I’d use your tie as a collar.” The images became too much for her to handle and she instinctively bit her lip hard. I knew my job was finished because I knew I had her turned on and I was so wet that I feared I left a spot on my dress. I had to get out of there before I had lost control. I abruptly stood with my purse in my hand and told Luisa, “Thank you for the meeting.” She stood with me, took my hand, and led me out to the valet service.

“It was my pleasure, Maus.” Her hand was hot and slightly clammy but I chocked that up to be a result of our verbal fucking. The valet pulled up in Keith and handed me the keys. Luisa looked shocked at my car like she hadn’t seen a classic car before. But it was anything but. “You drive this?” she asked incredulously.

“Yeah. What’s the problem?”

“Are you sure you can drive this?”

“Yes, Luisa. He may be a bit old, but he’s reliable . . . enough.” The shock on her face told me she still didn’t approve and I could see a dirty plan forming in her head. I shook it off and kissed her once. She didn’t want me to go, I could tell, but I had to. All this was so overwhelming. I stepped into the driver side of Keith and was about to close the door when she held it open. “Why do I feel like you’re telling me goodbye?”

“Because I am. Until next time, Ms. Meyer.”

********

When I get home, I find an email from Luisa:

 

**_To:_ ** _ Beca Mitchell _

**_Subject:_ ** _ Tonight _

**_From:_ ** _ Luisa Meyer _

_ I don’t understand why you ran tonight. I hope we figured everything out and I know I gave you a lot to think about, but I hope you seriously consider this. I really want to make this work. We can take it slow. _

_ Trust me. _

_ Luisa Meyer _

 

Reading this, I couldn’t find a way to answer. All I could think about were the various times she told me to stay away from her.

_ You should steer clear of me. _

_ I don’t do the girlfriend thing. _

_ I don’t make love. _

_ This is all I know. _

I climbed into my pajamas, then my bed. This was all I knew too. Maybe, just maybe . . . we could start over together.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a lot of sex. Fair warning.

**Beca**

 

_ Luisa was strapped to the bed with one limb at each bedpost. I had tied her in with the red rope so she could only move enough to squirm. She was gagged and blindfolded with her hair loose around her head. She was spread at waist level to me so all I had to do was lean down. I wore nothing but my undergarments while she only wore a genital clamp around her clitoris, which caused it to enlarge slightly. She was sensitive, just the way I liked her, and every time I ran the edge of the riding crop down her body, she pulled at her ropes with a strangled moan. The soft lighting of the room sparkled against the sweat beading on her skin and basked her tan body in golden lighting. The way her muscles clenched in all the right places made me wet and begged me to release her. I couldn’t see her eyes, but I could tell from her heavy breathing that she was close. We had hand signals for when I gagged her: rapid opening and closing her hand meant she was close to her endurance while violently shaking her hand meant to stop everything. I looked at her hands to see them opening and closing quickly. I didn’t want her to come before I had finished with my sexual punishment so I climbed onto the bed between her legs. I rested on my knees as I set the whip aside and leaned forward onto my hands. I rocked onto one hand while the other went to take the clamp off her. _

_ As soon as it was off her, I could feel the difference of how this started. The clamp was cold and dry when I put it on her, but now it was hot and wet with her clit large and swollen. God, that was a beautiful sight. I did nothing further and crawled up her body to hover over her. I kept her legs spread by my own and watched her squirm beneath me at the rush of cool air to her hot center. I leaned down to place biting kisses up the side of her neck while I undid the ball gag with one hand. As soon as she was free to speak, she begged, “God, please.” I latched onto her earlobe for a second before whispering back, “Please what?” She pulled tightly at ropes with closed fists and tried to arch her hips into mine as she groaned. She didn’t respond so I pulled her hair harshly and demanded of her again, “Please what?!” _

_ “Please, Mistress! Please . . . make me come.” _

_ “That’s right, Kitty Kat.” I took my hand from her hair and trailed it down her body with my fingertips just grazing her skin. I placed it between her legs and lazily drew light circles around her throbbing sex. She whimpered helplessly and bucked into my hand for more. Knowing how close she was, I pressed harder. She moaned louder and eased up her grinding. I felt my underwear get soaked in my own fluids at the sounds she was making and hurried her along so I could relieve myself on her. I kissed and sucked at her pulse point and shoved three fingers inside her as I pressed intensely into her clit. She screamed vehemently, tensed her muscles, and came brutally. My hand was wetter than ever before and I didn’t waste time to calm her down. I tore the blindfold from her eyes to be met with the darkest blue and biggest pupils. Her eyes were slightly wet, indicating tears, but I couldn’t control myself at this point. I invaded her mouth with my tongue and kissed her passionately. “I’m going to show you what you do to me,” I groaned, staring her in the eyes. Still tied up, all she could do was watch. _

_ I showed her my wet hand of her fluids before sticking it in my underwear and stimulating my clit quickly. I groaned and looked for her reaction. I knew she wanted to kiss me, touch me, fuck me, but I wouldn’t let her. She leaned her head forward to capture my lips and I backed away from her. “No touching, Kat.” To make sure she didn’t try it again, I repositioned my free hand onto her chest while gripping her chin with my whole hand so my forearm supported me from her chest. I wasn’t choking her, merely pushing her head back into the bed. I stared into her eyes as long as I could without closing them momentarily to ride out my orgasm. When I opened my eyes again, she was watching my hand in my panties and biting her lip. I removed my hand from her face and my underwear. I held up my wet hand and told her, “Open.” She opened her mouth enough for my fingers to fit and I stuck only my fingertips in just so she could only taste and not fully enjoy. She moaned for more but I took them out and kissed her instead. It sounded disturbing at first, but she apparently enjoyed the feeling of a wet hand on her body. Wet with specifically her own or my fluids. I kissed her as I dragged my wet hand down her slick body until I wasn’t wet anymore. When that was done, I untied her and had her kneel in front of the bed. I used the whip to adjust her gaze to mine, then kissed her. “You’re free to go, Kitty.” _

I woke up in shock. Had I just dreamed that? I took a deep breath and came to my senses. I could feel a wetness down there and knew I had orgasmed in my sleep. The aroma of cinnamon sex permeated my mind but more so my horror at my pretend actions. Would I truly be that violent in real life? Does she truly enjoy that kind of humiliation? There was too much to think about. I sat up in bed, rubbed my eyes, and noticed Stacie at my doorway. “Is something wrong, Becs? Did you sleep well?” I smiled sardonically, looked at her, and straight up told her, “I had a sex dream.” I had to admire the openness Stacie and I had with each other. We could tell each other anything (well, not so much now with the NDA) and not be judgemental about it. The shock on her face left me in shock. I loved those moments when Stacie was completely floored and and speechless. I hopped out of bed in my shorts and t-shirt and went downstairs for breakfast. Our graduation was later that afternoon so we had the entire day to do whatever. We decided to spend it packing and listening to music varying from sexual hip hop to angry rock, the former her choices, the latter mine. All the time I was thinking about that dream, that contract, that blonde.

********

By the time we had to get ready for graduation, my dad Raymond had shown up. I was running around wrapped in a towel because I had just got out of the shower and was about to get dressed. Stacie, who was already dressed and ready to go, led him to the living room that was packed up while I went to go get dressed. Stacie laid out a dress for me and I quickly changed into it only to realize the dress clung to my body in a way that only revealed my sexuality. I groaned a bit, but hurried into my gown and cap before we left.

When the ceremony started, I found myself seated between two douchebags who were talking obscenely about Luisa. She was on stage in her typical grey skirt suit combo, small grey heels, and  _ that tie _ . Images of her naked body tied with that tie came to mind and I squirmed in my seat to keep from that going too far. She wore that tie on purpose, I knew it. She had her usual ponytail and framing pieces with her glasses, but she crossed her legs at the ankles and had her hands folded kindly in her lap. I instantly thought of the various submissive positions I could tell her to take and once again squirmed in my seat. The guys around me were not very quiet about their conversation. “I’d tap that ass . . . any day,” one oogled.

“God, I’d fuck her brains out,” the other added. It didn’t matter to them who Luisa was, they just objectified her because she was beautiful. Or as they said, “Hot as fuck.” I inherently chuckled at their immaturity with a bit of malice toward them boiling in the back of my mind and they heard me. “What’s so funny?” one asked, triggered. I stared dumbfounded at him, then turned to his partner before pointing to Luisa and telling them, “I’m pretty sure she’s gay. So even if you did manage to get her back to your dorm, you couldn’t  _ fuck  _ her if you wanted to. In simple terms, she ain’t gonna like yo’ dick.” The disdain on their faces reminded me of toddlers being punished for stupid shit and one even crossed his arms and pouted a bit. God, college boys had no clue. I turned back to the stage and everyone erupted in applause because Stacie was on stage. She was the valedictorian who naturally had to give a speech. Her theme was, “What Happens Now?” Her first joke made the guys next to me loosen up and the rest of her speech was full of jokes.

Applause rang through the gym when she finished her speech and sat back down. Next, the chancellor of the school went to the podium to introduce Luisa. He briefly touched on her accomplishments before she was allowed up to the microphone. She cleared her throat, then began to speak really roughly. She paused, cleared her throat again and commented, “Well that sounded gorgeous.” The sarcasm was welcomed in the awkward moment and everyone, including myself, laughed. She could be so funny at times. Once the silence was brought back, she continued with her actual speech. “I’m profoundly grateful and touched by the great compliment accorded to me by the authorities of BUS today. It offers me a rare opportunity to talk about the impressive work of the environmental science department here at the university. Our aim is to develop viable and ecologically sustainable methods of farming for third-world countries; our ultimate goal is to help eradicate hunger and poverty across the globe. Over a billion people, mainly in Sub-Saharan Africa, South Asia, and Latin America, live in abject poverty. Agricultural dysfunction is rife within these parts of the world, and the result is ecological and social destruction. I have known what it is like to be profoundly hungry. This is a very personal journey for me . . . “

I stopped where I was. Luisa was hungry? Certainly Grace didn’t starve her so it must have happened before then. Adopted at age twelve, that was what Stacie’s article said. All I could imagine then was a tall, lanky pre-teen with bright blue eyes that was starved either intentionally or circumstantially. I hated the thought either way. I shook in my seat from pure rage. How could someone do this to her? It wasn’t fair. Everyone around me stood in a rush and I followed suit, trying to get a glimpse of Luisa. She caught my gaze between the crowd and all I could portray to her was sympathy. She at first seemed resistant to it until she returned a grateful look and stepped back to hand out the diplomas. The chancellor read off the names and we went up one by one. My name was like number 342 and by that time, everyone wasn’t paying attention. All the magic had faded from it. I walked across stage to where Luisa was standing and she handed me my diploma. “Congratulations, Maus,” she greeted warmly. I took my diploma, shook her hand, and retorted, “Thank you, Ms. Meyer.” I wanted to walk away, but I couldn’t. Her eyes looked pleading in a way. I knew it meant two things. She was subconsciously asking if I would agree to the contract and recollecting her thoughts on her unknown past. I couldn’t stop myself once I had done it, but I was close to crying anyway.

I lunged forward and grabbed her around the waist. Before I knew it, I was hugging Luisa Meyer in front of a thousand people. I buried my face in her chest, which caused my cap to fall off, and hugged her tighter. I was that embarrassing one, damnit. To my surprise, she hugged me back tentatively. I felt her warmth and her pounding heart in that moment and made a decision within myself. I breathed away my tears with her cinnamon scent before adjusting my head to look her in the eyes. “I’ll try . . . for you,” I whispered just loud enough so only she could hear me. The shock on her face gave me enough indication. I pulled away enough for her to tighten her grip and ask, “Does this mean?”

In the next second, I had kissed her lips once, started walking away, and turned back to her. “Be ready to submit, Kitty Kat,” I said sexually, smirking evilly at her. A bright smile slowly spread across her face at the affirmation and I couldn’t help the light feeling derived from seeing that smile. Her eyes lit up with her smile and I was mesmerized. I had to snap myself out of that focus and walk back to my seat where the guy in front of me looked very critical of me. “What? I told you she was gay.”

********

The reception afterward wasn’t much better. Raymond took pictures of me and Stacie in our gowns, which I was not appreciative about. When I could finally take it off, Stacie had brought me to meet the rest of her family who were all super nice. I already knew them so it was more like a reunion than anything, but it was still important. Luisa came up to me and Raymond after a while with no intention of introducing herself. Unfortunately for me, Stacie did that for me when she barged in. “Hey, Raymond. Have you met Luisa Meyer? Beca’s girlfriend?” she popped, immediately retreating to her family. She knew all too well I’d smack her for that. Raymond looked genuinely surprised at the fact and greeted Luisa as such. They had a small conversation about rock climbing I completely zoned out of before I left to hang with Stacie and her family for a while. I thought over what I agreed to do with Luisa. The various clauses in the contract hung over my head like a piano on a thread, what would eventually kill me. The boredom around me was slowly killing me. I thought about one in particular that said I could have her anywhere deemed fit. I looked around, spotted an empty hallway, and went back to Luisa.

They had moved onto other topics and turned to me when I approached. Raymond excused himself to go to the bathroom and I took Luisa by the hand. She looked confused at what I was doing, but when we got into the dark, empty hallway, she knew what was going to happen. “Anywhere and anytime I wanted,” I explained, pressing her against the wall. She chuckled and accepted my desperate kisses. She held onto my face while I ran my hands up her thighs to hike her tight skirt up. Even in the darkness, I could see the desire in her eyes. I tugged on her tie and commanded, “Off.” She took off the tie with my tongue deep in her mouth and handed it to me. Automatically, her hands were offered to be tied up without question. “Good girl,” I whispered, binding her wrists together. I moved her hands so her wrists were behind her head with little to no chance of her moving them. I removed her glasses so she could barely see me in the dark before slowly and agonizingly unbuttoning her shirt. I beheld the way she looked in the dark at the moment and felt the wetness between my legs. I found it weird how the sight of Luisa tied up and helpless turned me on, but I couldn’t stop myself from licking my lips. She panted from want and bit her lip harshly. I knew she wanted it so badly and I was going to give it to her. I pressed myself against her and whispered into her ear, “What do you want me to do, Kitty?”

I ran my fingers between her legs and pressed them into her wet underwear to tease her. An airy moan left her, but I cut her off. I pulled on her earring with my teeth and whispered, “Should I touch you or kiss you?”

“God, touch me, Mistress,” she begged, breathing directly into my ear. Her hot breathing turned me on more and I acted quickly. Using my hips wisely, I slipped two fingers into her and bit down on her neck. The immediate response was a loud moan and her legs nearly gave out on her. She was so wet I assumed she had been thinking for a while and enjoyed the thought of her thinking about sex while shaking other people’s hands. Albeit a bit strange, funny nonetheless. As if automatically, She ground her hips back into mine in a desperate attempt to gain more friction. My free hand found its way up her body and came to cup her breast. I rolled her nipple in between my fingers while circling her clit with my thumb. She whimpered helplessly in my arms and I loved it. I kissed underneath her ear and breathed, “So close, yet so far.” She was close, that much was obvious, and she tried everything to get there faster. Unfortunately, I slowed my pace enough to annoy her, but didn’t stop.

I pulled away, looked her in the face, and she was struggling to look semi-normal. Her eyes were closed, but her eyebrows occasionally pulled together when she felt something. “Look at me,” I told her, still grinding into her. She reluctantly opened her eyes, though when she did, she was enraptured by me. I must’ve looked pretty intimidating if she looked slightly fearful. I just wanted to remind her of something. I moved my hand from her chest to her wrists and held them above her head. Our faces were mere inches apart, which gave me some advantage. I gazed into her eyes and gritted through clenched teeth, “Who’s pussy is this?” I pushed deep into her to force an answer out of her, but I just got a loud moan instead.

“Y-Yours . . . M-Mistress,” was the needing response I got. She kept her eyes open and her mouth because she confused breathing and moaning. Her eyes were dark and her mouth was watering almost. “Make sure I know that, Kitty,” I told her, shoving my tongue in her mouth. I added a third finger and relentlessly thrusted into her. Within a few seconds, she came hard. She struggled to keep herself up after that and I helped her stay up though I wasn’t very strong. I placed her arms around my neck and helped her calm down with gentle kisses and gradual removal of my fingers. I licked them clean before looking to her. “You alright, Kat?” I asked, nuzzling her neck. She chuckled, then nuzzled the side of my head.

“Ja, I’m fine. Thanks for asking. I can barely see though.”

“That’s okay. You won’t need to see for the next part.” I fixed her skirt but left her shirt open and flipped positions.

“What are you doing, Maus?” I held her waist, kissed her once, and smirked.

“It’s not what  _ I’m _ doing. It’s what  _ you’re _ doing. On your knees, now,” I informed, lowering her to her ground. She seemed to understand what was going on and went along with it as she positioned herself between my legs in a kneeled position. Her arms were still around my neck, but luckily I was short enough that her arm length spanned the length of my torso. Without needing to be told, she nestled her head inside my dress and pulled the thong I was wearing off with her teeth. I held her head in place as she proceeded to lick and suck every place she felt it necessary. It didn’t take long for me to come, but when I did, I fell into her lap. I instantly clutched her collar and passionately kissed her. She kissed me back with just as much passion while her tongue slipped into my mouth and her arms slid down to my waist. She pulled me closer and kissed down my neck. I leaned into her light biting and reached back to untie her hands. As soon as they were free, she immediately grabbed my face in her hands and placed deep kisses on my lips. “Is there any way I could convince you to stay the night? Or the weekend?” she pleaded, staring into my eyes. She looked like she was pouting a bit and I couldn’t stop myself from playing with her cheeks in my hands.

“You know you’re adorable when you beg?”

“Maybe my adorableness will be enough for you to come over sometime?” I huffed out a breath. Damn she was persistent. I kissed down her neck and across her open chest to fix her clothes, but she just pushed her chest into my face for some ungodly reason. I bit one quickly and looked back to her. She was biting her lower lip and pushing a piece of hair behind my ear. She was so beautiful I couldn’t stop. I kissed her, then told her, “Stacie and I are moving this weekend, but I can come over tonight and Sunday if that’s alright with you.”

“Okay. I can live with that. For now. Next weekend, you’re all mine. Well, I’m all yours, but you know.”

We kissed a few more times before getting off the floor and fixing our clothes. I left Luisa’s shirt untucked with a few buttons popped but her tie was also loose. I gave her back her glasses, then took her ponytail out. I draped her hair down one shoulder and ran my hand through it once or twice. “You’re going to make me have a fetish for blondes, goddamnit,” I scolded, pulling slightly on her hair. We kissed once more and walked out of the hallway hand in hand. No one noticed our entrance again, but Stacie clearly knew what happened. She stalked over toward us and admonished, “You animals! You’re lucky I can’t hit you right now, Beca. But instead as punishment . . . “ She called over a photographer to take our picture and before he took our picture, Luisa pulled me into her arms and kissed the side of my head. When the photographer had left, Stacie stood there in shock. “The point of the picture was to embarrass you. You weren’t supposed to revel in it,” she protested, throwing her arms in the air and walking to her family. Luisa laughed at the dark haired girl’s antics, hugged me again, and admitted, “I have to go now, but I’ll see you at my place later?”

“Yes, Kat. I have things to do with Raymond anyway.”

“Laters, Maus.”

********

Hours later, I found myself standing in Luisa’s suite with a glass of champagne. “To you, Maus. For everything you’ve done and everything you’re going to do,” Luisa toasted, holding her glass up. I imitated her actions and drank a good portion of my drink. We stood in front of a large window overlooking Savannah and Luisa pulled me closer by the waist. She poured more liquid into my glass then kissed me like she didn’t do anything. “You sneaky little bitch. You’re just trying to get me drunk aren’t you?”

“Maybe, Maus. I mean, you are looser when you are drunk.” I couldn’t deny that she had a point so I just finished the entirety of my drink. I set my glass down and wobbled as I tried to stand again, the alcohol rushing through my bloodstream. I breathed deeply, steadied myself on Luisa, and looked to her. “I think it’s working,” I told her, her image slightly shaky. I was barely tipsy, but I knew I needed to stop drinking. She held me in her strong arms as she gave me a kiss to focus me. “It seems you are open to a lot now, ja?”

“More than I would be sober.” My speech wasn’t slurred, but it was obvious I had something to drink.

“Great because I got you something.” She had a wicked smirk on her face and I knew it had to be something expensive. I instantly didn’t like it. I didn’t know what it was, but if she bought it, it was clearly over what half my salary was. She took my hand, despite the annoyed expression adorning my face in that moment, and led me to the car garage next to her hotel. When she stopped me, in front of me was parked a 2018 Lincoln Continental in black. It even looked expensive.

My first reaction was shock no doubt. The second was pure rage. I was furious with Luisa for buying this for me. I didn’t show my anger enough because she was still smiling when she handed me the key. Once I gawked at her with the key in my hand and a dumbfounded look on my face, the smile faded from her face. She stood complacently to the side of me with her hands knitted together and her head down, probably scolding herself. “I’ve upset you,” she peeped, stating the obvious.

“Clearly! You can’t just do this Luisa!” I screamed, being a bit irrational. She simply stood there with her head down and accepted my harshness. I saw her body quiver with the deep exhalation, but knew she had to learn. I lowered my tone a bit before speaking again. “There had to be some reason you got me this. What is it?”

“I was worried about you. Your car—”

“My car is fine. Sure, he doesn’t work one hundred percent of the time, but he’s reliable enough.” She was silent after. She didn’t say a word, which was good because I felt like hitting her, and remained such until she felt she could. All the while I was deciding what to do. I wanted to punish her, but I didn’t know what was suitable. Certainly she didn’t have anything from her playroom in her suite, so I had to go with the classic: spanking. I huffed out a breath and took her hand. I started to drag her back to her hotel room and she asked, “Are you going to punish me?”

“Yes. But this is simply a warning.”

“Oh, okay.” She sounded happy but disappointed at the same time. I didn’t know what to make of it, but I ignored it as I shoved her back into the living room. She was once again silent and followed my instructions. “I’m going to spank you then fuck you hard, got it? So remove everything but your shirt.” She did as I said and left her bra, panties, and shirt on. She still had her hair down with her glasses on. I never realized how hot someone could look with glasses on, but she managed to sexualize everything she did/wore/etc.. “Now turn around with your hands on the back of the couch.” She followed instructions. I quickly removed her glasses and moved her hair out of the way. I stood to the side of her with one hand firmly on her shoulder to prevent her from moving too much and the other removing her underwear.

I placed my hand gently on her ass and looked at her profile. She looked straight ahead and never looked at me as I asked her the simple question, “Do you know why I’m punishing you?”

She hesitated before answering, “Because I bought you something.”

“Something I didn’t want. Now do you think that’s fair to me?”

“No.”

“No, what?”

“No, Mistress.”

“Now be quiet.” I drew my hand back before pulling it back to smack her ass firmly. She didn’t make a sound except for the small gasp. Her grip on the couch tightened with every smack I inflicted, but loosened when I gently rubbed her cheek. I slapped her again and again. As I was smacking her, I felt an inherent wetness develop between my legs and I didn’t know how I felt about it. Inflicting pain should not have turned me on, but it did. Every time I spanked her, she gasped louder and louder until she began to moan aloud. I knew she was biting her lip, but didn’t care enough to amend it. When I finished, I had smacked her eighteen times. Her ass was fairly red and so was my hand. I hadn’t even felt the pain of smacking her, but now I did. My hand began to throb at the feeling, though I knew she was hurting worse. Time to fuck her.

I gave her ass a gentle kiss before making her stand up and sit on the back of the couch. She was about eye level with me and I loved it. I stripped my dress and undergarments quickly before going to finish unwrapping her. She kept her hands off to her sides as I held her face to kiss her lips softly. I tucked some hair behind her ear and ran my fingers through the delicate strands. I looked her in the eyes while I explained, “Listen, Kitty. I’m not mad with you. I appreciate the gift, I really do, but you could’ve at least told me first. Promise you’ll consult me for gifts over a thousand?”

“Alright, Maus. I won’t do it again.”

“Now, let’s get you fucked.” She smiled again at my blatancy and allowed me to have her no questions asked. I kissed down the side of her glorious neck with an occasional bite as I pushed her shirt off her shoulders since it was already open and unclasped her bra. Sliding the garment down her shoulders, I licked my lips at the sight of the pure goddess in front of me. No words seemed able to describe how she reeked of untainted sex and beauty. I wanted to destroy her so badly. I threw the bra to the side and sucked individually at both her nipples while wrapping her legs around my hips. She moaned at the contact and her hand came to rest at the back of my head for more. I finished my chest play and held her waist firmly as I pushed her back to drape her sculpted body over the couch. She laid at an angle to me and she had to angle her head down to look me in the face. I removed her hand from my head and pushed her arms beside her head so she could support herself from falling onto the floor. I positioned her legs onto my shoulders before leaning down to kiss her clitoris. She arched off the couch while her head fell back and a loud moan reverberated off the walls. “That’s it, Kat. Just relax,” I whispered, continuing my gentle kissing.

I kissed and licked her until she came with an obscene German scream. I moved her to lay on the couch with her legs half hanging off the side of the couch. I crawled in between her legs to kiss her passionately and press our bodies together. She was so warm and soft it felt like I was spooning a warm marshmallow. She even tasted like sugar. She was too beautiful for me to contain myself. I fit my hand between us and circled my clit with two fingers. I pulled away from our kisses for air and propped myself up on my unoccupied hand. She saw what I was doing and realized what to do. She held my face and kissed me sensually with a bit of tongue. She kissed up the side of my jawline and moved her hands to my chest. “God, it’s like I have my own porn star,” I breathed, biting my lip. My orgasm was coming and I could feel the starts of it. She pulled my earlobe a little before whispering, “There’s a difference between me and a porn star . . . I’m right here to fuck you any way you want.” She slipped her fingers inside me at the end of her statement to emphasize her point and I nearly came then. I held myself above her with both hands while she fucked me with two fingers alone. She kept kissing my neck as I ground into her hand for more friction. Eventually, I had enough of her teasing.

“God, fuck me!” At my request, she drove another finger into me with her thumb around my clit. We picked up a regular pace to where I was essentially grinding into her. Her free hand clasped the back of my neck and dug her fingernails into me. I bit down hard on her neck when I came raggedly onto her hand. She moaned her pleasure in being bitten before thrusting into me a few more times for me ride out my climax. “God, yeeeeeeeeeeessssss,” I heaved, falling limply onto her chest. She cleaned her fingers and stroked my back.

“It’s called stamina, Maus. You’ll need plenty of it.”

“I’ll be sure to work on it, Kitty Kat.” We laughed heartily for a second before falling asleep right there on the couch. In her arms, I had warm dreams of me and Luisa living happily together. When I woke up in the middle of the night, I found Luisa curled into my side like a child. She was so adorable I couldn’t resist pressing a kiss to her forehead and whispering, “Sleep tight, Lu. We’ll figure this out . . . together.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> KINKY SEX!!!

**Luisa**

 

Sunday couldn’t have come sooner. I was dying of anticipation yesterday because I hadn’t seen Maus at all after she left. My ass was slightly sore, I admitted eventually, but it wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle. So when she got to my apartment that afternoon, I was eager to get her to dominate me completely. I was sitting on my couch while reading a book and waiting for her to get here. Suddenly, I found a familiar weight in my lap the size of my Maus and placed my book off to the side to be met with a wonderfully tender kiss on the lips. “Hey, Beautiful,” she whispered, holding my face gently. I could no longer deny the feeling I felt deep inside me when she did things like this. I held her waist, looked her in the eyes, and just stared. Her eyes were the deepest and beautiful blue I had ever seen from anyone in my life, which was why she reminded me so much of  _ her _ . I actively refused to say  _ her _ name or  _ her _ exact relation to me, so she simply was  _ her  _ or  _ she _ . I wouldn’t even think about  _ him _ . Beca smoothed some hair behind my ears and kissed me awake. “Oh, Kitty Kat. You can’t think straight, can you?” She giggled, then kissed me again. Pulling me up off the couch, she held me around the waist and looked up at me. I wrapped my arms around her neck before responding, “Not around you. Especially since I’m not even straight.”

We shared a good laugh and stood still in each other’s arms. I felt the need to tell her my feelings, but I didn’t know if she’d reciprocate or if I truly meant it. I wasn’t one hundred percent sure about any of my emotions so being sure about something I had never felt before I met her seemed impossible. “Hey, Maus. I . . . I . . . “ I started, avoiding eye contact. I needed to tell her, but I couldn’t.

“What is it, Kitty?” She adjusted my gaze to hers and looked me in the eyes. I had to tell her something and I wanted to show her some affections I knew I had.

“I just wanted to tell you that . . . I’m willing to try hearts and flowers.”

“What?” Her shock was palpable. “I thought you didn’t do the girlfriend thing?”

“Well, since you’re willing to try this and since I’ve been introduced to your father as your girlfriend, I thought you at least deserve the occasional date. Like one every week or something, I don’t know. I don’t know this kind of thing.” She was smiling wide and I felt a spark inside me at the sight. I involuntarily smiled back at her, but awkwardly.

“God, you really are adorable. Thank you, Luisa. But, right now . . . I  _ really _ want to try this.” Her smile grew to a smirk and a devious look appeared on her face. I thought I knew what she doing so I played along. Given I actually no clue what she was doing, I was surprised when she pulled me by my hand upstairs to the one locked door I have: my Playroom. “Unlock it. I want to show you how good my research was,” she teased, seeing me pull out the key.

As soon as the door was unlocked, she pushed through urgently and breathed in the citrus and leather scent. She stood in the very center of the room in old shorts and a tank top, then looked to me. I stepped into the room and started to ask, “Do you want the door—”

“Shhh. I’ll take care of that, but for now . . . “ she held up two crossed fingers with her forefinger in front of her middle finger.  _ Remain silent until otherwise instructed. _ She used the designated hand signals to direct me. Instantly, I was her submissive. The corresponding desire came as well and I tried not to bite my lip. One finger pointed to a spot on the floor.  _ Stand on the point _ . I walked to the center of the room in front of her where she pointed and looked for the next instruction. Roundabout motion with the same finger then two pointed down.  _ Get undressed and kneel with eyes down. _ I watched her with my peripherals as I unbuttoned my shirt and slipped out of my boots. I tossed those over to the side and went to my pants. I could see her wandering around the room as if she was looking for her first implement and she came back with something I couldn’t see. I slid out of my underwear and was about to toss them to the side when she interjected, “Oh no you don’t.”

She took the pair from my hand and made me watch as she balled them up in her fist and breathed in the scent of my desire deeply. I imagined they smelled like sex and left it at that while she tucked them away in the back pocket of her shorts. I kept my eyes down and kneeled in front of her like she told me to before. Laying my hands palm up on my thighs, I prepared for her domination. “What to do to you first?” she began, padding toward me. I couldn’t see her but saw the end of a black riding crop appear between my legs and creep its way up the center of my body. She made sure the leather brushed my clit before it ascended up my stomach, between my breasts, and underneath my chin. She pulled up on the crop to force my face up to hers. She wore nothing but her shorts with her hair pulled back into a high ponytail. She left my hair down as I imagined it was for her to pull on. She used the riding crop to point to the various cuffs attached to the canopy above the bed behind me and asked, “Which do you want to be bound with?” I didn’t need to look to know how I wanted to be restrained.

“The black leather cuffs directly above my head.” I heard the jingling of metal against metal then saw my favorite pair of cuffs in her hands. She asked me for my wrists and I willingly gave them up for her. She tightened the buckles on them before taking the clasp between them in her fist and pulling me up onto my feet. Mistress guided me to the large iron square I had hanging and attached my cuffs to that so my hands were above my head. “Look at me,” she instructed, her voice firm. I raised my head to look her in the face and watched her use the crop on me. She invaded my space, dragged the edge of the implement up the inside of my leg, and trailed it around to my ass where she planted a light smack. I gasped and tugged at the cuffs in response before she repeated the same action to my other cheek. Positioning herself behind me, she kissed my shoulders individually. Her kisses traced down my spine, but then back up. She took her time to turn me on, despite how desperate I was already. Hands on my hips, she kissed underneath my ear gently. She proceeded to explain, “I know what I’m going to do. I’m going to fuck you three times. Once, here.” She glanced back to the wall behind me. “Then there.” She motioned to the bed, “And finally . . . there.”

“Each time, I’m going to get rougher and hurt you harder. Understand me?” she concluded, her breath hot against my ear. The images of getting fucked in the different places induced a throbbing in my clit and I wanted to touch myself so badly, but I physically couldn’t. “Yes, Mistress,” I whispered, feeling her hands move on my body. Her hand that held the riding crop stayed at my hip while her other hand came to cup my breast. She pinched my nipple hard before caressing me softly. I winced in pain but felt the throbbing get stronger. She used the contrasting sensations to make me beg and after a while, it worked. I was basically moaning as I pleaded, “Please Mistress. Harder.” She chuckled into my neck and bit my neck lightly. She left me where I was and placed the riding crop back in its place. She came back to me with a blindfold in her hand and something in her pocket I couldn’t identify. She tied the black, silk blindfold around my eyes so I couldn’t see her anymore. All I could do was feel. She kissed my lips twice, my neck twice, and my clit twice. That was when I knew what she had in her pocket. It was a small pressure around my sex, but it was quickly stimulating: a genital clamp. I moaned as soon as it was on me and my legs squirmed in pleasure.

The evil laugh I heard next gave me the indication that she loved it. I was only slightly fearful of her at that moment, though what she did next cleared all the anxiety away. Certainly an unmistakable feeling to the trained: her mouth was on  _ me _ . She sucked and licked at my restrained sex so the only thing I could do was moan and move my head. My legs slightly closed on her, but she didn’t mind. Her fingers went into me quickly and we found a pace both of us could deal with. Each thrust of her fingers got me higher and higher until I couldn’t hold off any longer and came on her face. She didn’t remove the blindfold or the clamp but unlatched my cuffs from one another. One down, two to go. She stood and wrapped my arms around her neck as she kissed me and pushed me back into the wall I distinctly knew as the X restraint. She spread my arms out to lock them diagonal to my head but left my legs alone. I knew she went somewhere else because I was slightly colder for a second. The next thing I knew was a quick slap to my stomach with a flogger. I moaned loudly and felt another, harder slash to my chest. I screamed louder and that was met with another, even harder hit to my lower torso.

The clamp on me had made my clit a bit swollen and the pain to that region nearly made me orgasm. I heard her drop the flogger where she stood, then felt her body against mine. Only she had something between her legs that was hard. It was fairly wet, but that was probably me. She pulled my hair over my shoulder, wrapped my legs around her waist, and held my hips. “Ready for Round Two, baby?” Her voice was dripping with desire and her breath was needingly hot on my neck. The only thing really holding me up was her. I was slack on my restraints and used my strength to relieve some of my weight off her. “God, yes. Fuck me,” I breathed, my curiosity bleeding for an answer. Seconds later, she thrusted a dildo into me. Her hips collided with my clamped clit and I shook from pleasure. Based off the way she pounded into me, I knew the dick at her hips was strapless. My legs clenched her closer to me as she crashed into me again. I screamed every time with a violent moan ringing through the room. She didn’t stop her relentless beating. Even after I came two times in a row. She kept going into me like she had a vendetta to avenge, but when she switched her grip, I knew she was trying to get herself off. She reached up behind me and clutched my hair close to my scalp before pulling hard.

Her other hand went to the small of my back where her fingernails were buried into my skin to provide a solid foundation. I started sweating in the heat between us but tried to hold off on another orgasm. With the clamp still on, that proved to be very difficult. She thrusted a few more times and I found myself whining for her to keep going. No matter how much it hurt, I knew I loved it. She seemed to know what was going through my head and she breathed, “Hold on, baby. I’m al . . . most—Argh!” She came hard but continued a few more times for me to finish. Easing us both down, she calmly placed my legs back on the ground and removed the clamp from me as well as the blindfold. That was going to be sore later. I breathed deeply but not like she was. Hands on her hips, she breathed deeper than she probably ever has and looked me over. “Are  _ you _ ready for Round Three?” I asked, seeing how worn out she was.

“Yeah. I said I would fuck you three times and I’m going to. Though it seems to me that you’ve come more than that already.”

“Oh, Maus you don’t know how long I can go,” I smirked at her and she reciprocated the smile.

“I’m hoping  _ I _ can keep up with you. But right now . . . “ She got close and kissed me passionately while she unhooked my arms from the restraints. My arms were free, but she wasn’t done with me. She pulled away, kissed my chest, then motioned to the bed with her head. “Go lay on your back. I’ll be over soon.” I could see a plan forming in the back of her mind and decided to not question anything. I took one step forward and I winced at the sensitivity in my clit. I continued to the bed while breathing through it. I laid down on the cool white sheets and gave her my wrists again when she asked. This time, she had a red rope. “The exact one I sold you,” she commented snarkily. Holding my hands palm to palm, she tied my hands together with a double rope cuff and ring before securing me to the top of the bed. When I essentially laughed at the simplicity, she cocked an eyebrow at me and jokingly inquired, “That’s how you want to play it?” She hopped off the bed and got a spreaderbar for my legs. She quickly strapped my legs in and spread them until I couldn’t anymore.

For added fun, she then turned me over on my stomach. With a sharp tug, my ass was in the air, but my face was planted in the sheets. She slapped my ass hard and gripped my hips fiercely. I moaned at the stinging pain, yet I couldn’t breathe. I found my breath soon after, but she had one hand at the back of my head that pushed my head to the side and down into the bed. I could barely see her from where I was and she took that advantage that I couldn’t see what she was doing. Only feel. She pushed into me once more with the dildo and fucked me slowly. Her other hand came around to my front and stroked my pulsating clit softly. I whined at her sluggish pace and moved against her for more friction. Immediately, my hair was pulled for the disobedience. I moaned in satisfaction. “Please, Mistress! Fuck me harder!” I pleaded, trying to keep still.

“Is this what you want?” She thrusted harshly into me once with a deep press into my clit. The feeling was amazing.

“Yeah! Give it to me!”

“Whatever you wish, Kat.”

That was all I heard before she pounded into me endlessly with a steady stimulation of my clitoris. All the sounds I made were desperate whines for more and moans too obscene to repeat. The pain from the clamp was ever present and her brutal touching was equally pleasurable as it was painful, which was why I cried a little. Not surprisingly, I came hard after that. She finished herself and then leaned down to rest herself on my back. I could feel her heavy breathing on my shoulder before she kissed the back of it gently. She trailed her kisses across my shoulder and up my neck as she reached up to untie my hands. “Wait here, Kitty,” she whispered, kissing the back of my ear. She removed herself from me and took the spreaderbar with her. I slowly turned onto my back with my arms lying lazily around my head and closed my eyes to catch my breath. I had been fucked many ways in my life, but that was for sure one of the best. She had the perfect combination of pain and pleasure. The places on my body she hit were singing with aftershocks of the pain and I stretched to help them fade away. I yawned and moaned in content at the sensitivity in my body. I didn’t open my eyes again until I felt her hands in mine, fingers intertwined together, and her straddling my waist.

She was still wearing her shorts but left her hair down. She leaned down and kissed me sweetly. One kiss turned to two and two turned to three while she shifted us onto our sides. Her hands moved to grip my waist so she could pull me closer and I cradled her face in my hands with the hopes of being able to cuddle in some way. It made me awkward to admit it, but I quite enjoyed being held by Maus. No other Dominant of mine ever made me feel like this. I thought for so long that something was wrong with me, but I realized later that I was falling for her. I just had to get used to the feeling. I knew how to force myself to that. “I have an idea, Maus. As part of trying the hearts and flowers . . . I’d like for you to sleep with me from now on,” I explained, looking her in the eyes. Joy lit up in her eyes and she kissed me passionately.

“Of course, Kat. I’d really like that too.” The big stupid grin on her face after was infectious. I smiled wide at the sight and kissed her to rid of our grins.

“Speaking of which, let’s go to bed. All this makes me really tired.” She got up and headed toward the door without me. She stopped when she realized I wasn’t with her and turned around.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” I asked, lifting an eyebrow at her. I laid on my side with my head propped on one hand and my other one draped over my hip. She paced to the bed while licking her lips and dragging her eyes up and down my body. She leaned down and ran her hands over my muscles all the way up to my face where she kissed me and said, “Yes, I am. You’re free to go, Kitty. For now.” I sat up with my legs off the edge of the bed and pulled her by the hips between my legs. My face came up to her chest and I looked up into her eyes. She held me around the neck as I thought about what to do. My parents were having a dinner later that night and I had to go, but I also wanted Maus to come with me. My other Doms never met my parents, but Maus was special. I buried my face in her chest while she petted me and kissed the top of my head. “Do you want to go to dinner at my parents’ tonight?” I asked, deciding I wanted her to go.

“Like, seriously? You want me to meet your parents?”

“Ja, Maus. You already know my mother so why not?”

“Alright then. But let’s go nap.”

********

When I woke up later in the pink sunset of the evening, I was surprised to find Beca’s arms around my waist and her face nuzzled into my back as she spooned me from behind. She was still asleep, but I couldn’t stop myself from taking a moment to revel in the feeling of her body against mine. The simple contact between us was enough to send my heart into a speed race with itself. I had to say it. I had to. There was no other way to confirm what I was feeling without seeing how I felt about saying it out loud. I turned over onto my other side without waking her, brushed some hair behind her ear, and pressed my forehead to hers. Closing my eyes, I committed and firmly said, “I love you, Maus.” I thanked God she was asleep because I didn’t know what I’d do if she had heard me. But, when I said it, I felt freed. I felt honest, which was different for me. The emotion I felt behind my statement was too much for me to handle and I started crying. I allowed myself to cry in her arms because I knew I’d be alright with her. I knew I could trust her with my secrets, I just didn’t know how to explain it. My body racked with my silent heaves of overwhelming sadness and I inherently whimpered into her chest. She woke up to the sound of my distress and instantly, I was wrapped in her comfort. “Luisa, calm down. What’s wrong?” she coerced, caressing my shoulder.

I looked up at her with tears in my eyes to see her tired, but worried expression. This was actual and genuine concern. I had only seen this one other time in my life and that was the night I nearly died. The night I was finally saved. Maus would save me. She’d be the one to fix me. I just had to be sure I didn’t lose her. I wiped away my tears quickly and breathed deeply. I kissed her, pressed our foreheads together, and told her, “Nothing, Maus. I . . . just don’t want to lose you, that’s all.”

“Then why were you crying?”

“Because I know I’m going to mess it up somehow.” I broke down in tears again, hiding in her chest, and clutched her like it was the last thing I’d ever do. She simply held me tighter and kissed the side of my head. I cried for a little while longer, allowing myself to feel emotions for once, until she wiped my tears away, kissed my eyes, and said, “Now, let’s get ready for dinner. I’ve got some parents to meet.” I laughed as we both got out of bed, took a shower, and got dressed. We both wore matching suits with no tie, but I wore a pencil skirt and she wore pants. I realized she never gave me back my panties, but I wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of making me ask for them back. I simply pulled my hair up into a ponytail and pushed my glasses up. I pulled on small heels and went to wait for her in the living room. I checked my watch. 6:30. Dinner was in thirty minutes and it was a twenty-five-minute drive. We were going to be slightly late. I focused back on my place in the living room and remembered I had my iPod playing.

“Shake It Out” by Florence + The Machine played in the background and I was only distracted from the tambourines and heavy drums by Beca, who had just walked into the living room. She walked up to me and said, “I’m ready.” Her hair was pinned to one side and came to rest on her opposite shoulder. She had dark eyeliner and shadow, as always, and a similar pair of small heels. “Great. May I have this dance?” I asked, holding out my hand. She gingerly took my hand and my shoulder while I took her waist and we danced to the music of the English band. We waltzed around the living room in perfect time to the song. I spun her out, then brought her back in with my arm around her waist. She gripped my hand from where it was and we spent most of the rest of the song like this. Gently swaying in each other’s arms. When the height of the song was reached, I reflexively spun her back out, but instead of spinning back in, I had her jump into my arms bridal style. Once she was cradled in my embrace, I spun us around until the song ended softly. She held onto me around the neck and we stared into each other’s eyes lovingly. I stopped when the music ended and let the next song play. I was only doing what came naturally, and I went to say something but got cut off.

“The car is ready, Ms. Meyer,” Pieter interrupted. Our gaze was broken as we both snapped the same look to him. He was immediately unnerved. “I’ll go wait by the car then,” he excused. He walked out of the room hurriedly and I glared at the door he walked out of before looking back to Beca. “Let’s go,” she suggested, hopping out of my arms. I turned off my iPod, took her hand, then headed out to the car. I opened the door for her to climb in and I climbed in on the other side. We gripped hands again, fingers intertwined, and talked casually most of the way there. “Where did you learn to dance?” she asked, her curiosity surprising me. She ran her thumb back and forth over the back of my hand as she looked at me in the intermittent darkness. My heart pounded out of my chest for different reasons: the truthful answer and the fact she was holding my hand. The truthful answer lied in the years I spent under my birth parent’s care. As memories of the past flashed before my eyes, I started to shake in fear. The incessant screaming, the intentional starving, the needless beating. All I could hear was my own repentings and wailings to tell them to stop. I saw myself lying on the floor, bleeding and crying, with barely enough muscle to be alive. I accidentally whimpered as tears came to my eyes, but didn’t answer Beca’s question. She seemed to understand what was going on because she moved next to me and refocused me to her.

“It’s alright, Luisa. You don’t have to tell me.” She kissed me tenderly and it was that kiss that reminded me of the time I was living in. I rested my forehead against hers for a second with the intention to tell her what I knew, but I said nothing. “Let’s just say, someone I knew wanted me to learn.” The small gasp of shock she made gave me little indication to what she thought about my answer. But when I thought about the people she knew in my life, my mind immediately went to the one person she’d have a vendetta against. Mrs. Robinson. I could understand where she was coming from, though I didn’t understand why she felt that way. “Why do you hate Mrs. Robinson?” I asked, looking at her. Beca looked back at me and kissed me before she responded.

“I don’t  _ hate _ her, I just . . . don’t enjoy the idea of another woman, who, might I add, is several years older, kissing you, touching you, and you know . . . “ She lowered her voice, “ . . . fucking you. Not to mention you were only 16 when you entered that relationship, which counts as sexual abuse.” She was matter-of-fact with her last statement and that made it sound like she was chastising me. I sighed and looked away, kind of ashamed of myself. No one had ever pointed that out to me and now that she was doing so, it made me feel stupid about everything. Mrs. Robinson was nice about everything so I thought our relationship was alright. I was too stupid. A hand was placed on the side of my face as it was dragged back to view. Maus was looking me in the eyes deeply. She kissed me with as much tender passion and I felt my heart surge again with emotion. I needed to get used to that. She caressed my cheek, then whispered, “Don’t overthink things. You get so dismal when you do. We can talk later, but for now, we need to get out of the car. We’re here, I think.” I glanced out the window and saw my mother at the door to the house in a nice elegant gown. She waved gracefully while we climbed out of the car.

Holding hands, we walked to the front door and met with my parents. My father, John Smith Meyer, gave Beca a hug before making a misogynistic comment like he always does. I didn’t know how my mother put up with it. My younger sister, Jessica, came bouncing into the living room in excitement. She had only heard a few things about Beca from my mother and was eager to meet her. “She’s never brought a girl home before. In fact, she hasn’t brought anyone home now that I think of it,” Jessica stated, pulling Beca away to the dining room. I knew we’d be late. When I could make my way to the dining room, I reconvened with Maus to sit next to her but saw Stacie sitting across the table from me. “Luisa,” Stacie greeted, a warning look on her face. I nodded my greeting with a simple, “Stacie.” Beca looked at the both of us scoldingly, but I couldn’t respond. I didn’t know what was between us. Stacie was the one to start this whole antagonistic thing. My parents sat down at their ends of the table and dinner was started. “We were just talking about vacations,” Dad said, looking around the table.

“Aubrey has decided to follow Stacie to Barbados for a week,” Jessica pointed out, glaring at the two across the table. Sure enough, Aubrey and Stacie were sitting next to each other and giggled a bit at the thought of being alone on a tropical island. I was only slightly repulsed by them. My dad poured wine and looked at Beca. “Are you going to take a break now that school is over?” he questioned her.

She looked at me hesitantly before answering, “I’m thinking about going to see my father in California for a few days.” This was news to me. She was going to leave. I looked at her pleadingly with a slight pout in my lips. My eyes widened a bit at her and I couldn’t stop myself from sounding a bit whiny. “When were you going to leave?” I complained, catching Stacie’s eye. She scrutinized us while we carried on our side conversation.

“Tomorrow night. But, I’m only thinking about it right now. You don’t need to be so worried.” She was trying to cover up her anger at me with reassuring words. I tried my best to not be like a toddler.

“When were you going to tell me?” I whispered, the complaint ever present in my voice. She leaned up, and without anyone noticing, bit my earlobe to scold, “Later tonight, but right now I want to punish you for being insolent.” I swallowed hard, then went back to the conversation at hand. Stacie eyed both of us, Beca especially because she was uncharacteristically annoyed. Everyone but Stacie didn’t see the behaviors, but once Jessica asked the next question, she was placated. Jessica turned to us with a glass of wine in her hand. “Have you been to Paris, Beca?”

“No, I haven’t. But I’d honestly love to go.”

“It’s really beautiful, despite the Parisians. You know, Luisa. You should take her,” Jessica not-so-subtly suggested. I laughed a bit awkwardly before remembering the conversation Beca and I had earlier at the coffee shop. A silence arose in the room for a brief second and no one wanted to address the slowly rising tension. Quickly, I interjected, “I think Beca would prefer to see Vienna or Berlin.” The look I got from Beca meant she was surprised I remembered, but I also felt her hand on the edge of my skirt. The realization that I wasn’t wearing any panties hit me and I tried to get away from her grip. Not here, not now. Her hand clamped down on my leg with her nails slightly digging into me. I casually reached for my glass and took a sip while her hand traveled further up my skirt. When her fingers came close to getting anywhere significant, I closed my legs on her hand to prevent her from going any further. The glare she gave me was one that hid more rage than before. I could tell she wanted to be alone at this moment. We finished our dinner and I excused us under the pretense of showing her the backyard. I took her hand, which she squeezed hard, and led her outside to where the boathouse was. We went upstairs to the small room where a few couches were. I assumed she wanted to punish then fuck me so I stood in the middle of the room with my eyes looking down and my hands folded in front of me.

“Are you going to punish me now?” I asked, hoping the answer was no. I didn’t want to be hit and fucked at that moment, but it was up to her, not me. She sauntered toward me, gripped my face in her hands, and kissed me hard. She bit my lip then pulled away. “No, I’m not. You said no at the dinner table when you closed your legs,” she explained, breathing away her frustrations. I let my mouth fall open slightly before eying the floor. She sensed something was wrong and asked, “What’s wrong?”

“I . . . I’ve never been allowed to say ‘no’ to punishment before.” My voice was quiet as I pretty much hugged myself and looked away from her. I remembered the times I was unwillingly punished for things like this. Various parts of my body started to sting at the recollections of past punishings and my eyes stung with tears. A single tear fell from my chin and hit the floor rapidly. Beca could see how much I was mentally and emotionally hurting from all I had been through and simply said, “Alright, I think you’ve been through enough tonight. Is it alright if I give you a light smack on your hand as a warning?”

“Yes, albeit a bit childish.” I held my hand out for her and she took my fingers in her grip. She gave the back of my hand a quick slap that barely hurt. She placed a kiss where she had hit me and took me into her arms. She led me to one of the couches and sat down so she was leaning back against the arm. She had taken off her heels so she didn’t get the couch dirty and was reaching for my hand. She pulled me down on top of her so my head rested on her chest. “What are you doing?” I inquired, completely lost with what she was doing.

“I just want to be alone with you right now. And I know you want some comfort right now.” She was so right. I wanted to rest on her chest and listen to her heartbeat. I needed to think about all that happened those years ago. Her steady heartbeat was the perfect metronome to the sad discord of my life before privilege. “Don’t get lost on me,” she warned, holding me tighter. I laughed at her intentions and snuggled closer to keep myself from slipping back to my misery. I lifted my head and rested it back on her chest so I was facing her with my chin firmly between her breasts. “Can I tell you something?”

“What do you mean?”

“Can I tell you something that happened to me?” Her face lit up with curiosity at the mentioning of my past and she kissed me gently.

“Of course, Lu. You can tell me anything.” I settled back onto her chest and calmed myself in her easy breathing before confessing a part of my torturous past.

“I was abused nearly every day by both my parents. My father because I was gay and my mother . . . “ I froze as soon as I mentioned  _ her _ . The most terrifying memory of  _ her _ came to mind and I began shaking with fear again. I held onto Beca tighter, buried my face in her chest, and whimpered. I whimpered and cried senselessly for a while before trying to finish.

“She . . . she . . . “

“It’s alright, Luisa. You don’t need to tell me why she abused you. What you told me is enough.” Beca kissed me again but took her time to let me know I could trust her with the truth. I didn’t open my eyes until she asked me to. She just held my face close to hers and occasionally kissed me in various places. Eventually, when I eased up enough, Beca looked me in the eyes and said, “I think it’s time to go home.” I nodded and simply followed her. She took my hand after we got our heels back on and led me back to the house. We walked into the living room where everyone was and suddenly everyone was looking at us. I kept my eyes down because I couldn’t bear to see my family with the image of my previous house in my mind. Beca seemed to understand and stood in front of me while still holding my hand. My mother noticed, she always did, but made sure no one else was paying attention to us when she approached us. “Luisa isn’t feeling so well so we’re just going to go, if that’s alright with you,” Maus whispered, motioning to me. My mother, being as precautious as she was, stepped to me, looked me in the watery eyes, and sighed.

“I’ve seen this before. Make sure she gets home safely and stay with her if you can. She’s going to have a rough night,” Mom informed Maus, giving me a loving hug. She didn’t know specifics of my past, but she knew enough to know when I was not in my right mind. I held back my tears long enough to say bye to everyone and we left with my mother worried slightly. We climbed into the car before Beca held me by the arm again. I leaned against the cold window and let a few tears run down my cheeks. I looked up to Pieter through the mirror and he knew exactly what was going on. He was the only one besides me to know exactly what happened. I instinctively reached across my body to cover the area where my scar lied. We’d been best friends since we were 13 and we supported each other through everything. We made eye contact through the mirror and he knew what I wanted. When he stopped by a grocery store, Beca was confused, but he came back with my favorite ice cream, Häagen-Dazs Gelato Salted Caramel. I chuckled a bit but gladly accepted the treat as a way to cool down. I waited until we got home to eat it. I laid in bed half naked with the ice cream and a spoon. My hair was down and my glasses were off. Beca sat behind me since my head was resting on her stomach and talked to me.

I fed some ice cream to her and when I gave her too much, we laughed at her brain freeze. Once the frozen dessert was gone, we brushed our teeth and went to bed. She held me from behind and kissed my neck softly. Before I fell asleep, I thought I could hear Beca whisper to me, “You don’t have to do this alone.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Beca**

 

The next morning was a blur. It took entirely way too much convincing for me to even leave Luisa’s apartment. She was like a stubborn little child and since she was half naked, I had a difficult time mustering the courage to leave her. The not-so-subtle leg spread she did to try to convince me simply flustered me and angered me slightly. I wanted to punish her for it but knew I _really_ didn’t want to so I kissed her hard and bit her lower lip. She let me go after that. I went to my two interviews at the local recording studios to try for a job and only remembered the second one. The big boss there was named Bumper Allen and while he seemed like an ass, he wasn’t as misogynistic as Luisa’s father was. When I finished those, I went back to mine and Stacie’s place. She was going to leave for her family trip later this week while I was in California to visit my dad and I assumed Aubrey was going with her. Speaking of which, I had to finish packing before my flight later that night. Stacie saw how focused I was and decided to get us Chinese takeout for dinner. As we sat on our living room floor, I wondered how it was Luisa I fell for and not Stacie. They were both very beautiful, but there was something about Luisa’s reserved side that I found most appealing. Granted, I didn’t like how she kept everything a secret from me, especially her past, but she has time to tell me.

I didn’t want to push her too much that I lost her. I’d already pushed her enough. And she told me she was abused on her own terms. She must really trust me. Or maybe even love me. The thought alone was enough to send a big, stupid grin across my face. Stacie caught sight of it and immediately, she was all in my business. “What is it? Did they slip another shroom into your food again?” she asked, referencing the time I ate a magic mushroom by accident. I laughed, pushed her away from my stir-fry, and told her, “No, they didn’t. It’s . . . Luisa.”

“Does this mean?”

“Yes, Stace. I’m in love with her, but I’m not sure she loves me.”

“Oh, believe me, Becs. She hasn’t been able to stay away from you since you two met. She totally loves you.”

********

“Welcome back, Beca,” my father greeted, hugging me tightly. I hugged him back around his slender shoulders, our entire family was small, and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Don’t I get anything?” Robert scolded, holding his arms out. He was always one for over dramatics. I laughed and hugged the big, hulking dude my dad managed to attract. “I still don’t understand how you two came to be,” I pointed out, hurling my bags into the living room. They looked at each other and did that thing where they stared into each other’s eyes for a long time while they mentally connected on one moment. I found it adorable, but couldn’t stand the sudden silence. I hated to break them up, though I didn’t feel guilty, and I took my bags to my bedroom at the end of the hall. The rest of the day wasn’t very eventful, except for the baseball game, but I was emailing Luisa the entire time until she had to go. She sounded so solemn without me and I had to admit it was endearing. Maybe she did love me. But that thought was shattered when I figured out she was going to see Mrs. Robinson for dinner. God, I hated her. Luisa was already abused once in her life, she didn’t need someone else to sexually abuse her. Though it was in the past, I was still furious that their relationship even started. Sensing my hostility, Robert, Dad, and I went out to dinner later that night before we went to bed. I missed Luisa so much, I couldn’t stay mad at her for long.

Without her, I felt colder in a bed by myself and I desperately wished she was here. I clutched a pillow to my chest and let my tenacious hold lull me to sleep. The next day, after we had gone everywhere I wanted to, we decided to get drinks. I ordered a nice drink with bourbon and my dad ordered a Cosmo. We sat and talked for a while about life. “So, who’s this girlfriend I’m hearing about from Raymond?” my father asked, setting his drink down on the table. I shook my head and mentally scolded Raymond for keeping no secrets. I sipped at my drink as I considered what to say to him.

“Well, Luisa . . . she’s . . . something.”

“Something . . . special? Annoying? C’mon Beca, you have to tell me these things.”

I placed my drink on the table. “Okay, fine. She’s sweet, kind, and truly beautiful, though she refuses to admit it.”

“So that’s the catch.”

“What do you mean?” I was surprised by his remark and needed clarification.

“You say she’s amazing, but she ultimately doubts herself. That’s enough to ruin a relationship.”

“Well, we don’t have a normal relationship.”

“That’s what they all say.”

“Believe me, Dad. It’s far from normal.” I picked up my drink, sipped casually, and eyed the rest of the room. My eyes drifted across the booths only to see Luisa sitting in one of them and watching me from across the room. I choked on my drink and coughed a few times before Dad reached over to pat my back. Luisa stood and came to the table in a rush. I recovered quickly enough to look up at Luisa and shout, “What are you doing here?!” She simply smiled and sat next to me.

“Who’s this?” Dad questioned, holding his hand out. Luisa took it gingerly and shook politely.

“I’m Luisa. Beca’s girlfriend.” The surprise on my dad’s face was almost palpable because he was so in awe of Luisa. Same here, Dad.

“Finally I meet you. You’re all Beca ever talks about.”

“Well, Maus is all I can ever think about,” Luisa replied, wrapping her arm around my waist. My dad just melted at the sound of her voice and the sincerity in her words as she kissed the side of my head. I greatly appreciated the embrace from her and leaned my head onto her chest.

“God, you smell good,” I whispered into Luisa’s neck. She always smelled like cinnamon and I loved it because she also tasted sweet like a cinnamon roll. It was obvious I had a few drinks and both my table partners could see it.

“I think she’s had too much to drink,” Dad pointed out, a little tipsy himself. Luisa brushed some hair out of my face and cupped my cheek to look me in the eyes. I saw nothing but concern in her irises and that tinted her blue eyes.

“You know you’re really pretty,” I told her, leaning up to kiss her. She kissed me once and turned to my father.

“Ja, she’s definitely had too much to drink. It was nice meeting you . . . “

“David. Mitchell. David Mitchell, but feel free to call me Dave.”

“Alright, Dave. How do you want to handle this?”

********

I was woken up the next morning by Luisa. She gently shook me awake before handing me an Advil and a glass of water for the headache I had. I sat up in her hotel bed and looked to her. “What are you dressed for? And what time is it?” I inquired, so many questions floating in my mind. She was dressed in skinny jeans and a black turtleneck with a black trenchcoat on. I wondered why she was dressed so warmly, but then I remembered we were in California. The weather was cold at night, dead hot in the day. I climbed out of bed, stood up, and held her around the waist. I rested on her chest while she held me against her and I almost fell asleep again. “It’s about 5:30 and I have a surprise for you. So get dressed Maus. We have a ways to go,” she told me, leaning down to kiss underneath my ear. When she did that, I got full access to her neck and I placed gentle kisses along the side of her jaw and down her neck. I held her shoulders before wrapping my arms around them and nuzzling my face into one. I could just tell her then and get it over with, but I didn’t want to ruin the moment if she didn’t feel the same, despite everyone telling me otherwise. “You’ll have to dress me, Kat,” I whispered, hoping she’d pick me up. Her soft hands slipped down to the backs of my legs and in one swift motion, I was off the ground.

I held onto her with my arms around her shoulders and my legs around her waist. “You can sleep more in the car.” She held me against her tightly as she gathered some clothes to put on me. She laughed at me when she laid me down on the bed to slide the jeans on me and while I wanted to smack her for it, I was too tired. Once I was dressed, she pulled me by the hand to the car. I fell asleep almost instantly in the passenger seat and she buckled me in with a smile. By the time I had woken up again, we were still on the road. We had been driving for about an hour, but we still weren’t wherever Luisa was taking us. “Good morning, Maus. Did you sleep well?” she asked, never looking away from the road.

I turned my head toward her as I yawned and answered, “Not really. You weren’t with me.”

“Oh, Maus. Always one for romantics. I must admit, I have slept better when you’re with me.” She reached over and grabbed my hand in hers. The soft contact of her palm against mine sent my heart out of control. She was so beautiful in the early dawn that I couldn’t help leaning across the console to kiss her cheek. She glanced at me, smiled, and kept her eyes locked on the road. “Almost as if you’re the person I need to be normal.” Her smile faltered a bit and I saw a sudden vulnerability from her that I never had. It was like I could see the tragedy she experienced as a child written across her face in her beautiful lyrical features. I had to be careful of what I said next so I didn’t scare her or push her too much. I lifted her hand to my lips, pressed a kiss to her knuckles, and caressed the back of her hand with my thumb. “You’re normal to me, and that’s all that matters,” I comforted, watching her blink away tears. She breathed deeply and looked to me.

No words were spoken until she kissed me and stated, “We’re here.”

********

The plane in front of us started up after we were strapped into the glider. The sudden lurch forward when the rope pulling us was taut frightened me slightly and I jumped. Luisa sat behind me and controlled the aircraft. She laughed at my little scream as we were pulled down the runway by the small plane. Soon enough, we had taken off and were slowly ascending into the clear morning. The surface of California slowly disappeared from sight and I clung on tighter to my seat. “Maus, calm down. I’m right here,” Luisa whispered, reaching forward to place her hand on my shoulder. Her low, comforting voice rang through me and calmed my nerves enough to let go of my seat. The pilot of the plane in front of us explained how we were over three thousand feet in the air over the intercom system set up in the flying vehicles. “Ready, Maus?” I could hear her smile behind me. She was too cute. I gathered all my strength and told her, “Yes, Kat.”

“Release.” We were floating. The rope cut off us and we were in the air. Nothing holding us up but the wind. I yelped in surprise, which was met by another laughing outburst, and held onto my seat again. Luisa had control of the glider and I was at her mercy. She tilted the glider to the side until we were upside down. I felt everything inside me become lighter and I placed my hands on the glass above me, though I knew I wouldn’t fall out. “Oh, Maus.” I smiled at her antics and removed my hands to hold onto my harness. She turned us back right side up and told me, “Grab the controls.”

“I am not controlling this thing!”

“It’s okay Maus. It’s easy. Trust me.” Those two words. _Trust me_. They would be the end of me. Reluctantly, I grabbed the wobbly joystick in front of me.

“You have it?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright, here you go!” She let go and I panicked. I held it as steady as I could, but after a while, I decided to have a bit of fun. I turned the stick to the right and we did sideways loopty loops for a while until I returned it to the center. I pulled back on the controls and we went up to a vertical loopty loop. I was having so much fun. “How’s this for more?” Luisa shouted, her playful tone ever present.

“Ah!” was all I could say. The shock and thrill of being so high up in the morning sky was too overwhelming for me to describe. She knew how over excited I was getting and took the controls back. She leveled us out and let us soar across the sky to admire the sky. The rising sun in the distance painted orange on the stratus clouds and tainted the blue sky with pinks and purples. This was what Jesse constantly told me about. The time of day when the sky’s natural beauty accumulates into the paintings of famous abstract expressionists from the 1950’s. I was mesmerized by the sight. Too soon, I was pulled out of my thoughts by the glider dipping down toward the ground. Luisa was landing the thing and she wanted to get my attention first. “Brace for impact.”

“Isn’t that what they say when the plane’s about to crash?”

“Well, this doesn’t land softly.” We shared a laugh at her sarcasm and she drifted us toward the ground. The landing wasn’t rough, but it wasn’t gentle either. A thump and we were skidding across an open field until we slowed enough. She climbed out first before reaching back to help me out. She pulled me into her arms with a passionate kiss to my lips. I held her face and deepened the kiss with my tongue in her mouth. She pulled away before anything got too serious and looked me in the eyes. “How was that for hearts and flowers?” Her question was serious. She wanted confirmation that she was doing the “more” part of this correctly. I kissed her lips once and assured her, “This was fantastic. I loved it. But it doesn’t need to be so extravagant.” She huffed out a breath and looked down in relief.

“Good, I didn’t know I’d top that.”

“I have an idea.”

“What’s that?”

“A movie and cuddle sesh.” The smile that spread across her face was one I could look at forever and the giggle accompanying it was even better.

“I could do that. But maybe later. How about Tuesday?”

“That is an Allotted Time,” I insinuated, giving her a dirty look. The response I got was a little lip bite. I squinted at her in mock dominance and the bite deepened.

“You’re such a playful little Kat.”

********

Her arm wrapped around my waist as she rolled over. Her body pressed against mine as she sensed me. Her face nuzzled into my shoulder as she fell asleep. Our night of passion did not go unnoticed by the two of us in the early morning. We could still feel the reverberations of our brutal orgasms in our bodies and the small pains here and there from where we bit just a little too hard. I smiled at how gentle Luisa was with me and my thoughts took me back to the night she took my virginity. She was as gentle last night as she was then, yet she said she couldn’t make love. Based on past experiences without anything erotic, she could make the sweetest love I had ever experienced for two reasons. One, she was the only person I had ever slept with and two, she was also the woman I loved very deeply. I smiled at the idea. The first woman or person in general that I love romantically is also the person who deflowered me. Talk about a true love story.

Her warm breathing on my neck expressed that she was awake in the slightest, but knowing how much she needed it, I let her sleep peacefully. Or at least, I tried. Her phone rang on the bedside table really loudly and annoyingly. Her eyes shot open in a mix of rage and indignation. She quickly propped herself up on one arm and reached for her phone in front of me. I turned onto my back to watch her answer the call and the first words out of her mouth were, “I swear to God if someone is not dying . . . “ Her voice was low and slightly raspy, but I blamed it on the morning. She sandwiched the phone between her shoulder and her head as she reached out to caress my cheek. She leaned down to kiss me while she continued listening to the ranting of one of her employees. She sat up fully, taking the phone back in her hands, and immediately was triggered. “What do you mean?” she angrily asked, looking away. She got out of bed but motioned for me to stay in the sheets. She wandered around the room and collected her clothing. “That can’t be possible . . . he told me he’d handle it . . . I guess we have to fix it now . . . No, don’t do that . . . we can’t risk it . . . call if off now . . . no excuses Andrea . . . call it off.” All I heard was her side of the conversation and I laid in the bed with the sheet around me.

She dressed and packed at the same time. She wore the same outfit she did the day before and sat on the edge of the bed to pull her Converse on. “I told him to handle it, and he didn’t. There’s no excuse for that. He knew what needed to be done. I’m finished with this conversation. I’ll be back in the next few hours. Bye,” she ended. Her stress was visible and the roaring groan that accompanied it was understandable. She rubbed her face vigorously with her hands before calming down enough to look at me without anger. She moved closer until she was sitting beside me on the edge of the bed. She held my cheek and kissed me tenderly. She pressed her forehead to mine for a brief moment. “I hate to leave you like this but something’s come up at the office that they can’t solve on their own. You’re welcome to stay here until you’re rested, but I have to go. Have breakfast, sleep some more, whatever. Just be sure to give the key to the front desk,” she informed me, looking me in the eyes.

“I hate you too, but I understand. I’ll see you tomorrow night?”

“Ja, Maus. See you then.” With that, she kissed me once more and was out the door with her overnight bag. So much for dinner later. I laid back down, reached across, and felt the emptiness I anticipated I’d feel if she knew. Knew how I wanted her here. Knew how I needed her here. Knew how I loved her here.

********

“Bye, Dad. Thanks for the visit,” I commented, giving my father one last hug.

“No problem, Becs. Just know you can call anytime to talk about anything at all.” He held me at arm’s length to look me over and became concerned with the tears in my eyes.

“I’m missing you already, ‘s all.”

“Oh, Beca. I’ll miss you too.”

********

Walking into Luisa’s apartment at night, I first spotted Luisa in her usual suit in the living room. She stared out a window as she talked aggressively on the phone to an associate of hers. I didn’t pay much attention to what she was saying as much as how she was saying it. She sounded furious, which was something I hadn’t heard very often, and overall . . . losing control. She was slowly starting to lose herself the longer that conversation lasted. Luckily, as soon as she saw me, she said, “I’ll call you later. Figure it out for now,” and hung up. Instantly, she had me around the waist with her face buried in my shoulder. She was silently begging for me to reign her in and I knew exactly how to do that. I hugged her back, kissed the side of her head, and let her rest there for a moment. She even felt unsteady, despite her lack of heels in any capacity, but her kiss was rock hard. I managed to pry her hands from my face and kept kissing her to some sanity. I guided her hands to her sides before telling her, “Kneel, now.” She broke away from our kisses to do as I asked and she looked visibly relaxed in her submissive position. I reached down to brush her hair out of her face and kiss her softly. I could feel her power transfer to me in that moment, yet I knew she needed to get rid of it for a while. “Be in the playroom in fifteen minutes. Bring your iPod,” I whispered, pulling her earlobe with my teeth.

I left her where she was to go get ready in my bedroom. I walked past the playroom to the bedroom where all my clothes were and undressed quickly. I found that old pair of shorts I left here the last time we erotically fucked and put those on with nothing else. Pulling my hair into a ponytail, I made my way to the desired place. I walked in immediately, meaning Luisa was already in there and saw her kneeling in the exact position I wanted her. “Good Kat. Where’s the iPod?” I requested, standing in front of her. Without looking up, she produced the blue iPod Nano in her palm. I took it and marveled at it for a second. I always pegged her for a sort of retro girl. I found the speaker on top of the dresser in the room and hooked up the device. Scrolling through the playlists, I found one to be quite fitting: Erotic. I laughed slightly at the idea, turned to Luisa, and asked, “Do you have any preference?”

“Erotic is fine. I’ve never fucked to it before.” I raised an eyebrow at her. I found that hard to believe. I left the iPod where it was and took Luisa to the bed. I laid her down, kissed her, and spread her limbs out. I took some rope and tied each of her limbs in so she couldn’t move at all. I also put a blindfold over her eyes so she couldn’t see me and I had the music so she couldn’t hear me. Only feel me. Only feel the power I took from her. She bit her lip at the anticipation I knew was welling inside her and I didn’t correct it. I simply went over to the dresser, hit Shuffle, and went for my first choice implement. The song “Closer” by Nine Inch Nails came on and I knew what I wanted. A basic flogger of black leather was first. I went to her, kissed her softly, and let the edges of the leather dance across her skin. She gasped at the presence of the cool object and her lip went further into her teeth. I brought my hand up and back down quickly, hitting her on the stomach. She screamed lightly and attempted to move, but failed. I chuckled maliciously above her and repeated my action at her thighs individually. She screamed and moaned, but I wouldn’t stop. Not unless she used a safeword.

I flogged her at the chest before stepping up my intensity. I hit her in the same spots, only a lot harder. I needed her to be fairly sensitive for what I was going to do next. Once that song had faded out, I switched my choice of equipment. “Bruises and Bitemarks” by Good With Grenades came on and I made a fitting selection: vampire gloves. They were new, but I knew how to use them. They were leather gloves with brass spikes lining the fingers and palm. They were not designed to draw blood, but in some cases, blood had been drawn. That was not my intention. I climbed on the bed and straddled her waist without touching her. I leaned down to pull her lower lip out of her teeth with my own and kissed her. I knew the gloves would get her sensitive enough for a good fucking. I trailed my spiky hands down her arms from her wrists while I kissed, sucked, and bit at her neck. She knew what I was using on her, but I wanted to emphasize what they could do. When I reached her chest, I sat up and circled her nipples with the spikes on two fingers. She moaned at the sharp, but the erotic feeling of the spikes at her erogenous areas until I fully cupped both her breasts in my hands. She expressly screamed at the pain from the gloves digging into her skin with every squeeze. Once she was sensitive enough there and I could see the red lines of where my hands had been, I moved down her body.

The red lines I wanted appeared at the slightest pressure onto her skin because I knew her skin was delicate. When I got down to where she clearly wanted me, I stopped. She moaned for some relief, but I wouldn’t give it to her. No matter how close I got my mouth to her clitoris, I wouldn’t do anything to it. Instead, an evil thought came to mind. I removed the gloves quickly and untied her legs. “What . . . are you . . . doing?” she panted, the sensations becoming too much.

“Shut up or I’ll gag you.” I took her legs in my hands so I held her upper hamstrings in my palms and pushed up on her legs until her knees were pretty much on her shoulders.

“God, please!” she begged, pulling at her hand restraints. I couldn’t stand her talking so I went to get a ball gag. Going to the head of the bed, I leaned down and whispered, “I told you to shut up, but you didn’t. Now you’re getting gagged.” I opened her mouth and shoved the gag in before strapping it around the back.

“Next time you’ll learn to shut up.” I resumed my position at the foot of the bed where her legs were free . . . for now. I pushed her legs back up to her shoulders and separately bound her knees to her wrists so she was spread open wide with her knees at her shoulders. I looked down at the sight of her helpless and inherently licked my lips. She was erotically beautiful in that moment and the wetness that had accumulated between my legs only slightly terrified me. Why was I turned on by this? I didn’t know. I just knew I wanted to fuck her so hard. “Fuck Away The Pain” by Divide the Day came on and I knew I wanted to fuck her roughly but slowly and deliberately. I started with my fingers. Kneeling in between her bound legs, I traced her labia with two naked fingers. Her whimpering was muffled by the gag, but I could hear it loud and clear. I continued my easy tracing of her entrance as I leaned down to kiss between her breasts and suck each of her puckered nipples. She pulled at her restraints, but I made sure they were tight so she couldn’t move if she wanted to. “Why do you want to rush me? You know I’m only going to fuck you . . . slower . . . and slower . . . and slower . . . until I’ve had enough of your whimpering,” I explained, slowly diving my fingers into her wetness.

Her sensuous moan left me wanting more and I knew more fingers would fit inside her. A third and a fourth finger were added to her. She moaned and whimpered for her release. All the while, sweat covered her with its cinnamon scent I loved so much. I positioned my thumb in the right place so when I thrusted into her roughly with my four fingers, she got a jab to her clitoris with my thumb. After a few thrusts, she came once. I angled my thumb at a certain degree and continued to thrust into her with the same intensity. The way I was fucking her caused her to come every four thrusts and by the time she came five times, my hand was as wet as I was. The infuriating desire I felt to come poisoned my right mind and I removed my body from hers to retrieve a strapless. I kneeled in between her spread legs again and undid the button on my shorts. Pulling them down enough, I stuck the one end of the faux cock inside me and prepared her for my entrance. I caressed her clitoris again to stimulate her enough so she wasn’t surprised by the penetration and leaned down onto her. I reached around and unlatched the ball gag from her mouth. “Make sure I can hear you,” I warned, thrusting deeply into her. The immediate scream I received from her delighted me to no extent.

I paused before thrusting again and getting the same ear-splitting moan from my beautiful, sweet submissive. After the third thrust, I had enough of this slow fucking. I ripped the blindfold from her now wet eyes and adjusted my grip so I held onto the bar at the top of the bed. That was meant for binding her above the head, but now it was going to be used as a way to fuck her hard. I held it tightly as I met her dark blue eyes and picked up my pace endlessly. The music in the background droned on with the hardcore beats of rage-filled sex and I went faster and harder into her. Her face contorted into one of pleasure and distress at the sight of my wild desire that I think scared her a little. Her legs spread further while her ankles crossed behind my hips to keep me where I was. Her mouth was perpetually kept open by the amount she had to scream out her pleasure. I knew I angled myself right when I orgasmed once, twice, and even three times in less than a minute. I didn’t stop though. I pounded into harder and harder until she was tearing her vocal chords apart with her whimpering, screaming, and moaning. I kept my wailing to deep groans, but she knew when I came because that was when I slammed into her viciously. I couldn’t count the number of times she had come since I penetrated her, but I knew I was reaching number eight. It seemed impossible, but if everything was correct, a person could orgasm a number of times in a few minutes.

We closed our eyes and pressed our foreheads together to just feel each other. Our bodies were slick from the sweat between us, but somehow we found a rhythm in the explicit beats. I broke away to suck her neck. My cardio had improved a fair amount since we met, but it wasn’t enough to continue with this pace for much longer. I clutched her waist quickly and switched positions so the thrusts were derived from my hips. She opened her eyes like me and watched as I fucked her for the final time. I drove deep into her several times before I looked at her. She looked like she couldn’t orgasm again, but I wasn’t going to allow that. Still pumping into her, I took two fingers and played with her swollen clitoris for a while until I knew she was going to come. The way she pulled at the ropes told me her final climax would be hard and she wasn’t going to scream. I kept going into her roughly and felt my climax culminate. We were going to do this together. It wasn’t three thrusts later that we both silently spasmed at the collective orgasm between us. We were both panting and I barely had enough strength to hold myself up so I slid out of her and collapsed onto her stomach. I took the dildo out of me and set it aside before crawling up her sensitive and restrained body. I looked her in the eyes after I untied her limbs from the bed and from one another.

Her eyes were wild with amazement and what I thought was lust, but it looked deeper than that. When she was free, the first thing she did was pull me close and kiss me hard. Her limbs wrapped around me in a tenacious hold as she flipped us onto my back and kissed me to no end. I held her around the waist, smiled at her, and whispered, “You’re free to go, Kat.” She smiled back at me with a radiance I had only seen one other time and snuggled into me. She nuzzled her face into my neck and whispered, “I want to stay trapped right here . . . in your arms.”

********

The soft notes of a piano infiltrated my restless mind early the next morning. I heard the quiet soprano voice of Luisa drift through the door and I knew she was at the piano again. She tortured herself with her sad songs, but they seemed to help her cope with the mental trauma she suffered. I climbed out of bed, dressed in a tank top and shorts, and headed out to the living room. She was hunched over the piano keys like she was a servant to them. Like she was giving her life to the sorrowful sounds of her past. I approached warily, but as always, she caught me. She wasn’t crying this time, though she played the exact same song she did before. “Why do you only play such sad songs?” I asked, standing beside the piano. She didn’t say anything, just looked back to the piano apathetically and remained still. Not touching any keys. I sat down next to her so I could lean back against the piano to see her face. I eased her gaze toward me with a hand on her cheek and asked, “Why won’t you tell me what happened to you?” She tore her face from my grip and looked the other way. I was slightly angered by the utter disrespect from her but knew if I wanted answers, I couldn’t lose my temper. She never looked at me, but simply started playing the same song over again. When she took a breath to start singing, I placed a finger over her lips and began singing instead.

Mustering all the sincerity I could possess, I sang, “I believe, I believe there's love in you. Gridlocked on the dusty avenues. Inside your heart, just afraid to go . . . “  She looked me in the eyes and continued playing as I placed my hand over her pounding heart. “I am more, I am more than innocent, but just take a chance and let me in and I'll show you ways that you don't know.” I could tell she was getting annoyed with the way I sang the words so personally. I truly did mean her when I sang and that was what got at her. “ Don't complicate it, don't let the past dictate.” I got up and stood behind her with my arms around her shoulders. “Yeah, I have been patient, but slowly I'm losing faith.” She suddenly snapped and smashed the keys of the last chord of the first verse before abruptly standing.

“Luisa!”

“What?!” She was definitely irritated, but I couldn’t stop myself.

“What is wrong with you?!” I knew I shouldn’t have, but I began to push her to her limits with my continuous questions.

“Why won’t you tell me anything?! Why won’t you let me touch you?! Why do you want to be punish—”

“Because that’s just the way I am! That’s just the way I am, Beca.” She whipped around to face me with nothing but pure rage in her voice. I admitted I was a bit fearful of her at the moment, but I kept on antagonizing her.

“Why? Why are you like this? You won’t tell me anything, Luisa—”

“If I tell you, I know you’ll leave me! And I can’t . . . I . . . I can’t lose you.”

“Why do you want me to punish you then? If I told you I felt the same way about punishing you that you do about me touching you, would you want me to punish you then?” She looked horrified. She froze to her place in the center of the room. Her lips parted in shock and her eyes widened. I could see the small sparkle of tears in her eyes from the rising daylight outside and wanted to comfort her, but I was stapled to my place.

“No . . . no, I wouldn’t. Why . . . Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I knew you needed it for some fucked up reason. And while I hate the thought entirely, I actually got turned on by hurting you.” The silence ensued between us and while it felt like there were no secrets between us, I knew there were twelve years worth or even more of secrets Luisa hid from me. I couldn’t blame her. She had no choice in the matter. I knew how difficult it was to talk about personal issues that deeply and emotionally seeded. I wanted to hold her and love her like her birth parents didn’t. I wanted _more_. She was trying for the more I wanted and I was fine with that, but she wasn’t trying hard enough to open up to me. So I made a decision within myself then. I’d try who she wanted me to be since she was trying to be who I wanted her to be and that meant I’d have to see the worst. “Show me,” I interjected, breaking the silence.

“What?” She was genuinely confused as to what I meant.

“Show me the worst. Show me the person you want me to be. Then I’ll decide if it’s worth it.”

“You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“Yes, I do, Luisa. I’m saying I want to punish you the worst way you’ll take it.”

“Fine, Maus. But remember, you asked for it.”

She took my hand and led me to the playroom. She pulled me over to the little bench before grabbing a leather belt off a nearby hanger. She folded the belt in half, placed it in my hand, and instructed, “Spank me six times as hard as you can. I’ll count them out for you.” Her sentence sounded ominous enough. As hard as I could? She really had no idea how hard I could hit and really neither did I until this moment. She bent over the edge of the bench with her head to the side so I could see her face. I thanked God that she was wearing an undone button up and undergarments so I didn’t have to undress her completely. I slid her panties off her legs as I felt the darker side of me take over with its sadism. I stood to the side of her with the belt in the right hand and my left hand at the small of her back, the white silk shirt crumpled in my fist. Before I was ready, I had hit her excruciatingly hard. Her scream wasn’t anything close to what I heard last night, it was full of pain. She breathed out, “One,” and I hit her again. Her scream sounded a little less pained, but it sounded strangled. “Two.” I could see her ass slowly turning red in front of me with every time I brought the belt onto her. I glanced at her face to see tears starting to line her cheeks. I smacked her again, though this time, it was somehow harder than the last two. “Three,” she groaned, breathing deeply. Her voice was deeper than before and in the back of my mind, I wondered why.

“Now you wish you weren’t such a brat, don’t you?” I gritted, raising my hand to hit her again. The belt came down with a loud crack against her bubblegum pink ass and I found the sight arousing in some way. “Four.” The darkest part of me was exposed in these last few moments and the innocent girl in the back of my mind was becoming more scared of me. Luisa was crying by now, but I didn’t care. I hit her again and this time, her scream was like a cliché high pitched squeal from old horror movies. When in reality, this was the horror movie. “Five,” she sniffled after clearing her throat. I looked at her face and saw she stopped crying. Only the tears were replaced by face contortions. I had seen those before. She was trying not to bite her lip. I hit her for the last time to get it over with and her scream was a full out moan. “Six.”

I stepped away from her, dropped the belt to the ground, and told her through tears, “Kneel right fucking now!” She did as I barked at her and kneeled beside the bench. All I could feel was rage and terror. Rage toward Luisa for turning me into this sadistic monster and terror at myself for actually enjoying it. But when I saw her hard lip bite though her head was down, I was even more terrified. “You actually enjoy this?!” I screamed at her. Her head lifted to see me standing above her with tears running down my face. Her face was wet with her own tears of pain and that was what perplexed me. “Do you like seeing me like this?!” I yelled, indicating the mix of rage and terror. She didn’t answer me and let her head hang again. I decided that was it. I couldn’t be who she wanted me to be. I just couldn’t. I stormed out of the room with little objection from her and pretty much ran to my bedroom at the end of the hall. I slammed the door shut and sat on the edge of the bed to double over and cry into my hands. Why did she want to be hurt like that? I cried into my hands for what seemed like forever until I heard a small knock at the door. I knew it was Luisa.

She entered and padded toward me. She kneeled between my legs and tentatively placed her hands on my legs. “Maus? Please . . . let’s just talk about this.” Her voice was soft, comforting even, and I couldn’t stop myself from removing my hands to look her in the face. Her face read nothing but concern for me and I wanted to open up to her.

“Listen, Luisa. I’m . . . I’m not angry . . . with you. It's just . . . I can't give you what you want. You want to be punished and I can't . . . I can't punish you.”

“You're all I want.”

“Then why try to change me into this beast who lives to hurt you?”

“I . . . can't tell you that.”

“This is what I'm talking about! You won't tell me _anything_! Well, I've had it. I can't stay here another minute.” I stood up quickly to get away from her to pack up, but she grabbed me by the hand.

“No, Luisa! You've made your choice. It's not me you want. Now get out!” I ripped my hand from her grip and motioned for her to leave. After one more tear-filled glance at each other, she left and went downstairs. I hurried to pack up because even being in the room terrified me. Once I was dressed with my bags packed, I took them all downstairs. I found Luisa sitting on a chair with her head in her hands. She was clearly crying because of the little whimpers that escaped here and there.

“I'd like the money Pieter got for my car, please.”

“I'll . . . I'll send you a check.”

“Alright then.” I turned away, placed everything she gave me on the counter and began walking away with the one little bag I could carry.

“Let me see you out.” She stood up and followed me to the elevator door. While we waited for the elevator to reach our floor, I hit fuck it and turned to Luisa. I had to tell her now.

“You know, despite all of this, I managed to fall in love with you.” I tried to muster a smile but the fear in Luisa's eyes told me no response was appropriate. Tears ran down my face again at the realization that she didn't love me. _Couldn't_ love me. I was too stupid to realize it before. The sudden ding of the elevator brought me to my senses and I stepped in quickly. She looked like she wanted to tell me something but by the elevator doors closed, there was only time to say two things.

“Maus—”

“Luisa.”

********

**Luisa**  

 

I pressed my forehead and hand to the closed doors with tears running down my face. “I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Onto Fifty Shades Darker!


	11. Chapter 11

[ ](https://www.flickr.com/photos/151741305@N08/39853348970/in/dateposted-public/)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this is so late! Life hasn't been very kind to me emotionally and I haven't been able to write. Hope you like!

**Luisa**

 

_ “What the fuck did she do?!” Oh no. He’s yelling again. I knew what came after he yelled like that. The loud crack of his hand across Mama’s face was it. I stood in front of them as they did it too. I was always forced to watch Mama’s punishment and she had to watch mine too. She got a slap across the face while I . . . my punishment was much worse. I didn’t know what the problem was, but from what Mama was telling him, I could tell that kissing my friend Mina was wrong. We were only friends but the kiss was nothing. It was something we did to say bye to each other and I was careful to not let Mama or Daddy see it or else they’d get like this. Daddy continued to scream at Mama and she cried for it. He of course never liked crying, so when he saw the tears on her cheeks, he slapped her again. I wanted to cry too because I didn’t want Mama to get hurt more, but I knew I’d get hurt worse. No matter how much she got hurt, she always hit me for getting her hit. I tried to look away from the situation, but that was when Mama was shoved to the ground. I quickly looked at her to see if she was alright, but Daddy had already come for me. He brought his hand down hard and I was sent to the ground with Mama. I couldn’t stop the tears. Or him. He stomped to me and all I could see were his brown leather boots with the shiny buckle. He pulled one back and it shot forward into me. _

“That’s what you get, you faggot!” The words burned into my memory as I woke up, paralyzed with fear. My whole body shook in utter shock and tears ran down my face in torrents. Not another nightmare. Damnit. All I could smell were cigarettes and alcohol and all I could hear were the words that still haunt me. Hesitantly, I sat up in the dark. I was fearful of everything unknown in the darkness and silence of the apartment. I pulled my knees up to my chest, which was like a jackhammer from my heart, and rocked back and forth alone in my bed. I buried my face in the silk sheet covering my half naked body and cried endlessly. Despite all that happened those years ago in Germany, I still turned out to be the good-for-nothing faggot my parents never wanted. Why did I ever let Maus go? Why couldn’t I be who she wanted? Why couldn’t I just tell her, “I love you,”?

 

********

**Beca**

 

I’d managed to survive nearly a week without Luisa. My new job kept me pretty busy since I was the assistant to the head producer, Bumper Allen. He was a decent boss, but a lot of the time, he was asking personal questions and standing a bit too close. He was a bit of an asshole most days, but nothing I couldn’t put up with. Quite honestly, his arrogance seemed to distract me from the hole I constantly had in my chest. It was as if his douchebag act gave me something else to think about besides the woman who so permeated my dreams. My dreams of soft, delicate skin, gentle blue eyes, silky blonde hair, and bright smiles. I hated the dreams I had of Luisa, though I couldn’t deny I still loved her. She was too beautiful to understand, but she believed she was too broken to be loved. Too broken  _ to _ love. If I had known from the second I fell in her office that she’d be the one to hurt me like this, I wouldn’t have agreed to tea that day. I wouldn’t have given her my virginity. I wouldn’t have loved her. My life without Luisa seemed impossible to imagine because I knew she was what I needed. She was  _ who _ I needed. The woman who’d save my life. The woman who’d  _ be _ my life. I needed to stop thinking about her and quick because pondering about her like this so absentmindedly was a good way of getting myself to cry harder than before. Luckily, my phone began to ring.

“Hello?” I answered, trying desperately to hide my pain.

“Hey, Becs?” It was Jesse.

“Oh, hey Jesse! How are you?”

“I’m fine, thanks for asking. I just called to see if you were still coming to my show tonight.” Shit. I had completely forgotten about that. My voice was shaky when I responded, but I managed to hide my surprise.

“Oh, yeah. Totally. Where is it again?”

“The Savannah Street Gallery at seven. See you then?”

“Of course, Jess. See you.” Oh, I’m fucked. I hung up and breathed deeply to calm myself. I placed my headphones back on and ran over those tracks Bumper wanted me to review before I had to leave. Soon enough, he noticed me working and walked over to me. He sat on the edge of my desk, though I didn’t notice, and he tapped the back of my laptop screen so he got my attention. I hurriedly took off my headphones and looked at him flatly. He couldn’t sense my disposition so he just talked to me nonchalantly. “Hey, Beca,” his tongue rolled, a sexual undertone coming through. “Some of us were going to go out for drinks tomorrow and you’ve had a pretty good week that deserves a celebration. Wanna come?” Not for you, I didn’t. For Luisa, anytime. I shook the sexual fantasy out of my head and looked back at him.

“Yeah, sure. But I have to go now.”

“Alright, see you tomorrow then.” I left without another word to anyone, except Emily, but that was just a goodbye. My stomach rumbled viciously as I headed to the train station and I remembered the last time I ate anything, which was last week. I didn’t have the time to think about food, especially when the only thing I was hungry for was Luisa’s luscious lips. I needed to stop that. The train ride was fairly neutral besides the heavy rock I listened to. I needed to calm my nerves of seeing Jesse after such a long time and listening to angsty music helped. The insane beats also helped me to forget Luisa’s presence in my life at the current moment. Sooner rather than later, the ride ended, and I hopped off the train a little past seven. I was already late. I was glad I took the express instead and hurried to the gallery Jesse told me about.

The Savannah Street Gallery reminded me of a refurbished warehouse with its rustic brick walls and high ceilings, but overall had a modern, eclectic feel to it. I appreciated the heavy odor of photographs as it was a stark contrast to the light, cinnamon aroma of Luisa. I grabbed a glass of wine and walked around in my black jacket, classy t-shirt, and jeans. I tried to look for Jesse among the large groups of people surrounding various photos. Some were landscapes, others were forests, but they were all spectacular. I had to compliment him on his work. Suddenly, I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to be faced with Jesse in a suit. Wow. He looked good. Instantly, I was brought into his arms with a big bear hug that was actually comforting. I found it surprising that he could comfort me even after all the hell we’d been through. Yet, the hole in my chest still remained. “Hey, Becs. I’m glad you made it.”

“So am I. All these are wonderful.” The shy smile that spread across his face was one I remembered from our early days at Barden and I felt a bit of unwelcome nostalgia for those days again.

“Thanks, but you haven’t seen the best of them.” He took my hand and pulled me over to a room where there were just portraits. Of me. Six different pictures of me in various moods and situations were displayed around the room, all in black and white. I gasped in shock at first, nearly dropping my glass of wine, then I relaxed enough to ask him, “When did you take these?”

“When you helped me with the equipment a couple times. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier, but these were my best photos.”

“No, Jesse. It’s alright. But you should’ve told me.” We stood there, side by side, and admired . . . me. I found I didn’t mind it after a while, but I got self-conscious when everyone around us started to turn and gawk at me. They all recognized me. I suddenly realized why Luisa had such a fondness for privacy. Attention like this was horrifying. Then again, I am a natural introvert. A lady in a nice suit came over and asked Jesse to speak with her. When he came back after almost a minute, he was smiling so wide I thought his cheeks would burst. “What?” I asked, his overexcited mood frightening me.

“Someone apparently likes them because they were all bought.” My jaw nearly dropped to the floor. Who could’ve bought these? Was I now going to be someone’s porn? Jesse walked away to mingle with others and left me standing there in shock. I finished off my glass of wine and took a deep breath before spotting the one person I didn’t want to see. Luisa. She stood just a few feet in front of me in a blue shirt, jeans, and a brown jacket. She had more mascara and eyeliner on than she usually did with her hair pulled back into a ponytail where strands got loose and framed her face. She looked tortured, remorseful even. I froze in my place. We met eyes and never let go. We were both too scared of what would happen. When she stepped closer to me, I instinctively took a step away from her. “Don’t come any closer,” I warned, setting my glass on a nearby table.

“Please, Maus. Can we just talk about this?” She sounded strangled and pleading. Not sexual pleading, emotional pleading. She looked nearly in tears. I couldn’t stop the emotions that welled up inside me.

“There’s nothing to talk about, Luisa. You’ve made your choice. I’m not the woman for you.” A tear fell down my cheek and I hoped to God that no one was watching us. She looked more agonized by my statement and I could see her temper rising slightly. I knew if I pushed her, she’d blow in front of everyone here, but that wasn’t my concern anymore. “Look, Luisa. I want everything you can’t give—”

“I love you! Okay?! I love you, Beca.” I was stopped in my tracks. She what? Now, everyone was definitely staring. Luisa didn’t seem to care because she pretty much broke down to tears in front of me. Sensing no danger, I went to her and hugged her. She pulled me closer to her and stopped crying because she remembered how public this scene was. “I love you too, Luisa. Now, can we get out of here? I think we can work something out between us,” I comforted, pulling away to wipe her tears. She nodded and waited while I said bye to Jesse, who almost complained that I was leaving so early. He accepted it as soon as he saw Luisa and we were on our way. I held her hand and led her out of the building. I knew I shouldn’t have done it, but I looked up and down the street before pulling her into a little alley. I pushed her back against the brick wall and held her waist as I pressed an emotional kiss to her lips. I missed her so much.

She held my face in her face and poured all the emotion she could into our teeth clashing kiss. She missed me too and was going to show me such. I knew I had to stop when my hands slipped under her shirt and wrapped around to the small of her back, but I couldn’t. Tongues got involved and before either of us knew it, we were both crying at how much we missed each other. How much we loved each other. The realization came back to mind and I jumped away from her quickly. I held my hands flatly against the wall behind her, one on each side, and looked her in the eyes. “We can’t do this. Not here, not now. We need to talk first,” I established, making sure she understood me. The solemn removing of her hands from my face was enough indication that she was willing to try talking it out first. There was one step forward. I took her hand again and we walked off to find a suitable place to talk.

********

She appeared uncomfortable in the small restaurant we found and she looked slightly paranoid of everyone and everything. She was constantly fearful of the clicking of boots as they passed us in the distance or the lighting of a cigarette. She tried to remain calm and make as much eye contact as she could muster to maintain her calm mood, though when she broke it, she couldn’t sit still. I could tell she was trying to hide the hell she had been through in the past few days. I had my fair share of hell and we both just needed to find some common ground we could work with for the time being. Our food and wine were brought out soon after we were sat, but neither of us could eat. No matter how much I was starving, I pushed past it to talk to her. “How have you been? No doubt it’s been torturous. The same goes for me,” I stated, sipping my wine.

She took a deep breath, raised her eyes from her lap, and answered, “I’ve . . . I’ve really missed you, Maus. Let’s just say that.” She was barely keeping it together from the way her voice cracked to an unusually high pitch. She kept clenching and unclenching her fists while rocking back and forth slightly in her chair. She refused to look at me in the eyes for more than a second and even then, she just looked at my arms. I felt the urge to hold her and comfort her, but I couldn’t fall back into that hole. “Nothing’s changed. I can’t be who you want me to be,” I continued, trying to get back where we left off Saturday morning.

She connected eyes with me and almost whined, “You are who I want you to be.”

“No, Luisa. I’m not.”

“You’re upset from what happened last time. You could’ve stopped . . . but you didn’t.”

“I tried, Luisa. I tried to enjoy hurting you. I tried to punish you the way you want to be punished. I . . . I wasn’t thinking.”

“You weren’t thinking?! How can I trust you?” She was becoming like a big child and I didn’t want to have to babysit anyone right now.

My anger kind of boiled over and I snapped. “Listen, Luisa. I’m sorry I didn’t stop when I wanted to, but if you can’t have an adult conversation with me, then you can forget us being together again.” This seemed to bring her into line. She took a deep breath and sat up straighter in her chair. She stared me solidly in the face with her dark blue eyes and became a sense of business-like.

“Fine. I have a proposition for you.”

“What would that be?” I asked with an air of sarcasm. I really didn’t believe she had anything that would actually make me consider being her dominant again until she said it.

“I think we should have what is be called a vanilla relationship and work our way into the things I like once we trust each other more.” I was shocked. She’d be willing to give up how she fucked for her whole life to just have me? She truly did love me. My heart skipped six beats at the thought.

“Well, it’s not that I don’t trust you, Luisa. It’s just what I want and what you want don’t match.”

“What don’t you want?” She was genuinely curious.

“I don’t want to punish you for one. And no rules. It’s hard enough keeping track of them anyway. Secondly, I actually liked dominating you. It’s just I can’t handle your joy in getting hurt. I’m willing to sexually torture you, but not punish you.”

“So you’d be willing to whip and flog me if we’re having sex?”

“But only to the extent that  _ I _ find pleasurable. And that means not making you cry.” We both relaxed after the informative talk we had and could finally eat. Dinner was fairly quiet, but after all we said, there was nothing left to say. So when she had Pieter take us home, we shared a few gentle kisses. “Thank you for tonight. I realize how hard it might’ve been,” Luisa admitted, staring at the ground with her hands in her pockets. I went to her and tried to hold her around the ribcage, but she caught my hands. “Touching there is a hard limit for me.”

“I wish I knew why. But you tell me when you’re ready to.” She smiled shyly and intertwined our fingers as she kissed me softly.

“I love you, Luisa Meyer. And since you’re willing to do this for me when I’m so undeserving, I’ll try being your dominant with time. Who knows? We may find something we both like.” She chuckled and kissed me again without responding. I found it annoying slightly, but I knew how hard it was for her to admit it the first time. She turned away for a second and received a box from Pieter. She handed it to me before giving me one final kiss with both her hands at my face. “Laters, Maus.”

“Laters, Kat.”

********

The next day at work was a bit uncomfortable because Bumper was unusually attentive, especially to me. I knew we and a few others were getting drinks later that day, but that didn’t mean he had to be hovering over me the entire day. Every chance he got, he was next to me and looking at what I was doing as if it made any difference to him. He was the one who gave me the work to do so he didn’t have to ask what I was doing. On my lunch break, I managed to call Luisa before she had another meeting. “I just mean, like, he’s been all up in my business all day,” I complained, handing over the money for my lunch sandwich.

“Well if he ever does anything to you, and I mean  _ anything _ Beca, let me know and he’ll be out sooner than you can imagine.” She sounded very defensive and I had to admit how my heart fluttered at the thought of her protecting me. “Believe me, I won’t have anything like that in my company,” she finished, her tone harsh and critical. I had never heard her so defensive and I had to wonder why. Everyone would be defensive if their partner was a victim of such atrocity so I totally understood. Then, her statement stuck out to me.

“What do you mean ‘your company’?” I could hear the small gasp over the line and I stopped in my tracks with my lunch in my hand.

“Um . . . yeah . . . about that . . . “ She was avoiding the question.

“Luisa. Did you buy the company I work for?”

“ . . . yes?” Her response was a mere squeak and I knew she knew how I would feel about it. I was certainly angry with her for it and made my way to the busy street to talk to her about it.

“Luisa, you can’t do that! You expressly said you wouldn’t mess with my career and what are you doing now?”

“Listen, Beca. It had nothing to do with you. Atlanta International Records was the most profitable studio and it was going stagnant anyway. I thought I could help it reach its full potential. I had no idea you worked for them. You didn’t exactly tell me where you had interviews.” She had a point. I knew AIR had some big artists, but I knew we were waiting for the right singer-songwriter to push us to the top. Some of my anger subsided, though I still wanted to talk to her about it. She probably had a meeting anyway. I walked back into the office with my lunch, sat at my desk, and waved to Bumper to signal my return.

“Hey, Beca! Who you talkin’ to?” he asked from the next room over. I held my phone against my shoulder to respond to him.

“My girlfriend, that's all.”

“Oh, great. Why don’t you invite her to drinks tonight?” He had a sarcastic tone to his voice as if he didn’t expect me to say ‘girlfriend’. I ignored it as I went back to finish with Luisa.

“Hey, Lu. Would you like to join us for drinks tonight?”

“With your boss?”

“Yes, and a few others. So, do you?”

“Sure. I’ll be there by six. Laters, Maus.” I hung up the phone soon after, knowing she wouldn’t respond if I told her I loved her again. A stupid smile spread across my face at my love for this completely mysterious woman. I knew who she was, I just didn’t  _ know  _ her. She was so sweet and kind, though she refused to believe it, and she was capable of love, she just didn’t believe she deserved to be loved. I thought it was because her parents abused her when she was younger so she was inculcated to believe she wasn’t loved at all. The thought made me want to cry, despite the smile on my face, but I was going to love her hard. I was going to show her what it was like to be crazy in love with someone. What it was like to be loved.

The loud smack of a hand on my desk woke me from my thoughts and I looked up at Bumper. He looked curious, but I just looked lost for a second. “So . . .  _ Beca _ . You have a girlfriend?” he asked, crossing the line of boss-employee boundaries.

“Yeah . . . and?”

“I was just wondering. I mean, it’s fine with me if you’re gay . . . I just wanted to warn you because there are some people in the higher up positions who don’t feel the same.” Was he trying to warn me about homophobia? I thought so, but I couldn’t help think there was some ulterior motive.

“First off, I’m not gay. I’m bi and second, I could act straight if need be ‘cause I still am attracted to men.”

“Great. Just checking,” he commented, rocking off my desk. He went back to his office for the rest of the day and didn’t come out until it was time to get drinks. When everyone else had left, I was the only one left in the office. I hurried to gather my purse and such before rushing out of the building. I waited to cross the street at an appropriate time but was approached by another woman. She had sharp blue eyes, contrary to Luisa’s soft ones, and her hair appeared to be dyed a dark brown. I could see her ginger roots coming through, but that was only when I looked particularly closely. I had no idea who this woman was or what she wanted with me. She merely looked hostile and asked, “Are you Beca Mitchell?” I slowly nodded my head in complete confusion. She dragged her eyes critically up and down my body as if she were sizing me up. She scoffed once she was finished with her visual assessment and made me feel violated.

“What the fuck could you have that I don’t?” she hissed, fear tingling down my spine.

“I-I’m sorry. Who are you?” I asked nervously, afraid of the response.

She stepped closer to me, leaned down to my face, and sneered, “The person whose life you ruined.” With that, she turned away and briskly paced down the street. Finding no other solution for what just happened, I assumed she had something to do with Luisa or it was all a big misunderstanding. I hoped for the latter and went to the bar across the street named Fifty’s where the place actually resembled the Red Room with its dark red walls and dim lighting. The last pleasurable memory I had of that room came to mind and I was out of breath. The rock music, the rough fucking, and the obscene sounds permeated my mind and I found it difficult to concentrate on my conversation with the receptionist as the thoughts of the fake brunette faded from my mind. She droned on about her family as I mentally drove into Luisa with four fingers. My mental sex ended when I actually couldn’t breathe and almost choked on my drink.

Bumper slapped my back a few times to help me clear my throat and I quickly recovered because I didn’t want him to touch me. I stood at the bar with my back to the door and talked to Bumper for a while. I drank another drink before checking my watch. It was almost and six, but Luisa hadn’t shown yet. Then, I felt her. The bell above the door rang and I smelled her cinnamon aroma instantly. “When’s your girlfriend getting here?” Bumper asked, sipping his beer. Luisa came up behind me and wrapped her arms around my waist to pull my into her front. Definitely a protective move against Bumper. She nuzzled her face into my neck and kissed below my ear. “Girlfriend’s here now,” she whispered, pulling my earlobe playfully. Bumper straightened up at the sight of my Kat and cleared his throat.

“Oh right. Luisa, this is Bumper. Bumper, this is Luisa,” I introduced, pointing to each one respectively.

“You must be the boss,” Luisa greeted, holding out her hand. She smiled kindly, but I could tell she was still on the defensive.

“And you must be the girlfriend. You never told me your girlfriend was the biggest businesswoman in Atlanta, Beca.”

“Must’ve slipped my mind, I guess.” Luisa made sure she staked her claim of me by kissing my neck again and slipping her hand underneath my shirt. It wasn’t unwelcome, just a bit of surprise. I giggled and held her lips against my neck with a hand at the back of her head. My other hand came to caress her arm after setting down my drink and I giggled some more. I was sure Luisa could tell he was getting jealous, which was why he broke the silence so abruptly. “Do you want a drink, Luisa?” he interrupted, wanting to break the intimacy between us.

“No, actually. We had plans after this anyway,” she responded cooly, not letting her anger seep through.

“Oh, alright. I guess I’ll see you on Monday then,” Bumper resigned, seeing he had no chance.

“Yeah, I guess. See you later.” Luisa took my hand and basically dragged me out of the bar with my things. She was acting weirdly and I wanted to confront her about it. When I slid into the back seat with her, I did just that. Pieter just ignored us while I exploded on her.

“What the fuck was that about?!” She deeply breathed and turned to me calmly. She took my hands in hers and kissed them individually.

“Look, I’m sorry for the way I acted. I just wanted to make it very clear to your boss that you’re not his. With the way you described it, it sounded like he was unwillingly coming onto you. And I certainly wasn’t going to have you feel uncomfortable in your place of work.” I switched focus from each of her eyes to see nothing but sincerity and I knew I couldn’t be mad at her for trying to protect me. I huffed out a breath and climbed into her lap.

“Okay, it’s fine. I understand why you did what you did, thank you.” I snuggled into her chest with my arms around her neck and I felt her arms hold me close to her. I kissed her neck once as the window rolled down to let some cool air in and closed my eyes.

“I love you, Lu.”

She kissed my forehead and rested her head against mine. “I know, Maus. I know.”

********

She slumped into the kitchen with the several bags from the grocery store down the street and plopped them onto the counter of the island in the center of the tiled floor. “What are we making again?” she asked, nearly out of breath. I laughed at her and slapped her ass lightly before getting out the necessary equipment to make stir-fry. She was flustered because she’d have to help cook dinner when she had no background in culinary skills at all. “And why can’t I just watch you cook dinner? You know I can’t cook to save my life,” she whined, wrapping her arms around my waist. I removed her hands from me and turned around to face her. She looked pouty like a child, but it was sexy nevertheless. “No touching me unless you beg for it. And you have to learn someday,” I explained. She huffed out a breath in defiance and went to unpack everything. I put everything we didn’t need away before showing her how to cut a pepper. She rolled up the sleeves of the button up she was wearing and went to the task. Albeit very slowly, she managed to get one pepper cut while I diced all the chicken. “Good girl. Now cut the other four,” I instructed, seeing her complaining face.

I held a finger out to her in warning after quickly chopping the onions. “Act like that and you’re not going to get so much as a measly word about it for the rest of the night.” Her attitude change was instant and she focused severely on what she was doing. Once she got the peppers cut, she tossed them in the wok I had going and groaned at the splashback of oil. All I could do was stare at her in mock disbelief. She had to have understood that oil hurts when it’s hot so I was wondering why she didn’t put them in slowly. My thoughts wandered back to earlier today and I remembered what I wanted to talk to her about. “So you’re buying the company I work for because you want to help it expand? Is that correct?” I asked, stirring everything around.

“Ja, Maus. That’s it. I don’t want to interfere with anything you do.”

“But you do realize I’d be dating my boss’s boss?”

“Well actually, I’m your boss’s boss’s boss so . . . “

“Don’t be a smart ass.”

“I’ll be a sexy ass. For you only.” Her voice dripped with seduction and I found cooking difficult after that. She was practically begging me to touch her in some way with the way her tone fluctuated and I could feel my own clitoris become uncomfortable in my skinny jeans. When she placed a hot kiss underneath my ear, I was done for. I turned off the stove, pushed the wok on a cold back burner, and pushed her into the fridge behind her. Bottles rattled at the impact, but my tongue was already mapping her mouth and neck. I pressed my hips into hers in an attempt to turn her on and she breathlessly moaned. “What do you want me to do, Kitty Kat?” I whispered, licking the back of her ear.

“F-Fuck me, Maus.” She needed some relief so I took her hand to lead her to my bedroom. I stood her near my bed and flipped on a lamp for some light. She bit her lower lip harshly, but I couldn’t stop myself from kissing her so hard I ended up pulling at her lip with my own teeth. “Don’t do that. You know what it does to me.” Without warning, I unbuttoned her shirt quickly and kissed every inch I could see, being careful of her no touch spot. I unbuttoned her jeans and slid them down her legs with her panties. She used my head to steady herself as she stepped out of them awkwardly. I kneeled in front of her glorious half-naked body with my hands on her slender hips. “God, you’re beautiful,” I said, kissing each of her inner thighs. She reflexively hissed at the shot of desire to her core and flexed her hips in want.

“Tell me what you want, Kat,” I whispered, trailing my hands up and down her legs. She gasped at my reluctance to do anything to her, which made her whisper, “Please . . . kiss me.” Following her commands, I held her in place by her ass and licked her clit long and hard. She arched toward me then pulled away with a low moan. Hearing no objections, I continued to lick her clit faster and faster until she pulled my head away by my hair. She didn’t want to come yet. I knew that much. I rose to my feet, pushed her shirt off her shoulders, and stood in awe at the sight of such a woman. I could see her scar protrude from her bra, but I didn’t pay attention to it as I asked, “What about me?” The sensual eyebrow raise and gentle lip part were all I needed to know that she was going to be painfully slow with her removal of my clothes. She stepped behind me and traced my stomach lightly with her fingers before taking off my shirt and lining my shoulder with her warm, soft lips. Her hands in my pants were too much for me to handle and I instinctively tried to grind against her. As fast as they were in, she took her hands out to pull down my pants. She left both undergarments on and stood back up behind me with one hand snaked between my legs. Two fingers slipped into my folds and loosely circled my clitoris. The feeling sent sparks up my body, but I wanted her to make tighter circles.

She stopped once I was ready and wanting. She stood back in front of me and waited for instructions. I was going to pay her back for teasing me the way she did so I told her, “Lay down on the bed, now.” Silently, she did as I said and laid on her back in the center of the bed.

“Take off your bra.” She sat up a second to reach behind her and unclasp her bra before tossing it aside. She laid back down while I crawled up between her legs. The sheet balled in her fists as I ran my tongue along the inside of both her thighs to finish with a flick of her clit. She moaned and closed her legs around me. I adjusted her legs so they went over my shoulders and my arms wrapped around to her hands where I pried them from the bed sheet and intertwined our fingers. It appeared as if I was trapped in her legs when she was trapped in my vice grip of tongue and hands. She had nowhere to go except orgasm. The anticipatory moan she let out expressed how she reveled in the position and I wasn’t going to wait to hear more of it. I went at her hard. I kissed, licked, and sucked the life out of her swollen clitoris. She writhed and squirmed beneath me, but I wouldn’t give up.

She screamed and pleaded with me to relieve her of the misery of waiting for her climax. After she had had enough of my little game, she stilled and cried out, “P-Please! Beca, please! M-Make me come!”

I took my mouth away from her, looked her in the wild eyes, and demanded, “Relieve yourself.” I jabbed my tongue into her clit once before she ground against my face desperately. A few moments later, she came on my face and rode out her orgasm gently. A light-hearted whimper echoed off the walls as she came down from her high and I kissed her sensitive clit. Her grip on my body loosened enough to lay on top of her while still being close. She held my face and kissed me greedily. She licked off her fluids from my chin and mouth with a satisfactory groan deep in her throat. “It’s time for the Kat to eat her Maus,” Luisa insinuated, flipping us over. With her hands on my thighs, she spread them far enough to fit more than three fingers inside me but opted to just use her talented tongue. “Oh, the Maus loves to be eaten by her Kat. So eat away, Kitty.”

********

We sat on the floor in the living room after finishing the stir fry we made. She wore only her undergarments as she devoured the rest of her food and set the bowl aside. Her legs were criss-cross applesauce like we used to do in school and she inherently looked childish. I finished my food before pushing my bowl to the side and laughing at her. When she looked at me expectantly, her impossibly big eyes sparkled in the limited light of the evening. She held her ankles where they crossed and rocked back and forth just like a young child. She was too adorable at that point. “Do you want some dessert?” I asked, sensing her anticipation.

“Ja! Bitte. Ice cream if you have it,” she giggled, positioning herself on her hands and knees in front of me. Her just fucked hair draped over her shoulders delicately and her smile was infectious. I could’ve sworn she was drunk at that moment, but I knew we barely drank half a bottle. Giving her more sugar probably wouldn’t have helped the situation and certainly not encouraging that kind of behavior. I kissed her lips quickly, took the bowls to the sink, and snagged the vanilla ice cream from the freezer. She sat back on her heels when she spotted the dairy treat in my hand with only one spoon and waited for me to sit down against the couch again.

I stretched my legs out and she graciously straddled them to eat our dessert together. I popped open the container and tried to get the spoon in there. “Still too frozen,” I commented, setting it off to the side to warm up a bit. She huffed out a breath of frustration but moved closer to me so she could wrap her arms around my neck. I held her hips as I leaned up to kiss her sweetly. “You know I’m still mad at you for buying the company,” I pointed out jokingly, looking into her eyes.

She sighed, pouted her lips, and admitted, “I’m sorry. I just . . . I just wanted to take care of you.”

“You sure have a weird way of doing it.” I didn’t realize how insensitive my remark was until she refused to look me in the eyes.

“It’s . . . it’s the only way I know how. You . . . Showing emotions for you is easy, but I’ve never felt anything like this. And when you left me . . . I . . . I was felt more hurt than I had ever been.” I could see the tears in her eyes that threatened to spill over if I didn’t do something to reassure her. I reached up, cradled her cheeks, and individually kissed her eyes.

“Oh, Kat. I wouldn’t have known that if you didn’t tell me, but I’m glad you did. Hey, Lu . . . look at me.” She raised her eyes to look me in the face. “Now I understand how hard it is for you to talk about how you feel. And as a way for you to practice, you can write poetry or even just saying ‘I love you’ now and then would work. But it’s only then that you’ll be more comfortable with your emotions, okay?” She nodded her head and kissed me gently. I knew I was slightly pushing her to say those three words which held such gravity in her life that I took for such granted, though I knew she was capable of saying them because she felt the same.

“Okay, Maus. I’ll try . . . for you.”

I adamantly hugged her, kissed her collarbone, and whispered, “I love you, Luisa. Don’t you ever forget that.”

She hugged me back, kissed the side of my head, and whispered back, “I won’t Maus. I won’t.” We snuggled a bit longer before realizing we had dessert to eat. Instantly, Luisa lightened up at the idea. I picked up the tub and spoon and prepared to feed it to her. I scooped some out and pretended to give it to her, but did a last minute switch and ate it myself. She pouted childishly, even with the protruding lower lip. I played the trick again, but she was more playful about it. The third time I actually gave some to her. The ice cream had melted quite a bit since I opened it and a small drop or two dripped off the bottom of the spoon. They landed in the little valley between her breasts and she squirmed at the coldness. I leaned forward to lick it off and she whimpered at my cold tongue against her warm skin. She took the spoon from me, fed me some, and purposefully spread the ice cream across my face just so she could lick it off.

“Oh you’re a feisty Kat,” I teased, kissing her passionately. She broke away from the kiss, set the ice cream aside, and tried to crawl away. She didn’t get very far before I tackled her to the floor and kissed her again. We were both laughing hysterically at each other. She held me tightly with her arms and legs. A serious look overtook her face and I had to ask about it. “My parents have their annual charity for orphan and foster children tomorrow and I was wondering if you wanted to come with me,” she proposed, sincerity boring from her irises.

“Sure, but I wouldn’t know what to wear.”

“Don’t worry, Maus. I’ll handle that. Would you prefer a dress or suit?”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! Sorry, for the very late update! Hopefully, I'm more stable now and updates will become regular again. Cross our fingers that motivation doesn't leave me again.

**Beca**

 

_ Sharp blue eyes pierced my mind as I stood on the street corner. Suddenly, I was lifted off the ground and the concrete felt miles away. “What do you have that I don’t?!” Her words were biting. Before I knew it, I was dropped into a dark hole with no end. I was only vaguely aware of my own screaming. _

“Beca! Beca!” Luisa shouted, shaking me awake. My eyes snapped open to see Luisa poised above me with tears in her eyes and her hands on my shoulders. We were both still naked from earlier in the night and she was straddling my waist. The full gravity of the situation didn’t hit me until she collapsed to my chest in tears and rambled, “Oh, Maus. Have I really been that horrible to cause you nightmares?” As she wept into my shoulder, I held her around the shoulders for comfort. I was still weirded out about the bad dream I had. The girl looked like me but wasn’t. Now that I thought about it, the girl in my dream was me. I was in the same condition as the girl from the previous evening, which was why I didn’t recognize myself. “It was that girl,” I gasped, the epiphany hitting me at once. Luisa raised her head at my baffling statement, wiped away her tears, and asked, “What girl?”

“There was this girl who stopped me outside of AIR yesterday. She looked like me but was clearly ginger. She . . . she was just overly intimidating.” The shock on Luisa’s face was nearly palpable. Her eyes were probably wider than I’d ever seen them and she was speechless. Her gaze slowly drifted away from me and she appeared to be figuring out some mathematical equation. She knew this girl, that much was obvious. While she was putting pieces together, I decided to get up and get something to drink so I pushed her off of me. I was almost out of bed when she grabbed my wrist ferociously and pulled me back to her. I yelped out of surprise, yet she didn’t let go of me when I protested. “Luisa, let go!” I screamed.

“No, Maus! I can’t! I can’t let her take you from me!” I had no idea what she was talking about. She sounded all panicked and I could hear her hyperventilating in my ear. I turned around in her arms, held her face in my hands, and kissed her deeply to relax her. “Alright, I won’t leave. But you need to explain what’s going on. As best you can, that is.”

She took a couple deep breaths before she admitted, “The girl you saw yesterday . . . was Chloe. She’s an ex-dominant of mine. And the reason why I had to leave California so early was that she nearly attempted suicide in front of Ms. Jones. She must’ve released herself from the hospital and saw that picture of us in the newspaper or something . . . but . . . it’s clear she is out to get you.”

“Can’t you call her family?”

“She left her husband about four months ago. That’s all we have record of.”

“Husband?”

“Yeah. She wasn’t married while with me. But I don’t know what’s triggering this behavior. I don’t know why she’s doing this now.” I kissed her then hugged her. She really seemed to need it. I assumed the reason their relationship ended was the reason why ours was flourishing. I had the more everyone else wanted. I could feel her breathing on my neck as she tried to calm herself down and the light brushing of her lips against my skin. “Don’t worry, Maus. I’ll never let her hurt you.” She held me tighter. “I won’t let  _ anyone _ hurt you.” We held each other for a few more minutes for her to gather her thoughts and laid back down in the sheets. She reached over for her phone on the nightstand and called someone I didn’t see.

“Hallo? Pieter? Yeah, I’m sorry to wake you up at this time, but it’s Chloe. Beca saw her yesterday at AIR around . . . six?” she explained, all business-like. Pieter said a few things I couldn’t hear before Luisa hung up and placed her phone back on the nightstand. She rolled over to curl back into my chest and fall asleep. I snuggled into her blonde hair and fell asleep in seconds.

*********

She pulled on an oversized tank top of mine with a pair of shorts that came down to her mid-thigh. I stood in front of her in a similar outfit and watched the way her exposed muscles flexed. “How often do you exercise?” I quipped, reaching out to squeeze her bicep. Her arm was pure muscle and so were her legs, not that I was complaining. She smiled a little at my amazement and then answered my question while she pulled her hair into a ponytail. “I work out every weekday with my trainer Klaus. Yes, it’s coincidental that we both happen to be German, but he is very qualified. He was an Olympian in track and field, though all I do is running, weights, and MMA.” My jaw dropped at the last fact. She knew how to MMA fight? And she was the submissive? I didn’t think so. I shook my head back to the present and turned to walk out of the room. I went to the kitchen to grab my purse so we could head out for the day and she came up behind me. She held my waist and kissed my neck sweetly. “What do you want to do today?” she questioned, pressing her body against mine.

“Well, I need to get my hair cut and deposit a check.” I held up the envelope that Luisa gave me last Saturday and laid it on the counter. She stared at it for a second before holding a pair of keys in front of my face.

“Which reminds me. This is yours.” She slipped the keys into my purse and walked away. I gaped at her for a second while I contemplated what to do. I took the keys from my purse and tossed them back to her.

“No, it’s not. I told you before I didn’t want it.”

She threw them back to me and said, “I don’t care. Take it.” She held up her hands to disavow her responsibilities. I stood there with the keys in my hand and stared at her for her insolence. Somewhere inside me, I wanted to punish her again for the whole car gift, but I knew she wanted to take things slowly. I wanted to do the same, but not as slowly as she was taking things. She could see my palm twitch from across the room and instinctively held her ass. She was resisting the urge to bite her lip, which would’ve made me punish her for sure, and shoved her hands in her back pockets to avoid doing something stupid. I took a deep breath and decided on a non-sexual approach to the situation. I reached over for the check and tore it into pieces. I let the pieces float to the ground in between us as her jaw dropped exponentially.

She raised an eyebrow at my evil smirk and asked, “So that’s how you want to play it?” She pulled out her phone, dialed a number, and watched me while it rang. The phone was picked up almost immediately. “Morning, Andrea. I apologize for such an early inconvenience, but I need something done. Oh, me? I’m fine, thanks for asking. How about you? That’s great. Well, it’s just a simple transaction. Could you please transfer thirty—no, fifty thousand dollars to Miss Rebeca Mitchell’s account? Can you have it done by noon? Fantastic. No, that’s all. Thanks, Andrea.” She hung up after that and promptly turned around to walk out the door.

I was left standing in the kitchen with my mouth wide open as she waltzed out the door like she didn’t just invade my privacy and give me unnecessary money. I ran after her in frustration and yelled, “Luisa! Come back here!”

********

“I’ll get that,” I snatched the bill off the table. We sat in a small breakfast cafe with the remainder of our coffee and tea in front of us. Tea for me, coffee for her. She gave me a little scolding look for my sneakiness, but I just stuck my tongue out at her. “Believe me, Luisa. Since I’m fifty thousand dollars richer, I’m sure I can afford . . . 22.56,” I stated, placing my debit card on the bill. The waiter came and got the bill in less than a minute, then came back less than five minutes later. We got up and left hand in hand. I wrapped Luisa’s arm around me and held her waist while we walked down the street. “Are you sure you want your hair cut?” Luisa asked, glancing down at me.

“Yes, look at it.”

“You’re still beautiful to me.” I thought I fell more in love with her for that statement and curled into her side more. “And the adorable Maus you always were. The Maus I love.” She whispered the last sentence so I couldn’t hear it, but I barely did. My heart basically melted and I couldn’t stop myself from whispering back, “Love you too, Kitty,” and kissing her cheek gently. She blushed at my confession, though I wondered why, and stopped in front of a fancy looking door. She calmed herself down before opening the door and pulling me in.

Inside was all black and white and sleek. Certainly reminiscent of the elegant hair salons in movies. The reception desk was silver marble and metal with a blonde woman in the chair behind it. We walked to her and she looked up from the computer screen with a smile on her face. “Ms. Meyer. What a lovely surprise,” she said, a light rose color taking her cheeks. I could tell that she was in awe of Luisa, and while I didn’t appreciate it, Luisa smiled back at her with a flirty tone to her voice. “Is Franco available? My girlfriend Beca would like a haircut,” she purred, pulling me back to her side. The woman at the desk shot me a slightly dirty look before looking at her computer screen. Luisa turned her head to kiss the side of my head and I leaned up to whisper in her ear, “What the hell was that?” I couldn’t hide the jealousy in my voice and she could clearly tell that I was mad at her for her interaction with the receptionist. She glanced at me with a guilty look as if she knew what she did and was willing to accept her punishment. “Franco is available in fifteen minutes,” the receptionist said.

“Great. Thanks, Greta.” Sensing my anger, Luisa took me by the hand and led me to a secluded corner of the waiting room where no one else was. When I knew no one could see us, I pushed her against the wall and kissed her fiercely. She kissed me back with her hands holding my cheeks and let me in between her legs. Hands on her hips, I told her, “Hands on my shoulders and don’t move them or else.” She followed instructions and let me trail my kisses down her neck. I bit her neck fairly hard out of anger and ground into her to make her desperate. “Wh-What are you doing, Maus?”

“Just giving you a simple reminder, Kitty. It’s clear you don’t remember who you belong to.” With that, I unbuttoned her shorts and unzipped them enough to slip my hand into her underwear. Her grip on my shoulders tightened a bit at the feeling of my hand at her sensitive region and she let out an airy moan. Her legs shuddered shut and trapped me between her legs. I pressed my palm against her clitoris and pressed my other hand against the wall beside her head. “Look at me,” I commanded, completely in control of the situation. She opened her eyes painfully and stared at me with a wild look in her eyes. Her breathing was heavy, but that was because I started running my hand back and forth between her wet lips. “Now, listen. Stay quiet when you answer me, got it? I don’t want anyone but me to hear your noises. And on that note, I want you to tell me who owns this pussy. You seem to have forgotten,” I pointed out, sliding my middle finger into her.

“You . . . You do. Gott! Please, Maus.” She began to grind on my hand but never broke eye contact. I circled her clit with my thumb to get her off since I had already turned her on so much and was about to finish her off when she awkwardly pushed me away with wide eyes. Hurriedly, she rebuttoned and zipped her shorts. I looked to her eyes for an answer, but they were staring off in the distance behind me. So when I turned around, all I could see was a platinum blonde in a black, casual suit. She was watching us with a knowing look on her face. And just based off of her stance and demeanor, I knew immediately who she was.

Mrs. Robinson.

She walked toward us easily with a smirk on her face. Luisa instinctively grabbed my hand and pulled me to her. “Luisa! How nice to see you!” Mrs. Robinson greeted, turning to me next. “And who is this?”

“This is Beca. My girlfriend. You should have already known that, Gail.” Luisa sounded a little mad and I realized that was because she knew who she belonged to. Gail placed a hand on her chest like she was offended and responded sarcastically, “I must have forgotten. I apologize, Beca. My name is Gail Abernathy-McKadden.” I wanted to amend her statement so she said Child Molester instead of her actual name, but I didn’t want to offend her. I could’ve ripped her head off if I wanted to and I did, but I didn’t want to go to jail. I knew she was one of the people who made Luisa so fucked up and I wanted to make her pay for giving Luisa such complexes, but morality was being a bitch. She sensed my disposition toward her and calmly asked, “Can I talk to you, Luisa? Alone, please.” Luisa glanced to me, then to our hands, and begrudgingly let go. They sauntered off a few feet so I couldn’t hear them and began to speak. Luisa looked triggered from where I was standing while Gail looked as nonchalant as anyone could. I wondered what they were talking about, but Luisa shouted, “No, Gail!”

In a sudden rush, Luisa grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the salon. She canceled the appointment and continued to storm down the street until I stopped abruptly. “What is going on, Luisa?!” I screamed, tearing my hand from hers.

“I don’t want to talk about it right now, alright!” Her phone started ringing and she didn’t hesitate to answer it.

“Welch,” she snapped, the anger present in her voice. She just listened to what the person on the line had to say before she interjected her own reactions. “What?! Why didn’t the doctor find that out?! Get everybody you have to find her. She’s been watching us for the past few days . . . yes. Immediately. Bye.” She hung up and brushed her face with her hand in frustration. She heaved out breaths to keep herself a semblance of calm and took my hand again. She began to head in the direction of my apartment and I had to wonder why. “What happened” I peeped, fearing an angry response.

“Apparently, Chloe left her husband Chicago about three months ago and the guy she ran off with died in a car accident about three weeks ago. So she’s coming back in grief.” Her answer was terse, but she went on to explain what that meant to me. “We’re going back to your place to get some of your belongings because you’re staying with me until we can find her.” I stopped dead in my tracks. She knew what I was thinking because she whipped around quickly and scolded, “Don’t try me. You’re coming to my place for now. I’ll have Franco come over later to do your hair. Alright?”

“Yes, Kitty.”

********

We weren’t at the apartment for more than half an hour when Franco showed up. He was small, dark-skinned, and gay. Of course Luisa chose him. No threat of flirting with me. He seemed to be Italian, but his accent sounded fake because of how overdone it was. I ignored it as he started on my hair. Luisa went to her study to handle something and didn’t come back in until he was finished. “Thank you, Franco,” I said, hugging him goodbye. We all smiled and he took his leave calmly. Luisa watched me from a few feet away and all I could do was stare at her with anger. “Are you mad at me?” she asked, inching closer to me. I held up my hand to stop her before she came within explosion distance. I was furious with her for several reasons, none of which I wanted to explain to her. But my better side won and I answered honestly. “Yes, very mad.”

“Why?” She had a slight pout to her lips and I wanted to spank her for it, but I knew punishment wouldn’t help in this situation.

“For one, you completely invaded my privacy this morning when you gave me money I didn’t want. Two, you flirted with the receptionist when you won’t let  _ anyone _ flirt with me. Three, you let  _ Gail _ touch you! I mean, I can touch you, but you’re always so temperamental about it that I don’t know when and where I can touch you!” She seemed very receptive to what I had to say that she just stood there with her hands in her pockets and listened. Once I was finished, she considered what I said before taking my hand gently.

“Let me remedy those then. ‘Cause I can’t stand being away from you for one reason or another.” She led me to her study where she pulled out a folder with my name on it. She handed it to me and sat down in her desk chair. I opened it to find information on me that even  _ I _ didn’t know. I apparently have blood type AB negative. I flipped a couple pages and found my financial record. There was my bank account number at the top of the page. What the hell? “I do background checks on all my dominants. To trust you, I need information. But when I met you, I knew I wouldn’t need to do a background check.”

“Why? A leap of faith?”

“No. You were too innocent to have any sort of record.” She stood up and went to me. She had a wicked smirk on her face as she held my waist to kiss me. I placed a finger on her lips to stop her. “Not before you solve everything,” I told, slightly less annoyed.

“Right. About your flirting situation, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize how hypocritical it made me. I’ll stop it.”

“And the touching thing?” I set the folder aside and held my arms at my sides.

“Gail knows where it’s fine. Plus . . . your touch is different.”

“How so?” She awkwardly looked away, yet pulled me closer anyway. As if it would kill her to say it louder, she leaned down and whispered in my ear, “I-It . . . It just means more. So, so much more. More than you would think.” She pulled back to look me in the face and I saw her pupils dilate at the sight of me. She tentatively reached for my hand and I let her take it. She placed it over her heart with my palm flat against her chest and I felt her heart pound out of her at the mere touch. She rested her forehead against mine and held my hand against her. She closed her eyes at the danger of tears and whimpered, “This is what you do to me. I . . . I don’t know how to explain it. You’ve changed me so much. I’ve never wanted more before I met you and now that this more exists, I don’t ever want it to disappear. So, please Maus. Don’t ever leave me like you did last week. I couldn’t bear it if you did.”

I saw the underlying agony in her facial contortions and assumed she was thinking about last Saturday when I had hurt her. I hesitantly reached up to hold her around the shoulders for comfort. She accepted the hold and I kissed her sweetly. “Alright, Kat. I promise I won’t leave again. I love you. I just wish I had something so I know where I can never touch you.” She pulled away and looked me in the face.

“That’s not a bad idea.” She took me to her bedroom and sat me on the pale blue sheets of her bed. She went across the room to her vanity and pulled out a tube of lipstick. She came back and sat in front of me. She handed me the lipstick before taking off her shirt and bra. “What am I doing?” I was completely baffled at what the scenario was, but somehow understood the reason behind this. She carefully instructed me, “Open it. You’re going to trace the area you can’t touch.” When I opened it, I found a harlot red stick that I knew she would most likely wear. I twisted the bottom to reveal the actual stick and held it in my hand like a pencil. She lifted up her right breast with her left hand to expose the white scar on her ribcage. She took deep breaths as she took my hand with the lipstick and pressed the makeup against her skin.

She began at the lower tip of her sternum, dragged my hand down to about an inch and a half above her belly button, then across to her side. She traced up to her breast and curved underneath it to complete the oblong quadrilateral. In the center of the red outline was the infamous scar that had such a story I was desperate to know. I wanted to know what happened to her, I wanted to help her, but of all the things we couldn’t talk about together, that was number one. I knew it was her discretion to share it with me and I wanted to respect that privacy, but the piling on of secrets was becoming too much. From Chloe to her past, Luisa was a greater mystery to me than anything Sherlock Holmes or Nancy Drew was faced with. Knowing I couldn’t do anything at the current moment but deal with it, I accepted the boundaries and kissed her. I sat in her lap with my hands on her cheeks. “Thank you, Lu.” She held my waist. “No, thank  _ you _ , Maus.”

********

I stared at myself in the mirror as I pulled on my dress shirt for Luisa’s event tonight. I decided on a suit and heels so I was just a bit taller. I knew she’d be wearing heels and I wanted to make sure she didn’t tower over me. With my hair up, I concluded simple makeup would be sufficient for the evening ahead and quickly did it before thinking of a plan. It wasn’t so much to punish her as much as it was for my personal pleasure, but it was evil enough to be considered punishment. I pulled on my heels and grabbed the small key I left on my nightstand. It was a copy of the key to the playroom. While she was getting ready downstairs in her room, I snuck out to the playroom and found what I was looking for. A pair of metal balls attached together by a leather strap. I knew where these went to really get to her and it helped when I found out that this pair vibrated. I snatched the remote, slipped both into my pocket, and headed to her room. I didn’t knock before walking in and stopping at the most glorious sight ever. She stood in front of the large window where the auburn sky shone through and drenched her perfect body in beautiful light. She hadn’t noticed me and continued to put her hair up with the various clips between her teeth. Her reflection in the mirror expressed complete calm and serenity in her big, blue eyes.

The sincerity written on her face as she put such effortless effort into making her hair look perfect put me into a trance I couldn’t break away from. She wore a grey strapless bra and matching panties that gripped her curves in all the right places. She was the epitome of beauty and sexiness. When she finished with her hair was when she noticed my presence. She wasn’t surprised at all and simply asked, “Are you just going to stand there gawking?”

“Yes,” I whispered as she glided toward me in her silver heels that matched her lingerie. The smirk across her face gave me the indication that she knew what I was doing, though I knew she had no clue. I could feel the balls in my pocket and smirked back at her with the thoughts running through my mind. I held her waist where I was allowed and noticed the lipstick was still there. I looked up into her eyes before kissing her gently. Her soft hands on my face seemed to seduce me alone and I found it difficult to concentrate on anything. “I had an idea,” I pulled out the balls, “Maybe you could wear these tonight?” Her interest was piqued at the sound of metal against metal but when she saw the balls, confusion struck her face. It was clear she hadn’t used them before and I was glad for that because it meant it’d be a new experience for the both of us.

“And how do I wear these?” she asked, her sensuous low voice all alluring. She went and sat on the edge of her bed with her hands off to her sides. Her long, toned legs hung off the bed in a formal manner that only added to the wetness developing between my own limbs. God, she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. I walked to her, stood in front of her, and requested, “Open you mouth.” Parting her full lips, she opened her mouth slowly in anticipation of what I was about to do. I placed the balls in her mouth to wet them with the strap hanging out. Once they were surely coated, I removed them from her mouth and held them in front of her face. “On your stomach, now,” I commanded, following her every move. She hesitantly laid on her stomach and left her legs off the bed where her ass was right in front of me. Perfect. With one hand, I pulled her panties down until her sex was exposed to me fully. I ran a finger between her lips slowly before slipping it inside her to spread her. She moaned at the penetration but didn’t move. She was wet enough that there was almost no point in wetting the balls. Still, I slid another finger into her and spread them so she opened up further. One by one, I pushed the balls in between my fingers and into her. She gasped at the entrances. I smiled at her surprise before removing my fingers and cleaning them quickly.

I replaced her underwear and had her stand in front of me. She had to breathe so she didn’t freak out and I kissed her. I knew she felt what the balls did when I stepped away and she followed me. The sudden moan was enough. She reached me in seconds and by then, she was basically begging to be spanked and fucked. I pressed the button on the remote to trigger the vibrating and she dropped to her knees quickly. “Please . . . fuck me,” she pleaded, looking up to me with a wild look in her eyes.

“Fine. But I’m not taking those balls out.”

********

Holding hands in the back of her car, I glanced over at Luisa to see her smiling out the window in childish wonder. We were nearing the party and I knew she was excited to see her family. The pale pink lipstick she wore appeared almost nude but simply added to the beauty she was already leaking. I leaned over and kissed her cheek gently only to see her blush. She sat back in her seat and looked at me. We connected eyes and found ourselves taken over by love. It wasn’t until Pieter, who was driving, cleared his throat and told us, “Masks on,” that we snapped out of our daze. Luisa let go of my hand to open the wooden box between us to reveal two masks. One, which I assumed was hers, was silver and made of lace filigree wrapped around an extravagant pattern to surround her eyes. The other, mine, was a simple black mask wrapped in black silk. Both had their individual ribbon ties of the same color as the mask itself and dotted with little diamond looking stones. She handed me mine and then put hers on. It surrounded her eyes perfectly so her bright blue eyes stood out most. I couldn’t see myself when I put mine on, but I knew it turned her on because she pressed her thighs together.

After getting out of the car and walking up a dark green carpet, we finally made it to our table where Luisa’s family was sitting. Grace was the first to greet us because John wasn’t there. “How nice to see you again!” she shouted, giving me a hug. Luisa dropped my hand again to her dismay and allowed us to be reintroduced to the family. Jessica was there and probably the most excited to see us. She was screams and giggles, which Luisa was fascinated by. Once we had been acquainted with everyone, even Luisa’s grandparents, we all sat down and divided into our separate little chat groups. Luisa talked with a different guest at our table while I talked with Jessica about anything. She unabashedly held my hand and stayed close to me even when she wasn’t directly interacting with me. Everyone at the table could plainly see her attachment to me but what they noticed most was how we looked at each other. Soon enough, our attention was turned toward the stage where John was standing in a suit and gold mask. “Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to our annual charity ball. My wife and I are very gracious for your donations so far to Coping Together. As you know, it is a very personal charity for the two of us . . . “ John went on to introduce the master of ceremonies before coming off stage to sit next to Grace. I turned to Luisa for a second.

“I remember you saying the charity was for foster and orphan children, but you never told me specifically what.”

She thought about it for a second before breathing and answering, “Coping Together is for foster and orphan children who were abused by their birth parents. The charity is to help them find relocation to a loving family. My parents began the charity a few years after they adopted me.”

I couldn’t stop my little squeal at how loving her parents were and inherently held her face to kiss her deeply. I pressed my forehead to hers and smiled. I could hear Grace awe a little at the sight. “I love you,” I whispered, hoping Luisa would say it back. All she did was kiss me back and refocus her attention back to the stage where the auction had started. That was really starting to bug me. She refused to say anything about her love for me, though I knew she loved me. It just didn’t seem like enough, simply knowing. It was like her love was there but not visible. I didn’t know how to explain it other than that. I let go of it for the time being and went back to the auction.

“Next up for auction is A Weekend Vacation in Aspen, Colorado for six. Provided by Luisa Meyer,” the master of ceremonies announced, reading from his card.

I shockingly turned to Luisa. “You have property in Aspen?”

“Yeah, Maus. I have property in many places. I’ll have to show you them someday.” She smirked before turning me back to the stage. She placed a kiss on the back of my ear and I felt my face heat up at her soft touch. The bidding had reached twenty thousand dollars and no one else wanted to go higher. “Twenty thousand? Once . . . Twice . . . “

“Fifty thousand dollars!” I suddenly heard myself in the midst of the silence. I froze. Did I just do that? The collective gasp from everyone else at the table, Luisa included, made me realize it hadn’t been a dream and I actually bid fifty thousand dollars.

“Fifty thousand to the lady in black. Once . . . Twice . . . Sold! Fifty thousand dollars to the lady in black!” The room erupted in applause as Grace reached across the table to thank me personally. When everyone else went on to the next item, I looked at Luisa to see her confused face. She stared at me in awe with furrowed eyebrows. I couldn’t tell what she was thinking. I reached down and slipped my hand underneath her silver gown. I ran my hand up her leg while I leaned over to her. Her grip on my hand tightened when my hand reached her thigh which was when I reached her ear with my mouth. “What’s wrong, Kitty? Maus got your tongue?” I whispered, low enough so only she could hear me.

“I don’t know whether to yell at you . . . or submit to you.” Her expression represented her mixed responses. I could tell she was mad at me for spending the money but she seemed appreciative that I spent it on the charity. After all, it was a great cause and showing Luisa that I cared about other children who shared similar experiences to her would possibly open her up to some conversation about her past. But seeing this wasn’t the time for heavy talk, I fed my darker side and told her, “I’ll take option two.” I pulled back, not removing my hand, and she stared at me dumbfounded. Taken over by the urges I knew she was bound to have, she placed her hand over mine and slid it further up her leg. A few of my fingers brushed her very wet clitoris and she squirmed. “Oh yeah, we’re definitely remedying this situation now,” I whispered, standing up. No one at the table questioned our disappearance since I just spent fifty thousand dollars, which was a great cover when Luisa took my hand and pulled me desperately toward the house.

We climbed several flights of stairs before walking into a room fit for Gerard Way during his emo phase. There was a cork board plastered with different pictures from various places in the world and concert tickets for several rock and heavy metal bands, ranging from Metallica to MCR. Shelves were covered with trophies for piano and MMA fighting. Luisa stood behind me as I took in the scenery before she stepped in front of me. I remembered what we were up here for and pointed to the surprisingly queen-sized bed. “Stand there, back to me. Keep your heels on.” She folded her hands and followed my instructions carefully. I made my way to her and held her hips. I licked the back of her ear and whispered, “I’m going to undress you, bind you, spank you, then fuck you. Understand?”

“Yes, Mistress.”

“Good. Don’t be afraid to express your satisfaction.” I switched my grip to the zipper on her dress and began to unzip her. While removing her dress, I placed gentle kisses everywhere I could. She stepped out of the gown and I hung it on the back of a nearby chair. I removed her bra quicker than her dress and kissed across her chest. Holding her hips again, I sucked each of her nipples with a little bite on each. She moaned at the pain but didn’t pull away. I kissed down her stomach and removed her soaked panties. I could see her leaking fluids from her entrance. She was so wet I could smell her sex from my kneeled position. When I went to lick her, she fidgeted as if she was going to hold my head there. “Nuh, uh Kitty. Keep still or I won’t fuck you.” She hesitantly held her hands close to her and I leaned forward more. I ran my tongue through her folds and looked up to her. She tried her best to keep her orgasm at bay and amazingly, she did. I stood up, kissed her, and said, “Good Kitty. I’ll have to reward you for that.”

She smiled a little before I pushed her down onto the bed face first. Her legs hung off the edge but I pushed those onto the bed as well. She was face down on the bed with nothing but her heels on. I licked my lips at how turned on I got from the sight before untying my bowtie. I kneeled between her legs on the bed and pulled her hands to the small of her back. Using my tie, I bound her hands together. She turned her head to the side so she could speak. “When are you going to remove the balls?” she choked out, her desire causing the strain in her voice.

“When I want to, Kitty. Now be quiet unless it’s in pleasure.” For her outburst, I smacked her ass hard. She moaned in pain and pleasure. I held her wrists, lifted them up, and continued to spank her on alternating sides. She got especially rowdy when I spanked up her ass and hit close to where she wanted me. She moaned and whined that time and I decided it was enough teasing her. After reaching down into her wetness, I found the leather string and pulled the balls out of her. I held them up to my mouth and sucked on them to taste her. Once I moaned satisfaction, I dismounted the bed to flip her over after untying her hands. I removed my jacket, shirt, and pants. I mounted her and instantly she had me in a tight embrace. Her hands held my face and her legs wrapped around my hips. I could feel her heels dig into my calves but oddly enough, I found it such a turn on. “I should have you wear these every time.”

“I just might if it so pleases you, Mistress.” I kissed her impulsively and pressed our bodies together. I ground into her as I kissed, bit, and sucked her neck. She moaned at every harsh thrust and eventually she was begging, “Please . . . please fuck me.” I looked her in the eyes to see her big, blue eyes wild with want and desire. I reached down and ran my fingers over her wetness. She moaned as if she had just come harder than ever and continued to grind against my fingers. Seeing how desperate she was, I slipped three fingers into her and fucked her hard. Luckily for me, she was so wet and so far up that I barely got a few thrusts in before she came harshly. Kissing her calmly helped her ease down from her brain fuck of an orgasm. After she went down on me and we got dressed again, we headed back to the party where the First Dance Auctions were about to start.

Jessica approached both of us about it but ended up only pulling me onto the stage for the auctions. The MC introduced the event to everyone in attendance and Luisa took her place back down at the table. A few other girls on stage were made examples of because they each pulled in at least five thousand dollars each. The MC walked over to me next and Jessica started jumping up and down excitedly. “Let’s hope Luisa wins you. We don’t want a brawl staring,” she joked, confusing me.

“What do you mean ‘brawl’?”

“Oh, Luisa was very hot-headed when she was younger. I mean, when she wasn’t as quiet as a stick.” The statement confused me even more, despite its explicitness. Luisa was in fights? The MC began to make up various things about me to excite interest in my otherwise boring personality. Before he even finished, Luisa stood up and shouted, “Ten thousand dollars!” The MC was as surprised as everyone else in the room, but one guy to the far right stood up and retorted, “Fifteen thousand!”

Neither Luisa nor I recognized the gentleman who was also bidding on me and both Jessica and I could see Luisa’s temper rising slowly. “Twenty thousand!” Luisa snapped, shooting an angry look at me and the gentleman.

“Fifty thousand!” the gentleman played, smirking at Luisa’s rising temper.

In an act of pure insanity and anger, Luisa yelled, “One hundred thousand!” Everyone was shocked, even me. I knew she’d go to any length to protect me, but I never thought that would include spending a hundred thousand dollars to prevent someone else  _ dancing _ with me. The gentleman thought for a second before holding up his hands and exiting the party. The MC called it and Luisa won me for one hundred thousand dollars. The rest of the auction was uneventful as no one bid as high as Luisa and when it was time for the First Dance, everyone made their way to the dancefloor. Luisa and I danced for a while before I needed to go to the bathroom. She was asked to dance with her father anyway.

I went and while I was washing my hands, another woman in a tight black dress walked out of a stall and stood next to me. Her mask was gold filigree and covered everywhere from her nose to her hair so i didn’t recognize her. “I’ve been waiting to meet you alone,” she said, indicating me.

“I’m sorry, do I know you?”

She removed her mask and I immediately recognized her. Mrs. Robinson. “I apologize for startling you. I know what you think of me, Luisa’s told me. But, I’ll be brief. It must be obvious she’s in love with you. I’ve never seen her act this way around _anyone_ _ever._ She isn’t very akin with her positive emotions, but you must’ve figured that out by now. Anyway, she doesn’t think she’s worthy of being loved.”

“How do you know this?”

“Because she’s told me this as well.” She pulled out her phone and began to click some things. “All I’m going to tell you is that if you hurt her again, I will personally find you and you won’t like it when I do.”

I didn’t know what power possessed me at that moment, but I instinctively laughed at her threat. “You think this is funny?!” She was clearly offended. “You don’t know what happened that day, do you?” Her face tightened in certain places as if she was about to cry and I realized she was serious.

“No, what happened?” She handed me her phone and it was opened to voice recordings.

“Listen to the first one. It’s a phone call I recorded with her after you left her.” I clicked the recording and held the speaker up to my ear to listen:

_ Luisa was crying. “I . . . I don’t know what to do.” _

_ “What do you mean?”  _ Mrs. Robinson.

_ “Well, Beca’s left me and now I’m sitting on the edge of the balcony. I just don’t know what to do.” _

_ “You’re what?! Luisa, listen to me. What you need to do is get off the balcony and head inside. I’ll be over to talk to you.” _

_ “What’s the point? She doesn’t want me, she’s made that very clear, and to make it worse . . . she loves me. I just don’t understand what’s wrong with me.” _

_ “Oh, Luisa. There’s nothing wrong with you, Baby. You can live without her—” _

_ “No, I can’t! As much as it fucking pains me to say it . . . I . . . I love her too. I . . . can’t stop thinking about her. I  _ voluntarily  _ want to sleep next to her! I can’t be away from her without losing my mind. I . . . I just love her.” _

_ “Then tell her. You need to live for her then. Get off the balcony and find her to tell her. That’s the only way you’re going to survive. If she truly loves you, she will accept your love . . . She will accept you, Luisa. Believe me. It’ll work out.” _

The rest of the conversation was irrelevant but the main point stuck out to me. Luisa nearly committed suicide. All because I left her. I was immediately guilty. I handed the phone back and told her, “Look, this doesn’t change how I think about you but I will say Thank you because you did stop Luisa from jumping. So Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Beca. Maybe I’m not so bad as I seem.” Without responding, I turned and left the bathroom. Luisa found me instantly. She embraced me fervently and now I knew why. She did love me. I just had to stop being so paranoid when she didn’t say it back. I held her back but with a more tenacious grip than before. She asked about it and I said we’d talk about it later because I needed to gather my thoughts about it. She looked over my shoulder to see Gail walk out of the bathroom I was in and she became solid. She was clearly done with Gail messing with me. She told me she’d be back and followed Gail to a private corner of the room. I was left alone and John took the opportunity to take my hand.

“Mind if I have this dance?” he asked, kissing the back of my hand.

“Sure, John,” I giggled, being taken into his arms. He was light in his movements but an ulterior motive for dancing became obvious.

“I wanted to thank you for your generous donation.”

“I’m delighted to contribute. A whole debacle with Luisa gave me the amount I donated. Plus, from Luisa’s told me about her past, I found it necessary to help other children like her.”

He was definitely taken by surprise. “She did? That’s odd. Well, you certainly have a positive effect on her. I’ve never seen her so . . . happy. It’s as if what she went through never existed.”

“She’s told you?”

“Well, I only know what my wife’s told me, who knows most of the story.”

“It sounds very traumatic from what I remember.”

His face grew solemn at the memories that were resurfacing. “The night we found her, we were on vacation in Germany. We had gone out to dinner and as we were sitting outside, there was Luisa running up the street with a backpack on. She looked terrified but before anyone could ask her anything, she . . . she collapsed. Luckily Grace was there or else Luisa would’ve . . . she would’ve—”

“It’s okay, John. You’ve said enough. You must be so proud of her for what’s she’s done with herself.” I thought back to the phone call I listened to. My mood immediately depressed.

“Immensely so. But, the real thrill is seeing her act her age like she was tonight. Both Grace and I were commenting on that. I guess we have you to thank for that. Whatever you’re doing for her, please never stop.”

“I won’t, I promise.” The song ended and we went through our civilities before parting ways. I found Luisa soon after and she seemed serious.

“What is it?”

Thank God I didn’t have to force it out of her. “It’s Chloe. She’s obtained a concealed weapons permit.” I was ultimately shocked. Chloe . . . with a gun. Dear God, I was definitely dead. Luisa took me by the hand and called Pieter. He led us out to the car where the other security person was waiting. I didn’t catch his name before we climbed in and went home. We skipped the firework display but Jessica sent me pictures so I got enough from them. I fell asleep against Luisa’s side and didn’t wake up until we got home at Luisa’s apartment.


	14. Chapter 14

**Luisa**

 

The ride home was fairly silent since Beca was asleep. I talked with Pieter and Sawyer, who was in the passenger seat, and stared at Beca. Pieter saw the way I looked at her and knew she was special to me. I truly did love her but I had difficulty telling her such. I apparently loved her enough to die if I didn’t have her, as proven by last Saturday. I hoped Maus never found out about that. I had no idea what I would tell her if she found out I tried to kill myself. So I sat there with her sleeping on my side while I stared out the window of the car. It wasn’t until we pulled into the parking garage that anything went wrong. I glanced out the front windshield and saw disaster. The car I gave Beca had white paint splattered over the front and three out of four tires slashed. Damn, that was going to be a bitch. I assumed Beca sensed my worry because she shot up in panic and asked, “What happened?” All was explained when she saw her car and her jaw dropped. “Was that Chloe?”

“I’m pretty sure, Maus. No need to worry though. Pieter will handle it.” Pieter climbed out of the car as well as Sawyer and began investigating with the rest of my security team. I knew we couldn’t stay here for long so I got Beca out of the car and up the elevator to my apartment. She was shaking with fear and I didn’t know why I wasn’t. Sawyer went up with us to make sure Chloe wasn’t in the apartment. Pieter had already gone up before us and began looking around. When the elevator doors opened to the foyer, we stepped in that much but weren’t allowed to go any further. If confronted with Chloe, I knew how to mitigate the situation. Sure, it wasn’t the best option, but it would work. After a while of Sawyer just standing there, I got tired of waiting and went to search myself. I let go of Beca and walked into the dark apartment. I turned on lights as I went to help my search but I still couldn’t find Chloe.

Eventually, the whole apartment was rummaged through and there was no sign of Chloe. It was safe. I went back to Beca, who was still in the foyer, took off my heels, and carried her to my room. I laid her down on the bed and undressed her while she was half asleep and willing. “I love you, Kitty,” she told me as I went for her shirt buttons. That awkward statement again. I couldn’t avoid it forever and I knew that. I just . . . didn’t want to deal with it at the moment. I smiled at her, kissed her, and didn’t reply. I couldn’t come up with anything to say. Instead, I went to my dresser and grabbed a t-shirt for her to wear. I pulled it over her head before situating her under the covers. She fell back asleep instantly. I went into the nearby closet and unzipped my dress. I took it off but didn’t bother putting anything on because Pieter has seen me half naked before. I went out into the living room where Pieter was standing with the rest of the security team and dismissed everyone else. I needed to talk to him alone. “Ms. Mey—”

“Cut the shit, Piete. I seriously need to talk to you.” He could detect the urgency in my voice and didn’t hesitate to sit down on the nearby couch.

“What is it? Is everything al—”

“I love her.”

“Oh.” He was silent. He knew what it meant to me to love someone, especially in a romantic sense, and the thought took him aback.

“Yeah. And I can’t—I don’t understand it. I want to cry and laugh at the same time because maybe . . . just  _ maybe _ she’ll be able to change me. For the better. You saw what happened with Chloe. She eventually got abusive in front of other people and I wasn’t having it. But . . . Beca . . . she’s different. She doesn’t want to hurt me at all and she genuinely loves me. I want to give her the world but . . . but I’m scared.”

“Scared of what?”

“That . . . that she’ll find out about my past and just want nothing to do with me because of it. Like I’ll be too broken for her to love.”

“Well, it is a hell of a story to tell someone.” I could only think back to what happened all those years in Germany.  _ The boots, the screaming, the . . . the . . .  _ I couldn’t even say it in my mind. I guessed I was too afraid to say anything about my past to Beca. Except for the abuse part, which I managed to squeak out. “That’s what I’m trying to say. How do I just tell her? ‘Hey, Beca! Let’s talk about my abusive parents and all the horrible shit they did to me for a while!’ No. That’s not how I want it to go.”

“Listen, Luisa. You’ll tell her when the time is ready. For now, all you can do is gather your thoughts and decide what you want to tell her first, next, and last. If I were you, I’d start with the time you began to consider running away. Then, I’d tell the rest from there.”

“You’re suggesting I start with one of the worst beatings of my life, then tell her the most horrifying experience of my life? Yeah, that’ll go over well. She’ll never want to see me again.” Tears I didn’t even know were there began to drop onto the floor. I sat in a chair across from him and pulled my knees up to my chest. He leaned forward and placed his hand on my knee. It was comforting enough for me to reach out and hold his hand. It was soft but not as gentle as Maus’s hand was when I held it. I assumed that was because I was in love with her and not Pieter. “Believe me, Lu. If she truly loves you, then she will stay with you.” We spent the next few hours talking about various things but I ended up crying so the talk was helpful. It was getting late, so we decided to call it a night and head to bed. I was searching through my study for something when Beca walked in. She yawned and walked toward me with my t-shirt clinging to her body. She raised an eyebrow at me before explaining, “I thought I told you about exposing yourself to other people? That includes Pieter. While he may be gay, he’s also married.”

“Ja, Maus. I know. What are you going to do about it?” She reached me, held my waist, and sat me down on my desk.

“I might have to punish you for it.” She bit my earlobe then my pulse point because she knew full well those places turned me on most.

“God, yes, please, Maus.”

“Great. It’ll distract me from that horrible dream I had.” I became concerned as she kissed down my neck.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, there was someone standing at the edge of the bed while I was sleeping. They disappeared when I turned on the light and then the door to the balcony was open.” She stopped kissing me when my face dropped.

“Oh, shit. It was Chloe, wasn’t it?”

“Ja, Maus. Now we need to get out of here before she does anything else.” I stood up, grabbed her hand, and pulled her to my bedroom to pack our bags. Pieter followed our frantic figures and asked what he could do to help. I threw clothes into a bag for us and told him, “Check the building. Chloe is still here. Beca just saw her in here.” I pulled on sweatpants and a t-shirt before tossing some pants to Beca. She scrambled into them and waited for me to finish packing. I snatched the keys to the Audi we took gliding and her hand again. We went to the car and hurried out of the building. On the way to the interstate, I called Pieter and had him set up arrangements for the next few days. He told us we’ll be staying in Grace and I knew what he was talking about. My boat on the coast of Savannah. I headed to the interstate and headed east at nearly ninety miles per hour. We were there in an hour. I picked up the bag and Beca since she was asleep and carried both to the boat. We were going to sleep here for the night before taking sail the next morning.

I laid her down in the queen size down below deck and tossed the bag on a nearby chair. I shut the door before laying down next to her and falling asleep.

********

I woke up the next morning to find my shoes had been taken off and I was placed under a blanket. I sat up to find Beca wasn’t next to me then smelled breakfast. She must have gone out while I was asleep because there wasn’t any food here. I was sure to scold her for it until I realized there was a little shop only about half a mile away and after rationalizing the distance with myself, I determined it was low risk anyway. I climbed out of bed and went to the next room where Beca was singing to herself and making eggs. “Using limited resources, I made eggs and toast. I hope that’s fine with you,” she said without having to look over her shoulder.

“Eggs and toast are fine. Thanks, Maus.” I kissed the side of her head and held her around the waist. She turned around and hugged me around the shoulders to respect my boundaries. She buried her face in my chest and I thought she was going to tell me she loved me again. Instead, she let the moment speak for itself and stayed quiet. I figured it was because she knew I wasn’t going to tell her the same back. The idea disheartened me and I thought about it all throughout breakfast. She knew I was deep in thought and didn’t bother me but then again, she was staring at me weirdly like she wanted to talk to me about something. I anticipated a serious talk in the near future and in the back of my mind, prepared to talk about anything. That included my past even though I wasn’t ready yet. 

After breakfast, I decided to take a shower so I’d be clean from last night’s escapade. I undressed and turned on the shower. Once the water was warm enough, I stepped under and closed my eyes. It was like everything I had been through was cultivated into a short film that played behind my eyes.  _ The abuse, the . . . the  _ skip over this part,  _ the silence, the fights, then Beca. And happiness. And freedom. And . . . life. Love. _ That was when I opened my eyes and looked down. I saw the restricting red line of the lipstick still on my body and began to cry. At least, I tried because of the shower. The line represented all I was hiding from Maus. All that I hid from myself. Everything I refused to tell her was manifested in the physicality of the harlot red line to my heart. Not literally though, figuratively speaking. As I stared down at myself, I saw a pair of arms wrap around my torso below the line and felt a body press against my back with a face nuzzle in between my shoulder blades. “What’s wrong, Kitty?” the voice echoed lightly off the walls. Hearing her sweet voice in the mess of horrid thoughts made me cry more and I covered my face with my hands.

She gave me a light squeeze and said, “Come back to me, my love. I’m here.”

“I . . . I’m a horrible person.” She reached up and brushed my wet mop of hair over my left shoulder to expose my right. She stood on her tip toes and kissed my wet shoulder gently.

“How so?” She was trying to get me to talk, that much was clear. I took a deep breath, lifted my head, and glanced at her.

“There’s so much I want to tell you . . . but I can’t.”

“Why not?” Why couldn’t I tell her? Several reasons popped into mind, none of which were worthy to be spoken.

“You’ll leave me if I tell you.” There. My greatest fear was spoken. I was the most vulnerable then and she could feel my softness. Her thumb ran along the lipstick line and I squirmed. She remembered it was there and instead of questioning me more about my past, she asked, “Can I wash this off?” I straightened out and turned around. Her hair was up and she stared up at me innocently. She looked somewhat child-like and I thought I felt myself fall deeper in love with her because she represented the happiness I needed in my life. She was the angel who was going to save me. My face twisted into one of sadness and she reflected me. Moving closer, she reached up and gripped my face quickly. I reciprocated the hold and we kissed passionately. I needed her to hold me but I needed her to see how desperate I was for her touch.

“Yes, Maus. Go ahead and wash it off. Don’t stray from the lines.” I stood up, closed my eyes, and took a deep breath. I heard the bottle of soap being opened and the squeezing of soap into her hand. She lathered her hands and began at the tip of my sternum. I saw the short film play over but this time, she was there protecting me from everything. She saw all that happened to me and stopped it from happening. Now I knew she wasn’t actually there, etc. but the thought of her already knowing what happened was comforting. She went around my belly button. I opened my eyes, the movie finished, and looked her in the face. She appeared more serious than before and I knew the conversation was coming. I braced myself to start it and I said, “Was there something you wanted to talk about? You look like you need to tell me something.” She stopped washing me for a second to glance up at me before continuing what she was doing.

“Yeah, Luisa. There is.” She paused to gather her thoughts and went on. “I’m worried about you. I know I shouldn’t talk to her but when I ran into Gail last night, she made me listen to a phone call she had with you.” I didn’t know what phone call she could be talking about because they were mostly business until I thought recently. Last Saturday. My suicide attempt. Dear God, not this. “I can tell you know which one I talking about and I just want to tell you it’s okay. I mean, it’s not okay that you tried to jump off your balcony but it’s okay why you did it. I know you love me, I know you have tragedies I don’t know about, and I know you don’t feel worthy of being loved. While those are not valid reasons to end your life, I’m glad you decided not to jump. It means you don’t want to suffer and you’re willing to listen to others. So listen to me: I love you, Luisa. I won’t leave you no matter what. Just promise me, no matter how bad things get, that you’ll never leave  _ me _ . In any sense of the word. I don’t know if I could bear it if you . . . if you . . . “

She began to break down in front of me and I needed to help her because  _ she _ was vulnerable. She had finished washing off the line and she was finally in my heart. I picked her up and hugged her. She hugged me back and we shared a few tear-filled kisses before ending the shower. We decided setting sail wasn’t the best option so we just got dressed and laid down on the bed. I turned on some soft, romantic songs and the first one to play was “Rhythm of Love” by Plain White T’s. We cuddled front to front and just laid there staring into each other’s eyes for a while. The easy rocking of the boat and the gentle beat of the song completed the scene perfectly. The collective warmth we shared was hypnotizing in itself and the added softness from our actions made us both feel better about the situation. How broken I was and how broken Beca was going to be if she stayed with me. I had already put her through so much hell and I couldn’t hide it.

With our faces inches apart, she saw every emotion pass over my face in mere seconds before I began crying to the song “TALK ME DOWN” by Troye Sivan. She held me in her arms until I was ready to talk. What I told her surprised her even more. “My mother abused me because she wanted me to be perfect for my father. She didn’t want him to leave us and I was the only way to make him stay. The only problem with me was . . . that I was gay. They could see it from a young age and I was forced into everything the other girls did to correct it. It’s the reason I know how to dance so well, the number of languages I know, and even why I physically am the way I am. I was forced to exercise until I passed out from dehydration or starvation. Either way, I was to be perfect for my father. But that apparently wasn’t enough.” The amount I cried was incomparable. I stopped where I did because I risked exposing the biggest secret of my life and I wasn’t ready to do that yet. Instead, I laid there in my lover’s arms and cried until I fell asleep. Since I was in Beca’s embrace, I had a dream for once and not a nightmare.

_ Beca laid in front of me on a red and white picnic blanket with her face inches away from mine. She had her arms wrapped around my neck but couldn’t come any closer because her pregnant stomach prevented any more proximity. I kissed her and held her stomach. I felt the little baby kick at my touch and I laughed. I could remember the last time I had been laughing at something and that wasn’t even a few minutes ago. I had finally found happiness. With Beca. She was the key. Memories of my tragic past became washed into the background as if they didn’t exist and all I did was look forward to the future. “I love you,” Beca’s voice echoed. That dreaded phrase that no longer caused the ranging of pain in my heart but love. “I love you more,” I heard myself say. She smiled at me before she responded, “Alright,” and kissed me again. Suddenly, I heard footsteps coming up behind me. They were definitely small and fast. Then I heard the accompanying heaving breaths. I became worried that someone was coming to ruin the special moment I was having with my wife and future son until I realized who it was. _

_ A big, sloppy kiss was placed on my cheek as soon as the footsteps stopped and I knew who it was. In retaliation, I turned onto my back and the first thing I saw was blue. Her blue eyes. Her big, blue eyes that told me who I was to her. Mother. I was her mother. “Mommy,” the small voice squeaked. I was stopped in my revenge attempt. I just laid there and stared up at the little girl that was my daughter. Long, blonde hair like mine with a deer-like nose and a round, little face. Vaguely her name came into my mind. Mae. My little Mae. And her personality flashed behind my eyes. Smart, funny, adorable. She absolutely loved princesses but liked to wear pantsuits instead of dresses. She loved dolls but preferred the imperfect ones to the standard Barbie. She loved cooking though she only ever cooked Middle Eastern food because she insisted we be “cultured”. She was my little girl. Our little girl. I sat up and held her in my lap. I was in awe of her. I couldn’t stop staring at her. Beca noticed and sat up next to me. “Luisa? Luisaaa? Luisa—” _

“Luisa,” Beca whispered, waking me. I became aware that my phone was ringing and my face was dry. I didn’t want to be bothered and to go back to my dream but she wouldn’t let me. “Answer it for me,” I pleaded, turning over onto my other side.

“Hello? Oh, hey . . . Yeah, she’s just sleeping . . . No, she’s not sick, just lazy . . . ” I threw a pillow at her for the last part and turned back over. I gave her a dirty look for the rest of the conversation before she hung up and laid back down next to me.

“What is it, Grouch Puss? Maus got your tongue?”

“Oh, no. Kitty is merely annoyed that you woke her up.”

“You were sleeping forever! It’s nearly twelve-thirty! I have nothing to do besides watch you sleep, but I don’t mind that.” She winked at me before snuggling into me. I took her into my arms and we went back to sleep to the soft notes of “The Only Exception” by Paramore.

********

Dinner that night was full of sexual glares between menus, common talk about life, and sensual touches under the table. She was planning for something and I could tell from the look in her eyes that she knew something I didn’t. She wore a simple black dress of mine while I wore something closer to what I’d wear to work. A grey pencil skirt and a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up. That and heels was what I wore as I picked up my wine glass and sipped slowly. I eyed her carefully and tried to figure out what she was planning but nothing came to mind. Instead, I spent most of the time admiring her. The way her hair fell from the top of her head flowed like waterfalls off the beautiful rocks that were her shoulders and her small but adorable body encased such a love for me that I couldn’t fathom it. I could barely understand my love for her let alone her love for me. Such concepts were for those who are English majors in college and those who could analyze situations at a deeper level.

Whenever I tried, I merely scratched the surface because she turned up with a much deeper meaning of the situation and I was left with what little I did. I wanted to do more for Beca with all she’d done but I couldn’t think of anything that didn’t involve her getting mad at me for spending too much money or her complaining about the phrase “I love you”. She didn’t outright complain but I could tell, the explosion was coming soon. Toward the end of our meal, she leaned forward and whispered to me, “Give me your underwear.” She knew I was wearing lacy underwear since that was all we seemed to pack until we got back to the apartment tonight. I didn’t comprehend what she said and I had to shake my head. “What?!” I whispered back in shock.

“Give me your underwear or else,” her tone threatened. I didn’t know what the ‘or else’ part was supposed to mean until she called the waitress over and asked for the check. I wasn’t going to go underwear-less and I certainly wasn’t letting her pay for this expensive meal so I had a difficult situation on my hands. The waitress came back with the check but thankfully left again. Beca had her card in her hand but my scolding glare wasn’t enough for her to stop. “Fine,” I stammered, snatching the bill from her. I placed my card in between the fold and placed it off to the side for the waitress to pick up. Beca relaxed in her seat for a while as she waited for me to remove my underwear. Looking around, I made sure nobody was watching before hiking up my skirt and pulling my underwear off. The black lace dropped around my ankles and to make it look smooth, I lifted my legs until Beca could pull off my underwear without a struggle. She pulled them off and smelled them before putting them in a pocket on the dress.

I watched in shock as my nakedness simultaneously embarrassed me and turned me on. The breeze acquired by my lack of panties made me quiver in my seat and Beca could clearly see that. The waitress returned with my card and we left soon after. While we were in the elevator, we were the only ones for the first floor up. Then others got on and our plans to fuck quickly in the elevator were ruined. Beca apparently had different plans when she bent down to check her heel. We were in the back of the elevator so no one would see us unless they turned around. I realized this was what she was planning but maybe not exactly this. She trailed her hand up the back of my leg as she stood up. Her hand hiked up my skirt a little before reaching its destination between my lips. I couldn’t stop the heavy breath that escaped me from the feeling of her fingers close to my entrance. She teased my clitoris with a few fingers until I naturally produced a lubricant for her to use. Her fingers briefly entered me to collect some of my wetness before going to circle my sex. I reached up and bit my finger to stop myself from moaning but I actually squirmed away from her. If I came, there was no telling what I’d say. That was when she leaned over and whispered, “Don’t come or I won’t let you later.”

I was sure to just enjoy this time and not come so I could come later. We were nearing our floor when I started to feel my orgasm building. To prevent it, I ground against her fingers and knocked her off her course. She glared at me for it but when I motioned to the floor number, she understood. She removed her fingers from me and I fixed my skirt before the elevator stopped at my apartment and we got off. Instantly, she pushed me against the wall and began to pleasure me again with her mouth at my neck. I made all the noises I wanted to in that elevator but more. I was so close to coming when she pulled away. Her phone was ringing and I didn’t even hear it over my obscene moans. She walked away and I threw my clutch purse at her in defiance. She continued to talk as if nothing happened and went into the other room. I wandered around until I stopped by the billiards table. I walked around it and sat on the one edge. “Luisa?” I heard Beca ask from another room.

“In here,” I called back. She found me moments later and tried to finish me off but I stopped her with a finger in the center of her chest.

“You made me wait so I’ll make you wait.” I hopped off the side and went to the cues on the wall. “Have you ever played pool?”

“I’m the champion, Kitty. Do you really want to challenge me?”

“Ja, Maus. How about a wager?”

“If I win, I get to . . . take you to the playroom. And if you win . . . ?”

“That’s my surprise.” The look I gave her was filled with mischief and she was going to take the bait.

“Alright, I’m solids.” She grabbed a fitting cue and broke the triangle already set up. One of her solid colored balls fell into one of the pockets and she continued. I watched as she knocked in three more of the solids before failing. The numbers two, six, and ten were all off the table and it was up to me to get more than her. I bent down in front of her, aimed at the number fifteen, and knocked it into the furthest pocket. I wiggled my ass in front of her to tease her and felt her palms against it for a brief second. I walked around and knocked in the number five before the number seven fell in the opposite hole. “Two for one, Maus.” She stuck her tongue out at me and waited for me to fail. I was heading for the number nine but missed the pocket by a few inches. She went and got in numbers four, sixteen, and twelve. She only had one more to go before she went after the number eight. Fourteen laid in the center of the table and she had access to every pocket if she angled the ball correctly and chose the easiest pocket to get it in. Naturally, the ball fell in at the last second and she called the eight ball for the pocket I was standing by. I had no intentions of cheating and she knew that so she went ahead and shot . . . only for the white ball to barely stop rolling before it landed in the hole. She won. Fair and square. 

“Looks like I’ll be in chains for the next hour or so,” I remarked, holding my wrists out to her. Out of nowhere, she spawned a pair of handcuffs and cuffed my hands together. My cue was placed on the table and she took me by the eyes with her own. Our eye contact was intense and she didn’t hesitate to assert her position in relation to me. It was clear she was in control of me. Giving the signal to be quiet, she told me, “I won’t be very rough since I only like this a little rough but . . . I will hit you and fuck you.” She grabbed the small chain and pulled me to the playroom where I stood barefoot with all my clothes on. She only took off my skirt and unbuttoned my shirt but that was all she did. She blindfolded me and grabbed a riding crop before bending me over the edge of the bed. She made me hold my arms out in front of me on the bed while my head was turned to the side. I had no clue what she was going to do but then I felt the leather of crop against my ass harshly. I screamed and breathed heavily.

She hit me again but this time, I whimpered. “You like that? Don’t you? You fucking bitch,” she gritted. She was clearly mad at me for something but since I used this as sort of a therapy, why couldn’t she? I bore the pain for as long as she needed me to because after all, I truly loved the pain. Eventually, she laid the crop down, separated my legs, and penetrated me with her entire fist. I screamed at first but once my vagina got used to the pounding of her fist into me, the pain turned to pleasure. I was already tense in my clitoral region so it didn’t take much pounding to get me off. She pulled her hand out of me and cleaned it off quickly. I heard the zipper to her dress unzip before it hit the ground with a small thud. She turned me over and pushed me onto the bed. By the time she took off the blindfold, she was straddling my chest and I could smell her sex from here. She held down my hands above my head as she mounted my face and began to ride my mouth desperately. I sucked her clit with equal desperation until she came and collapsed off to my side. My mouth and chin were covered in her fluids and I began to clean myself up. I moved to be next to her and she latched onto me.

“Oh, Lu. You don’t know how much I love you,” she whispered into my shoulder. She unlocked me from my cuffs so I could hold her back and we cuddled together. “No, Maus. I really don’t.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! So it's been a month . . . I know. I'm sorry. Motivation has really been lacking with this story and I'm sorry to say it, but I'm going on hiatus for a while. I have too much with school and work and my original book. But I promise I will finish this story, eventually. Once again, so sorry. Hope you can live off my other works for now! Love you all!
> 
> \- Psycho : P
> 
> P.S. This is Luisa's past, etc.

**Luisa**

 

I woke up sprawled over Maus in my bed with her hand on my breast and her leg wrapped around me. My head nuzzled into her shoulder with my lips inches from her neck was the position I was in and I barely shifted before she woke up. Her dark blue eyes opened to my lighter ones and she smiled. A little kiss was what she gave me immediately. She seemed so happy with me and I with her that I almost forgot my past existed. If that was what she did to me, then I wanted to keep her with me forever. I remembered that I wanted to take things slowly and that marriage was a big step for any couple so that had to wait a while. So instead, I asked her, “Would you like to move in with me?” Her eyes widened unevenly from sleep and she yawned. She readjusted herself so her arms were around my neck and she rested between my legs. She kissed me gently and thought about it. Internally, I felt my anxiety rise to a boiling point and I started to fidget uncontrollably. I tried to make it stop but something was preventing me from stopping. My breathing quickened and I began to hyperventilate.

I rolled off of Beca, sat up on the bed, and held my head in my hands. I rocked back and forth in a ball as memories from my past resurfaced.  _ “Daddy! Stop it! She did nothing wrong!” I shouted, seeing my mother fall to the floor. He had just beat the shit out of her again and her face was bleeding.  _ Other memories came back in flashes.

_ Her hand around my throat that lifted me off the ground before she threw me against a wall and then began screaming obscenities at me. I was only seven. _

_ “No, please! I’ll do it! I’ll . . . I’ll do it.” Mommy was pleading with Daddy to not leave us. He had already tried several times but she always promised something to him. Now she’d fill that promise. _

“Luisa! Luisa!” a voice yelled at me. I squeezed my eyes shut and shook the memories out of my head. When I opened my eyes, Beca was crying and on her knees in front of me. She held my wet face in her hands as she looked into each of my eyes. Instantly, I pulled her close and hugged her. I wept into her chest while she called for Pieter. He came rushing in with only his boxers on but the concern on his face surpassed the awkwardness of the situation. We were all some degree of naked but two-thirds of us were gay and the other was bisexual so. “What happened?” he asked, his concern taking over.

“I don’t know. She asked me to move in with her . . . then had a panic attack.” Pieter understood what happened and why and hurried to mitigate the situation. She wrapped both me and Beca in the sheet and laid us down. I continued to cry at the loss of innocence I experienced as a child and never let go of Beca no matter what. Eventually, she had to leave for work so Pieter took her place. He laid on top of the sheet since I was still naked but he pulled me into his arms and gently kiss the side of my head. It was weird how romantical we could be with each other but still remain friends afterward. “Just breathe, Luisa. Everything’s alright. You’re here . . . in my arms. Not back there,” Pieter whispered, trying to calm me. It seemed to work in the slightest and he coerced me to answer his questions. “What really happened?”

“I . . . I . . . don’t know.”

“Yes, you do. Beca said you asked her to move in?”

“I did . . . I guess I reminded myself what it was like to live with  _ her. _ ”

“So that’s what triggered it? You thought of  _ her. _ ”

“I guess. But that means nothing.  _ She  _ means nothing.”

“Then why did you have such a strong reaction? Because you haven’t gotten over her. You haven’t forgiven her for what she did.” I was done with listening to him at that point and I sat up and scolded him for it.

“How could I forgive what she did to me?! She abused me, she . . . she starved me, she even let that motherfucker—”

“Hey! That’s enough!” He sat up next to me and his eyes spoke it all. There was no need to bring that up. What  _ he _ did to me. What  _ he _ did was at least a thousand fold worse than what  _ she _ did. We held eye contact for as long as we could before our anger ran out and I was breaking down to tears again. “I’m sorry . . . I’m sorry,” I whimpered, clutching onto him. He sat there solidly because the sheet fell down and exposed my breasts, which were pressed against his chest. I quit my sobbing to ask him, “Are you really that repulsed by lady parts?” The snide comment amidst the serious tension released said tension and made us both laugh until we were crying.

“Yes . . . yes, I am.”

********

_ To answer your earlier question, yes, I will move in with you. I just need a few things from my apartment. _

That was the text I received from Beca while I was in the car to AIR. I was picking her up so we could go out to dinner afterward and I got my answer. “Yay!” I squealed.

“What is it?” Pieter asked, never taking his eyes off the road.

“She said ‘Yes’!”

“Congrats!” I celebrated my win by calling my mother. She knew how I felt about Beca and this was a large step for us. Our conversation was brief since she was at work anyway. When we arrived at AIR and as soon as Beca stepped into the car, I pulled her into my arms and smothered her with kisses. She pulled away as Pieter took off toward her apartment. “Okay, okay, I get it. You love me. I love you too,” she admitted, seeing the same fearful look in my eyes. She wasn’t going to question it after the morning I had but I could tell she was getting  _ really _ annoyed with me for it. She had every right to be because after all, I wasn’t worthy of anything. Not even my privilege. I tried to keep my self-loathing at bay but it never worked. I masked it with fake happiness so Beca wouldn’t notice and cuddled closer to her. She accepted the embrace, despite how annoyed she was feeling.

We rode like this the entire way to her apartment where she told me, “I’ll just be a few minutes.” She hopped out and got into her apartment safely. Pieter and I sat in the car for a little while as she went up to her apartment. We had a conversation about his husband and their child together but what I found out was that they were at risk for divorce because Pieter didn’t have much time to see them. I instantly blamed myself for it and told him that he should move back in with his husband as long as he was fine with it. While Pieter called his husband to tell him the good news, I sat back and wondered where Beca was. It was taking her more than the few minutes she promised. Suddenly, I got a call from the head of my private investigation team. “Hey Ross, what’s up?” I asked, clearly sensing something was amiss.

“Well, ma’am—”

“How many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me ‘Ma’am’?”

“Sorry, Ms. Meyer. Won’t happen again. But it’s about Chloe.” I immediately became suspicious. He went on to explain that she had obtained a small handgun yesterday and learned to use it. No further whereabouts were known besides a coffee shop down the street and I knew where she was. I thrusted myself out the door with Pieter in tow and handed him my heels before bounding up the steps two at a time. I was out of breath by the time I reached the apartment with sweat starting to bead on my forehead. The apartment door was open and I could hear dialogue between the two of them. “This is mine and so is she. She’s all I have left. But now you can join your love,” Chloe sneered.

I burst in through the door and appeared next to Beca. She was so glad to see me that she instantly held my waist. I pried her off and kissed her chastely. Chloe rolled her eyes in defiance and continued to hold the small revolver toward both of us. She had a fire in her eyes that I had seen too many times to forget. Beca got the same look in her eyes when she was dominating me. I made eye contact with her and she settled. I held my hand up to stop Pieter from doing anything before I took a step toward Chloe. Beca tried to pull me away but stopped when she how placid Chloe was becoming the closer I got to her. An old feeling came over me as I got closer to the redhead. She lowered the gun and held out her hand to me, palm first. I remembered what to do and got down onto my knees in front of her. I looked up to see her dark blue eyes melt out into the somber and controlling figure I once knew her to be. I was at her will but at least she lowered the gun. I heard Beca gasp at how I was reacting to her and knew that was it. I had lost her again. Tears stung my eyes as I looked down at the ground like I was supposed to.

“Tell her to leave,” Chloe demanded of me. I looked over my shoulder with tears in my eyes and saw it. The epitome of disappointment. I’d seen it with my birth father, my birth mother, and now the only other person I loved. Tears streaked her face while her brows furrowed in anger at me. At what I was doing. I was submitting to the person who just tried to kill her. Great idea, Luisa. But still, I had to get her out of there since Chloe still had the gun. “Go, Beca,” I told her, voice soft and submissive. When it looked like Beca wasn’t going to leave, I said it more curtly. “Go! Beca! Now.” As soon as Beca and Pieter left, Chloe handed me the gun. “I didn’t need it anyway. Now that i have you,” she said, reaching down to grip my chin. She pulled my gaze up to hers and licked her lips. I could see all she wanted to do to me in the irises of her eyes but I couldn’t stop myself from revolting. I stood up and explained to her, “I can’t do this! I can’t, Chloe! I love her too much to lose her and now you’ve made me do that. What is wrong with you?!”

“Nothing, except you. I wanted you for my own and now I can’t even do that.” She seemed hurt but I didn’t care. I told her to stay away from us and called the police on her. I assumed Beca had done what I said and went back to the apartment with Pieter. As we waited for the police to show up, I tried to explain to her that she needed to move on from me and go back to her husband. She seemed to understand after a while and willingly went with the police to seek medical attention. Now that I had tamed Chloe, I needed to go home and deal with the fury that would be Beca.

********

Hours later, I was beyond mad. Infuriated. She didn’t come home and I was so worried about her, I started to sweat. I paced around the living room with my phone glued to the side of my face and unbuttoned my shirt fully. I opened the door to the balcony and the cool air rushed into the room. I could breathe easier with the fresh air but I still felt suffocated. Being without Beca made me feel as if I was living without air. My phone rang and it was from Ross. He had been tracking Beca ever since I got home and he was telling me that she was in the building. I anticipated her arrival by facing the entrance and holding my hips in expectation. My breathing had slowed to deep, calm breaths but it didn’t help relieve my anger. She walked in and threw her jacket over the back of the couch as she approached me. “Hey, Luisa. I’m—”

“Shut the hell up! Where the fuck were you?! I told you to come back here! It’s now nearly ten-thirty! I’ve been worried sick about you!” I screamed at her. I had no regard for how she felt about the situation and just reverted to mine. She was clearly offended by the anger in my voice and retaliated accordingly. “Excuse me?! You don’t get to talk to me like that after you spent God knows how much time with your crazy ex-girlfriend!”

“Why do you say it like that?! What’s wrong?” My anger faltered to become concern for a split second. She noticed the crack in my affront and stabbed at it.

“I’m not what you need. Just seeing you with her . . . “ I realized what she meant. I tried to reach out for her but she stepped away from me. She was starting to run away from me. She promised me she wouldn’t but she was.

“You’re running, aren’t you?” The fear in my voice was evident. My anger muddled with my fear and I couldn’t control myself anymore.

“Luisa, please. I just . . . I . . . I . . . “

“No! No! You can’t! You can’t go Beca! I need you!”

“Luisa—”

“No . . . No!” As if I knew what to do, I regressed into who I was before. Who I was with Gail. The dominant. Luisa the dominant. I stood up straight and pointed a finger at her. That was when I yelled at her, “You’re not leaving me! Now sit your ass down on that goddamn floor on your knees now!” I could see the tears run down her cheeks in desperation. I knew she didn’t want to submit nor did she want to go back to the person I made her to be. She had to make a choice but I knew the decision was going to break her heart. So she became her dominant. She was going to fight me with her abrasive side until one of us gave up. I knew how tenacious she could be and knew I was going to lose but I put up the fight anyway. “No! Luisa! I already promised you I wasn’t going to run but you don’t seem to get it through your thick skull that someone could possibly love you!” I was cut deep. She knew how sensitive I was about the subject of love and she went for it anyway. “Look, I’m sorry I didn’t come home immediately. It’s just you never give me time to think about things and—”

“Beca! There’s something I need to tell you.”

“What?!”

“I’m . . . I’m not a submissive. I’m a masochist. I get off by being hurt by women who . . . “

“Who look like your mother.” She gasped once she realized it.

“Yes, I know. But as messed up as it sounds, you’ve been the one to change that. When you left me, I . . . promised myself that I wouldn’t want to be hurt again. If it meant I could still be with you. I don’t know how to do that hearts and flowers thing but I do know one thing . . . “ I could see the anxiety in her eyes that I would finally say it. The three-word phrase that so killed me. “ . . . it’s that I can’t live without you.” Damnit. The disappointment was instant on her face. She looked down at her shoes for a second before looking back at me and responding.

“Luisa. I want to believe everything you’re saying but you’ve never given me any indication that you truly trust me. You’ve barely told me anything and—”

“Stop it!” I quit before I grabbed her face and kissed her passionately and angrily. She tried to get away from me but I wasn’t going to let her. I grabbed her hand to do the one thing I never thought I would. She tried to pull it away since she didn’t know what I was doing. I had one hand at her throat and the other holding her wrist. “Luisa, stop! No!” she pleaded, thinking I was going to make her touch me inappropriately.

“If you won’t fucking believe me—” That was it.

One swift motion landed her hand on the one place no one has ever touched. My scar. She froze when her skin hit mine but once she realized where it was, she gasped. She stopped trying to get away and just stared. Her fingers delicately covering the white lash across my ribcage, she was mesmerized by the phenomena that was her hand over my scar. I stood shaking at the sudden invasion of me and readjusted my grip on her neck to her cheek. I closed my eyes to gather my thoughts. Once I had them together and knew what to say, I opened them again and looked her in the eyes. “If you won’t believe me . . . “ I splayed my hand over hers, “ . . . believe this: I want you more than I want the pain. I  _ need _ you more than I need the pain. Beca . . .  _ Maus _ . . . I . . . I  _ love you _ . . . more than I love the pain.” We both cried until we couldn’t anymore and kissed until we couldn’t anymore. After that, I couldn’t stop telling her I loved her. She cried because I finally told her. I cried because I knew I had to tell her my past.

When she pulled away, I knew what she’d ask. So I answered her before. “Yes . . . I’ll tell you.”

********

_ At age twelve, I stood in front of my parents as they argued about what to do. They argued a lot of the time. Mainly about what to do with me. Most of the time when they argued like that, I ended up having to take care of myself afterward. All I did was kiss my best friend Aren. It was a harmless kiss but apparently, neither of my parents liked it, both for different reasons. My father because he was straight up homophobic and my mother because she wanted my father to stay with her. She didn’t want to be lonely so she used me as his excuse for having to stay with us. Like I was his prized possession. But they continued to argue until someone made the first move, which was my mother. She slapped him clear across the face before he shoved her to the floor in anger. He picked her up again by the neck and made it very clear to her, “I will not have a daughter who is a faggot! Do you understand me?! I don’t care if I have to beat it out of her myself!” At that, he dropped her, nearly unconscious, and went for me. He repeated his action of picking me up by the neck and screaming at me. “I swear to God if you tell me you like that bitch . . . I’ll kill her!” My small hands tried to pry at his hand around my neck but it was futile. _

_ “Daddy, stop! I don’t like her! She kissed me! I hate her!” I screamed, not noticing the door open. Aren walked in, heard that, and screamed, “Well, I hate you too, Luisa! I never loved you! Never have, never will!” Then she ran out the door crying. Our secret relationship was over. I loved her like no one else and now I lost her. I didn’t care what my father did to me. Upon hearing those words, my father went ballistic. He dropped me and began to kick me in the stomach with his work boots on. I cried but I didn’t mean it. I just wanted to die in that moment. I hoped he did too. I couldn’t live without Aren and now that she was gone, there was no way I’d be able to survive the hellhole that was my house. He kicked me until he was satisfied but not done. That was when he picked me up by the biceps and shook me until I was disoriented. “Look at me, you little bastard! I don’t know what it takes to get you to understand that you . . . can not be a little faggot!” The reason he was so homophobic was that his previous wife left him for another woman. He thought he found his soulmate but it was clear she hadn’t felt the same. I didn’t know what power possessed me to say it but I did. “Why don’t you tell that to your ex-wife?” I sneered, not realizing the consequences. _

_ He was pissed off enough by that statement to slap me so hard across the face that I passed out. I didn’t remember what happened after that. I just remember waking up on the living room floor with a black eye and a bloodied lip. My parents were arguing again. They were in the kitchen so I couldn’t see them but I could hear them, despite how quiet they tried to be. “If you don’t let me do it, then I’m leaving tomorrow,” my father snickered. _

_ “No, please! I’ll do it! I’ll . . . I’ll do it,” my mother pleaded, walking out of the kitchen. She found me and picked me up off the floor. “Hey, sweetie. Let’s get you cleaned up,” she persuaded. I was hesitant but once I saw the look in my father’s eyes, I knew it was better to go along with the idea. My mother to my room and dressed me in the shortest skirt I had and the most revealing shirt I had to expose what curves I did have at that time. Then she put makeup on me to cover up most of the damage my father had done to me before taking me to her and my father’s room. She laid me down on the bed and left. I had no clue what was going on, not even when my father came in with a devilish look on his face. _

_ I was instantly scared for my life. “Don’t be scared, honey. It’ll only be a few minutes,” he said like it was supposed to calm my nerves. I was shaking when he got to me but more out of fear than anything else. “I just want to show you how you should live your life,” he whispered before his hands crawled up my legs. They were colder than anything I had ever felt before and I began to squirm away. That was when he grabbed my ankles and pulled me to the edge of the bed where he slapped me again. That shut me up and made me follow his orders. I laid back on the bed with my arms attached to my sides and my legs shut in front of him. His hands climbed back up my legs and stopped at my hips underneath my skirt. His fingers hooked into my panties and pulled them down until they came off. I didn’t pay much more attention after that because I knew what was happening was wrong and didn’t want to focus on it. All I felt after that was pain and a massive weight between my legs. When he groaned at the end, he told me, “That is how you are meant to be. Girls are not meant to be with girls.” _

_ Once I realized what truly happened, I knew I had to run away. There was no reason for me to stay. I packed a bag the next day and explained everything to Aren. She didn’t believe me but I kissed her and she believed me then. She wanted to run away with me but I wouldn’t let her. I was planning on leaving that night and I was right to leave that night because when I got home, my parents were arguing again and my mother was suddenly on the floor. She wasn’t moving and blood was running from her head. My father picked her up and shouted at her but she still wouldn’t move. He knew she was dead. He started to shake her frantically and that was the first time I saw my father in fear. That was when he saw me. He dropped her and stared at me for a few moments. He seemed to be deciding how to handle me since I saw him murder my mother. I thought his decision was to kill me since he stalked toward me with a murderous look in his eyes. I tried to run away but he caught me by the backpack and pulled me back toward him. I kicked and screamed but nothing worked. He dropped me on the floor and stepped on my chest hard. I felt my ribs crack and then I couldn’t breathe. My lung had been punctured by my ribs and I had a difficult time breathing. _

_ I could see the tears in his eyes as he realized what he did and I knew in that moment that he actually loved me. In some fucked up way, he loved me and couldn’t kill me. He fell to his knees beside me and picked me up. He kissed my cheek gently and whispered, “I’m sorry. Run, go, now! Luisa! Go!” I grabbed my bag and ran out the front door. Leaving him behind, I ran until I had no more air to run. I made it to the little cafe at the corner of my street before I collapsed. I stared into the darkening sky and saw my fate in death. But that was when I met Grace for the first time. She sunk to her knees on my side and quickly examined me. She figured out that I was losing air from my punctured lung and asked for substitute materials. She made a small incision on my right side and inserted a straw so I could breathe again. As soon as the oxygen got to my head, I passed out. I didn’t hear a single word she said to me that night. _

_ When I woke up, I was in a bright room dressed in white with Grace and John at my bedside. I didn’t know what they were doing but from what I picked up on from their conversation with the doctor, I would’ve died if it weren’t for Grace. I looked down at my side and vaguely asked, “Why do I have stitches?” All were surprised I was awake but from that moment on, I was happy I was alive. All thanks to the woman I would eventually call Mom. _

********

_ “Oh my God! What’s wrong with you?!” she screamed. She clearly didn’t like the story I had to tell and I knew from the look in her eyes that she was going to run. “Beca, no!” I yelled, feeling her grip slip from mine. She turned and ran away from me. I couldn’t stop the tears from falling from my eyes as I sunk to my knees. “No, Maus! No!” _

The first thing I saw was blue. She came back. Then I realized I was in bed. We went to bed hours ago and made love before falling asleep. She kissed my scar several times to show me it was okay for her to know my past. That was the first time I voluntarily cried out of happiness in forever and she was very accepting of everything. But that was not the concern now. She left while I was sleeping and I had a nightmare without her here. “You left,” I whined, nearly in tears. She sat down on the edge of the bed next to me and kissed me. “I just went to get some water. I wasn’t going to leave you. I’ve promised you that.” I didn’t know what possessed me to do it but I pulled her down next to me and snuggled into her chest.

“Marry me then,” I told her.

“What?” She was genuinely surprised at what I said.

“Marry me.”

“Luisa you need to sleep. And I’ll have to think about it.”

“Okay.” With that, I went back to sleep in her arms.

**Author's Note:**

> Updates will most likely be on a weekly basis unless I can find more time to write.


End file.
